FF – Kidz
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This weeks’ photo was contributed by Sarah Ann Hall.
(For non-UK persons, a “GCSE” is an exam taken at age 16.)
This might be a bit hard to read but I find some kids a bit hard to understand so there you go. Authenticity.
Copyright Sarah Ann Hall
“I wanna makes an impression in da interview so I smashes dis vase an I’s like coz dis one’s fake innit coz I has GCSE Art wot I almost passed an I sees from der faces it woz like a real one…”
Sigh.
“… an I’s like whatevs an dey’s like get out an I’s like talk to da hand an dey’s like priceless Ming an I’s like wot like in Flash Gordon an den dey frew me out.”
“So, you didn’t get the job, then, dear?”
“Nah. An I need an advance on ma pocket money coz dey sending me da bill innit.”
Sigh.
Speak to me - I'd love to hear your thoughts!
Click for a random post!
Woohoo!
I totally didn't win!
Share Your World
Friday Fictioneers
draliman on life 
For what its worth, mom should get the vase checked. Definitely more like 21st century Chinese tourist junk rather than priceless Ming 😀
LikeLike
Yes, check the rubble before paying, for sure 🙂
LikeLike
Sounds like our fellow needs a bit of an education in common sense, although that seems to be one of the most difficult topics to absorb.
LikeLike
Let’s hope as he gets older he’ll absorb some. And start to talk properly, too…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha, great language, I read it in a London ‘yoff’ accent. Really good.
LikeLike
Thanks, it took a while to get it right 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dese youves got no common sense! 😀
LikeLike
Troo dat 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sadly too lifelike!
LikeLike
Yep 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
😂 this really made me laugh. Heard that way of talking a fair few times. It’s when it’s mumbled it’s hardest to understand!
LikeLike
It’s pretty rare where I live but I’m always worried if I hear someone talking like that I’ll start laughing and get beaten up 🙂
I’m glad you enjoyed it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha! I love the language in this. And if he smashed a Ming, he’ll be paying for that one for a very long time! Loved this one.
LikeLike
Yes, I don’t think an advance on his pocket money is going to cover it, somehow! I’m glad you liked it.
LikeLiked by 2 people
This was great! Loved the language (and man… did you ever get it right)
LikeLike
Thanks, I’m glad you liked the dialect! It was quite hard to write, took lots of last minute editing 🙂
LikeLike
I can well imagine! No easy task!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh dear, I fink he needs to go back and redo his SATs Key Stage 2. You really worry about our kids. Even Ming the Merciless would be horrified by the breaking of the vase. You did a brill job on the lingo me old mate 😀
LikeLike
Ming may have been Merciless, but I’m sure he enjoyed a good bit of culture 🙂
I’m glad you enjoyed it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Now I think I know who is writing all of those eloquent comments that end up in my Spam folder…
LikeLike
At least he has a backup career…
LikeLike
This is like the old song “Another Brick in the Wall” by Pink Floyd that begins, “We don’t need no education”. Good dialect, Ali. 😀 — Suzanne
LikeLike
Ha, yes! Unfortunately he’s learning the hard way that he does need an education 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!
LikeLike
Ouch… that dialect would make impression enough without the need to crush that vase…
LikeLike
Ha ha, you’re not wrong!
LikeLike
Why do I feel sad at such a funny guy telling his story? The dialect is perfect. I can actually hear him. The sighs, though, say a lot without any words or dialect.
LikeLike
I think his mum has heard this all before, poor woman. I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I beg your pardon? 😉
LikeLike
I don’t know what he said either 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha – you just transcribed his speech without understanding what he said. 😁
LikeLike
Yeah, pretty cool, huh? 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol!
Really loved this.
LikeLike
Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love the dialect in this. Plus I can see some body language. Perhaps a bit of shuffling, downcast eyes, a hip extended.
LikeLike
That’s him exactly!
LikeLike
Brilliant, the dialect was spot on! A great tale too!
Click to read my FriFic!
LikeLike
Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it!
Sorry, I don’t know why your comments always require approval before showing up 😦
LikeLike
Congrats on writing in that dialect.🙂
I feel bad for the mother and the boy too.
wonder how much advance would be needed this time.
LikeLike
The dialect required much re-reading and editing 🙂
I’m not sure how much a Ming vase costs but according to a quick Google search, anywhere between a hundred thousand and 53 million pounds should cover it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Ali
So’s I’m finking ‘great dialect’ innit? That boy needs some serious discipline. Doesn’t sound very remorseful. Good bit.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Dear Rochelle,
It’s not cool to sound remorseful. Maybe he feels guilty inside. The idiot 🙂
Ali
LikeLiked by 1 person
Being cool has a lot to answer for. Nice dialogue, Ali. Had to read it several times to get it all in.
LikeLike
I had to write it several times to get it all out! I’m glad you liked it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It talks like my English is…MOL 😀 Pawkisses for a Happy Weekend 🙂 ❤
LikeLike
Your English is way better than his 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
It took me a while to work out what the poor love was saying. I wouldn’t be sighing, I’d be throttling. Great story and characterisation – I don’t like the little tyke 🙂
LikeLike
He’s not very likeable, is he? Hopefully good sense and linguistic skills will come with time… 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah, kids!
LikeLike
What can you do, eh? 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hilarious! I laughed out loud at the phrase: … an dey’s like priceless Ming an I’s like wot like in Flash Gordon …
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
LikeLike
I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂 You’re the first person to mention Ming and Flash Gordon. It’s been a few years I guess!
LikeLike
Oh dear, I hope it’s not really Ming. It sounds like he needs sorting before too long, he’s a danger to himself.
LikeLike
It’s only a matter of time if he doesn’t sort himself out. I’m sure his heart’s in the right place…
LikeLiked by 1 person
To get the job I guess the person hiring him would have to understand what he says 😀
LikeLike
That would definitely be a good start 🙂 ‘Cos I have no idea.
LikeLike
Cool voice in this one.
LikeLike
Thanks, it took a while to get right!
LikeLiked by 1 person