Archive

Posts Tagged ‘What Pegman Saw’

Pegman – A Wales by Any Other Name

May 14, 2018 26 comments

Here is my post for What Pegman Saw. This week Pegman is in Gwynedd, Wales. It’s been a few weeks since I’ve contributed 😦

The photo I chose is of the Cross Foxes Inn where I stayed a few years ago on a little holiday. My story is more inspired by Wales than in Wales, and I’ve popped a couple of photos at the end which I took while I was there.

Copyright Google

 

“At last week’s product meeting we tasked Barry to give us all his view on the market in Wales. Barry?”

“Thank you Alyssa. Ahem. Whales. Monsters of the sea. Grand, majestic…”

“Uh, Barry…”

“… blubber for oil, bone for corsets…”

“Barry, stop! Not only are you horribly out of date but we need your product evaluation for Wales, not whales. Next week?”

“Okay, sorry.”

Next week…

“Okay folks, sorry about last week. Barry, if you will?”

“Thank you. Ahem. Wails. Screams. Screeches. The banshee’s call of dooooom. A weapon of awesome power, to monetise as we see fit…”

“BARRY! Wales. The country.”

“Oh, shit. Sorry everyone. Next week, I promise. A fully comprehensive breakdown of product opportunities in Wales. The country.”

Next week…

“Wales. Damn pretty. Hills, rivers, forests. Nothing we can sell them. They have it all. Luvvvvly.”

“Barry? You’re right. And you’re fired.”

 

Waterfall in Wales

A waterfall in Coed y Brenin forest park, Wales

Coed y Brenin

Copyright me

Pegman – Revelations on Safari

April 22, 2018 50 comments

Here is my story for What Pegman Saw. This week we’re going to Botswana. Tell you what, I must have looked at 100 photospheres before I found one that had animals in it. And you can barely see them.

My story has three people but it’s hopefully easy enough to work out who’s speaking.

Copyright Alexandre Suplicy/Google Maps

 

“Dada, what dey giwaffies doin’?”

“They’re having lunch, little one.”

“An’ Dada, what is dey zebwas doin’?”

“They’re, um… oh my. One for you, darling!”

“Of course, my love. The zebras are… getting to know each other, because they love each other very very much. And they’re very very nice.”

“Oh. Then you mus’ be vewy vewy nice too, Mama, ‘cos jus’ last week you was getting’ to know da gardener and da pool man and da pizza dewivewy man an’…”

“Uh, my sweet, what is she saying…?”

“Haha just ignore her my love haha the deluded ravings of a confused child haha such an imagination must get it from your mother haha did she say something I didn’t hear her say anything oh look baby elephants let’s go and see the baby elephants…” (races off with the kids)

“Um. Shit.”

 

Pegman – Best Intentions

April 2, 2018 34 comments

Here is my story for What Pegman Saw which this week takes us to the Gurara Waterfalls in Nigeria.

Copyright Eimantas Tamonis for Google Maps

 

“Ah, the power, the majesty…”

“Don’t jump, mate.”

“No, I’m just enjoying…”

“It’s not worth it. Lost your job?”

“You don’t understand…”

“It’s the wife, right? Shacked up with your best mate?”

“No, really, I just want some peace and quiet to…”

“It’s not worth killing yourself over.”

“Listen, you need to…”

“Just ‘cos he’s a stallion in the sack and you’re more of an eager hamster…”

“What? What? You… you…” shove

“Aaaargh… nooooot agaaaaaaain…” splash!

“That’s better. Ah, the power, the majesty…”

 

2 weeks later, after yet another stay in hospital…

 

“Oh, the gorgeous view…”

“Hey, lady, don’t jump, it’s not worth it.”

“Excuse me? No, I’m just enjoying…”

“It’s the old man, right? Shacked up with your best mate…”

 

Pegman – Hunter and Prey

March 26, 2018 37 comments

Here is my story for What Pegman Saw which this week takes us to Yellowstone National Park in America.

Copyright Blake Everson for Google Maps

 

Samuel crept silently through the trees, rifle held loosely in his hands. He had eschewed the traditional brightly-coloured hunter’s jacket for camouflage, blending in perfectly with his surroundings.

Carefully avoiding tourists and park rangers he moved silently through the caldera, at last spying signs of his prey. Footprints, small yet distinct – fresh. He peered through a bush… there! His quarry, resting in a clearing.

Raising the rifle to his eye, he sighted and gently, ever so gently, applied pressure to the trigger. A twang and he suddenly shot off the ground, caught in a net, his shot going hopelessly wide! Another of his quarries ran past and the pair disappeared, laughing, into the trees.

Finally he arrived home, having spent hours sawing through the net.

“Any luck, dear?”

“Grr. No. It’s true what they say. He is smarter than the av-er-age bear.”

 

Sorry, did you say Yellowstone Park? Oops.

 

[Note: I was going to pop a picture at the end but didn’t want to spoil the punchline, so if there’s anyone who didn’t get the reference, you can click here 🙂 ]

 

Pegman – The Future of Love

March 12, 2018 52 comments

Here is my story for What Pegman Saw. This week we are visiting the Bahamas.

Copyright Slayde Kerner for Google Maps

 

“Oh, darling, it seems just yesterday that we walked hand in hand along the pristine beaches, so in love…”

“It was just yesterday.”

“… our hearts swelling swe..swe.. meep meep meep…”

“Oh, terrific.”

dial dial dial

“Hello. Is that Robo Inc? My wife’s broken down.”

“No problem, Sir!”

“But… I’m in the Bahamas. Miles from any engineer!”

… meep meep in love in love yesterday day day fzzzt…

“Don’t worry, Sir. With our new InstaBoot Remote™ service, we’ll have her up in a jiffy. Just 2000 dollareuropounds plus tax per month.”

“What amazing value! Sign me up!”

“Of course, Sir. One moment, please.”

… hand in hand meep BZZZZZZ…

“… BEEP! hello, my darling, why don’t we walk along the beach and make love in the waves?”

“Hooray! Thanks, Robo Inc!”

 

TRIAL InstaBoot Remote™ NOW!*
Robo Inc – Supplying, upgrading and rebooting your significant others since 2078.

*3 minutes free, minimum 20yr contract

 

Categories: Fiction Tags:

Pegman – A Busy Haunting

March 4, 2018 40 comments

Here is my story for What Pegman Saw. I’ve missed a few weeks but I’m very busy at the moment. February/March is audits, budgets and all sorts!

This week we’re on the Clinton Road in New Jersey. This road is notorious for sightings of ghosts, Satanists, witches and even the Ku Klux Klan.

Of course, I bet they all like to come back after death and join the other ghosts… prepare to be terrified to your verrrry corrrre 🙂

Copyright Google Maps

 

Woo-woo!

“Oy! Who are you?”

“We are the ghosts of witches past!” said a witch.

“Well, we’re the ghosts of Satanists past and this is our week,” said a Satanist.

“Don’t think so,” replied a witch. “I’m pretty sure we’re up.”

Woo-woo!

“We are the ghosts of the Ku Klux Klan. Shudder in fear at… oh, it’s you.”

“Oh, great,” said a witch. “The bloody KKK.”

“It’s getting pretty crowded around here,” said a Satanist.

“There’s been a bit of a scheduling error,” said a witch, checking her diary. “We’re all booked in.”

“Well, we can work with the witches,” said a Satanist, “but everybody hates the KKK. Bugger off.”

“I’ve never been so insulted in my life!” said a Klanner.

“Pretty sure you have,” said a witch.

And so the KKK left in a huff, leaving the witches and Satanists, who had always been of the same mindset, to haunt the road in peace.

 

Categories: Fiction Tags: , ,

Pegman – Entrepreneur

February 12, 2018 25 comments

Here is my story for What Pegman Saw. This week we are in Terni, Italy.

This was the birthplace of Saint Valentine, celebrated on February 14th. I chose a rather idyllic scene from the outskirts of the town. Let’s see how it all began!

Copyright Google

 

Valentinus looked over his lands and smiled. Life was good.

It had started out slow. He’d carried a love letter from a suitor to his sweetheart. Once others heard, his services were in demand.

Ever the entrepreneur, he’d monetised it. Charged people to take part. Hired a local artisan to build little boxes, each with two sections. If someone liked someone else they placed some papyrus with their name on in the corresponding person’s right-hand section. If the names matched in two right-hand sections, Valentinus would arrange a meeting (for a small extra fee, of course). The left-hand box and he’d let them down gently.

Easy peasy.

He called it “Tinderus”. It sounded catchy, he thought. He was providing an essential service. A service to love. (What a great strapline, he thought.)

He ought to be canonised after he died, he reckoned. “Saint Valentinus” had such a nice ring to it.