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Posts Tagged ‘What Pegman Saw’

Pegman – Land of Dreams

January 15, 2018 20 comments

Here is my story for What Pegman Saw which this week is set in Fiji. Sorry I haven’t read anyone else’s yet but I like to come up with a story before subconsciously robbing other people’s ideas.

Copyright Brendan Madden and Google

 

“Fellow world leaders, advisors and scientists. Welcome to the International Conference on Climate Change.”

Claps

“News has been received. News which will change the course of our work forever!”

Cheers

“We have decided to end all work to combat so-called climate change, as it doesn’t exist.”

Gasps

“No, my fellows, wait, please. We have received an anonymous communique via social media which is highly literate, indubitably based in solid science and clearly true. I shall read it now.”

“Global warming? Hah. It’s freezing here. Chance would be a fine thing. FAKE NEWS! Stop wasting money or I’ll push my red button and it’s bigger than yours. Climate change? NO!”

Back to claps.

Everyone went home.

Nobody did anything.

Fiji drowned.

 

Pegman – Grand Adventure

January 8, 2018 32 comments

Here is my story for What Pegman Saw. This week we are in Syria.

Copyright Google

 

“I can’t believe this. I really can’t.”

“It’ll be okay, Hun. It’s a mistake anybody could have made.”

“No, Dear. Just you. I mean, honestly. We should have been sitting in beautiful Sicily, instead of which…”

“I know, I know, we’re stuck in a sand storm in a war zone.”

“Syria. Syracuse. They’re not that similar.”

“I wondered why we needed visas. At least there’s sand. Pretend we’re at the beach. It’ll be a grand adventure!”

“…”

“Never mind, love of my life, we’ll soon be on our way to romantic Paris. All this will seem like a bad dream. Ah, freshly-baked croissants in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower.”

“Let me see those tickets. Ah yes. Well done. Two seats to Paris. Texas.”

“Hmm. I wondered why we needed visas.”

“I want a divorce.”

 

Pegman – Merry Star Wars Christmas

December 24, 2017 46 comments

Here is my story for What Pegman Saw, which this week takes us to North Pole, Alaska.

Hopefully you guys have either seen Star Wars or are familiar with the story, or this story’s going to be reasonably nonsensical.

I have just cooked a nice ham so the kitchen smells all hammy and I have been indulging in my Christmas Eve tradition – wrapping presents while watching the greatest Christmas film ever made – Die Hard. I’m just at the bit where there’s “four assholes coming in the rear in standard two by two cover formation”.

Copyright Google

 

And yea did it come to pass that Santa was seduced by the Dark Side, and verily were there no more presents. And it is written that, lo, young Fluke Skyhumper did come to Santa, for verily was Fluke the son of Santa.

And thus spake he, “I feel the good in you, Father (Christmas),” and lo did Santa reply unto him “Thee wilt join me on the Dark Side,” and verily did Fluke refuse.

And thus did they fight, yet neither wouldst kill the other, for kin they were, yea verily. And so didst Santa’s evil master Emperor Rudolph’s nose glow red and did emit lasers unto Fluke. And then did Santa attack Rudolph and did save his son Fluke, yet Santa, returned to good, was gravely wounded, yea verily, and didst he die.

And so endeth this tale, yet never more were there presents, for Santa had perished. Merry Christmas 🙂

 

Note: this is a work of fiction. Santa is of course alive and well and will be delivering presents as usual this Christmas. Yea verily.

Pegman – Lost Souls

December 19, 2017 40 comments

Here is my story for What Pegman Saw, which takes us to Buckhorn, Iowa. It is the one year anniversary, though I haven’t been doing it for that long, and this is where it started!

I’m quite late this week with my story. I have a nasty cold – chesty cough, headache, the full shebang, and my brain refused to come up with a story. I finally got there, so here it is 🙂 Hope it reads okay, I had to edit out 60-odd words.

Copyright Google

 

The bus drew up and the children disembarked. The graveyard seemed to stretch on forever.

“This is the Graveyard of Lost Souls,” explained Miss Tembleton. “Can anyone tell me why it’s called that?”

A small boy raised his hand. “Because no-one knows where the souls went, Miss.”

“That’s correct. During the early days of the Soul Wars, we didn’t know how to help those affected. Their bodies died but their life essence lingered.”

The children shuddered. “So where are they, Miss?”

“We don’t know. Floating around the place, maybe? I’m joking, of course. Now, back on the bus.”

She felt a coldness seep into her body, heard the Voice in her mind.

Well done, Tembleton. Continue to bring us vessels and your own children will remain safe.

Shivering, she looked around. Two of the children had strange looks on their faces, their eyes seeming far too old for their eight-year-old bodies.

 

Pegman – The King

December 11, 2017 37 comments

Here is my story for What Pegman Saw which this week sees us at the Palace of Versailles.

Copyright from Google Maps

 

Pierre waited in the gilded antechamber, readying his performance. His anxiety increased. To play at the Palace of Versailles – an honour to be sure – was nerve-wracking in itself, but rumours were that the King himself would be in attendance. If true it was huge indeed – the King was thought dead.

The curtains opened leaving Pierre feeling exposed. Peering into the crowd, he was sure he caught a glimpse of the King’s trademark clothing – high-necked, glittering like the sun. He sat at the piano and started to play, adding his voice to the melody.

He finished, stood and bowed.

Silence.

All eyes turned to the King.

The King proclaimed in his deep voice, “Unoriginal. Return to sender, you hound dog. Thank you. Thank you very much,” struck a pose and left.

“Huh,” thought Pierre. “I hate Vegas. And the Palace of Versailles Casino and Ballroom can kiss my butt.”

 

Pegman – New Species

December 4, 2017 30 comments

Here is my story for What Pegman Saw, which this week is in Fukushima, scene of the nuclear accident. While I’m not entirely happy writing a funny story in the wake of all that, options seemed limited. It’s a pretty lame and silly story anyway, to be honest.

Copyright Google

 

“Where is everybody?”

“Dunno. Maybe it’s a national holiday or something.”

“I figured there might be a carnival on, what with the barriers.”

“Barriers?”

“Yeah. While you were asleep we passed barriers on the road. There was no-one there so I just drove around.”

“Woah. Maybe we’re not supposed to be here.”

“We’re Google, dude. We’re supposed to be everywhere.”

“Yeah!”

High five.

“Let’s map the rest of these streets and get out of here. Hmm, my noses are bleeding.”

“That’s weird. My hair is falling out. Hey, you didn’t used to have two heads, did you?”

“Not not that that I I remember remember.”

“Cool!”

High five.

“Hey, look. I have a third hand!”

Extra high five.

“There’s a bench. Let’s stop and have lunch.”

“Good idea. Don’t get your tail trapped in the door.”

And thus began the rise of… Homo Mutans!

 

Pegman – Invasion of the Ice Cream Snatchers

November 27, 2017 40 comments

Here is my story for What Pegman Saw. This week we are in the Isle of Wight.

It’s been years since I was there. I think we took a ferry from Portsmouth to Ryde. I seem to recall singing the Beatles’ “Ticket to Ride/Ryde” and waving my ticket around.

I went with the suggested “mysterious object in the sky”.

Copyright The Google

 

Dro’Gek stared up at the sky. “This is it! They’ve finally arrived.”

“Hooray!” replied Merk’Na. “The invasion’s on! Jee’Bak, scan it.”

“Scanning,” said Jee’Bak. “It’s… a seagull.”

“Dammit!” snapped Dro’Gek.

“Wait, though,” reasoned Merk’Na. “They might be using camouflage tech. Hiding from the humans. Check again.”

Just as Jee’Bak turned back to the scanner, the shape dropped towards them.

“It must be them!” called Dro’Gek. “They’ve seen us!”

The shape shot straight down and ripped through the little group, sending them flying. It soared away and they dragged themselves to their feet.

“It wasn’t them, then,” said Jee’Bak. “That gives me an idea, though. We had, what, two pasties and an ice cream? Now we have only crumbs. And Merk’Na has lost a hand.”

“Waah!” sobbed Merk’Na.

“Yes!” agreed Dro’Gek. “We don’t need the others. We shall weaponise the seagulls!”

And so the (rather ineffectual) invasion of Earth began.