Home > Fiction > FF – The Watchers

FF – The Watchers

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. The photo was contributed by Ted Strutz.

Copyright Ted Strutz

 

The camera sat forlornly on the hilltop, still pointed skywards. A small hamper and flask of hot soup sat nearby on a blanket, laid out in an attempt to afford the user some measure of protection against the damp grass. A book on astronomy lay open, pages fluttering in the breeze.

Molly trudged up the hill. “Harold? Harold? Where could he be, the old fool?”

Concentrating on the flask, the book, the camera, she didn’t notice the still-smoking pile of ash…

 

There are things. Up there. In the stars. And they don’t like being watched.

 

  1. March 14, 2018 at 8:50 pm

    See? I told you. Something similar happened in my story, too.

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 15, 2018 at 7:51 am

      Yes! My guy didn’t even get to check his photos before getting zapped.

      Like

  2. March 14, 2018 at 8:56 pm

    This is awesome!

    Like

    • March 15, 2018 at 7:51 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂 A departure from silly stories for a change.

      Like

  3. March 14, 2018 at 10:18 pm

    Watch the skies! Keep watching the skies!

    Like

    • March 15, 2018 at 7:55 am

      Yeah, you too could be a pile of ash!

      Like

  4. Dale
    March 14, 2018 at 11:05 pm

    Poor Harold!! Too many people are watching what they shouldn’t!

    Like

  5. March 15, 2018 at 12:01 am

    Oh, a pile of ash! Pretty creepy. Maybe I’ll stop star gazing.

    Like

    • March 15, 2018 at 7:56 am

      I would. No-one likes to be unexpectedly incinerated from orbit 🙂

      Like

  6. March 15, 2018 at 2:16 am

    Uh-oh. I hope Molly’s next move isn’t to gaze into the telescope to see what he was looking at!

    Like

  7. March 15, 2018 at 5:12 am

    I don’t think I’ll go stargazing for a while. This is really creepy, Ali. Good writing. O_o — Suzanne

    Like

    • March 15, 2018 at 7:57 am

      It can be very dangerous if you find yourself looking where you shouldn’t. I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. March 15, 2018 at 5:31 am

    OOooooooh

    Like

  9. Lyn
    March 15, 2018 at 7:15 am

    It’s the government…it’s always the government :/

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 15, 2018 at 7:59 am

      Ooh, you conspiracy theorist, you 🙂
      Who knows what they have floating around up there…

      Liked by 1 person

  10. March 15, 2018 at 10:21 am

    A new explanation for the phenomena of forked lightning!

    Like

    • March 15, 2018 at 4:11 pm

      And all this time we thought it was something to do with static in the clouds…

      Liked by 1 person

  11. March 15, 2018 at 12:20 pm

    Poor old Harold. At least it would be fast, eh? Nicely spun tale, Draliman

    Like

    • March 15, 2018 at 4:12 pm

      Yes, I’m guessing it’s just “zap, whoomp” 🙂
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  12. March 15, 2018 at 12:58 pm

    Well, then the aliens should just close the blinds, then! You can’t get mad at people for watching if you can be seen through the window at fifty light years away…

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 15, 2018 at 4:14 pm

      Other excuses include “honestly, officer, there was a squirrel on the tree in front of her bedroom window and I wanted a picture for my blog…”

      Liked by 1 person

  13. March 15, 2018 at 1:24 pm

    He kept telling them there was something up there.Get job!

    Like

  14. March 15, 2018 at 2:03 pm

    Ominous. Lovely read.

    Like

  15. March 15, 2018 at 2:13 pm

    Hahaha! Great story! Loved the ending!

    Like

  16. March 15, 2018 at 3:39 pm

    Oh no – the aliens smoked him! That’ll teach them. Take that lung cancer back to their leader they will. Yikes, that sounds a bit like Yoda. 😱 Regret this I will.

    Like

    • March 15, 2018 at 4:17 pm

      Wise in words, Yoda is. Assuredly their leader ill will become.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. March 15, 2018 at 4:27 pm

    Oh, dear! Closing the blinds! Great story! 🙂

    Like

    • March 15, 2018 at 4:47 pm

      Blinds or no, the aliens have decided to take action! I’m glad you liked it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  18. March 15, 2018 at 5:05 pm

    Yikes!

    Like

    • March 16, 2018 at 8:04 am

      I know, right? And when they read my blog they’ll know I know they’re up there…

      Liked by 1 person

      • March 16, 2018 at 6:36 pm

        Hehe, yep.

        Like

      • March 16, 2018 at 7:06 pm

        If I suddenly go all quiet, grab a dustpan and brush and tidy me up 😦

        Liked by 1 person

      • March 16, 2018 at 7:08 pm

        Yes, I will. Very respectively, might I add.

        Like

      • March 16, 2018 at 9:43 pm

        Aw, fanks 🙂

        Like

  19. March 15, 2018 at 6:05 pm

    If the flask held Mountain Dew, that could have been me. I think I should go back to putting tin foil hats on my guests? (I can’t wear the hat- It messes with the polarity of my camera… I tell the guests.>)

    Like

  20. March 15, 2018 at 6:59 pm

    he invaded their privacy. he had to pay for it.

    Like

  21. March 15, 2018 at 9:45 pm

    I like the way you work to make the scene mundane before introducing your aliens. Alas, I fear humans are the ones we need to worry about. Unstable, self-seeking and possessing a terrifying number of ways of killing each other.

    Like

    • March 16, 2018 at 8:07 am

      I’m glad you liked the lead-in.
      Yes, we are a violent bunch. Fear the murderous aliens, for they are us.

      Like

  22. March 16, 2018 at 4:49 am

    Yikes!
    That Harold, he was always smoking hot. I think I am going to be throwing my telescope in the bin now.

    Like

    • March 16, 2018 at 8:08 am

      I would. Just to be on the safe side.

      Like

  23. March 16, 2018 at 10:16 am

    A change of direction for you this week. I hope she doesn’t go looking through the camera, or stirring up the ashes.

    Like

    • March 16, 2018 at 1:12 pm

      Me too, nothing good would come of either.
      Unusually, as soon as I saw the picture I knew what was going on 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  24. March 16, 2018 at 11:56 am

    Dear Ali,

    Note to self: Be careful who you’re watching…you could make an ash of yourself.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 16, 2018 at 1:13 pm

      Dear Rochelle,
      Hee hee, very funny 🙂 And words to live by dum dum DUM…
      Ali

      Like

  25. March 16, 2018 at 12:00 pm

    Ooh nicely creepy! I like!

    Like

    • March 16, 2018 at 1:14 pm

      I’m too scared to watch the stars now. Just in case. Dammit 🙂
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  26. March 17, 2018 at 3:54 pm

    Oof! That was a sock in the gut! I wasn’t expecting it–very effective.

    Like

    • March 17, 2018 at 4:21 pm

      I’m glad you liked it! No, he wasn’t just taking a nap in the car 😦

      Liked by 1 person

  27. March 18, 2018 at 12:42 am

    I’m kind of glad I do my star watching with just my glasses on. 🙂

    Like

    • March 18, 2018 at 7:42 am

      That’s a lot safer, and there’s no photographic evidence 🙂

      Like

  28. March 18, 2018 at 12:42 am

    …….and clothes.

    Like

  29. March 18, 2018 at 1:46 am

    Oh no, innocently watching the wrong thing and before you know it you”re a pile of ash. Very enjoyable read! =)

    Like

    • March 18, 2018 at 7:44 am

      Little did he realise the danger of his hobby 😦
      I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Liked by 1 person

  30. March 18, 2018 at 5:39 am

    Creepy good story!

    Like

  31. March 18, 2018 at 7:54 pm

    They really don’t like being watched. I wonder if Molly will put two and two together, or will Harold become a mystery disappearance? Poor Molly!

    Like

    • March 19, 2018 at 8:19 am

      I just hope that Molly doesn’t take a look through the camera too!

      Liked by 1 person

  32. March 19, 2018 at 2:29 am

    zapped!

    and I like how you paced this and led us to the ending – some things do not like being watched for sure.,

    Like

  33. March 19, 2018 at 7:48 am

    Poor Harry…*gulp* Great story, Draliman! Pawkisses 🙂 ❤

    Like

    • March 19, 2018 at 8:22 am

      Poor Harry indeed. Let’s hope Molly doesn’t end up like him too 😦

      Liked by 1 person

  34. March 20, 2018 at 2:35 am

    I’ve always thought so. : (

    Like

  35. March 20, 2018 at 7:00 pm

    Like most of us 😀 Love the way you’ve told an awesome story practically just by describing a scene. You really are a master of flash fiction, my friend.

    Like

    • March 21, 2018 at 8:15 am

      Thanks for the lovely comment, and I’m glad you liked it 🙂

      Like

  36. March 20, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    Love the menacing last line. Great use of italics on the word ‘things’ – it somehow emphasises how utterly indescribable, and therefore alien, these ‘things’ are.

    Like

    • March 21, 2018 at 8:16 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you liked the italics there. That’s exactly what I was trying to portray.

      Liked by 1 person

  37. March 21, 2018 at 6:52 am

    What a great read!
    Wonderfully written, Draliman.

    Like

    • March 21, 2018 at 8:18 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂

      Like

  38. March 23, 2018 at 6:20 pm

    A gripping story – it starts so calmly, soup, rug, stargazing then BAM! Really gets the creeping mood . Well done

    Like

    • March 24, 2018 at 10:56 am

      I’ve almost scared myself into not stargazing 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

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