Home > Fiction > FF – Not to be Trifled With

FF – Not to be Trifled With

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Connie Gayer. After insulting Rochelle’s heirloom last week, I thought I’d leave Russell alone 🙂

Copyright Connie Gayer


“What’ya doin’, Bill?”

“Planting taters!”

“What fer?”

“Uncle Frank say he givin’ me a hun’red dollars fer doin’ it!”

“Wow! A hun’red dollars! You’ll be rich. Where’d he git so much?”

“Stole it off’a Aunt Vera, he tol’ me.”

“Whoa. Scary lady. Not ter be trifled wiv. Don’t you be gittin’ mixed up in it, Bill.”

“C’mon, what she gonna do? I kin buy a new bike, new shoes, everyfink!”

“Yeah, true. An’ it’ll be Uncle Frank she mad at, not you.”

“Hey, wos dis? Somefink’s in da hole!”

“Dig down!”

“Diggin’! Ooh…”

“Wos down dere?”

“Uncle Frank.”

“Well, shit.”


  1. May 30, 2018 at 8:12 pm

    Ha… I knew there would be a body buried. I would go back with the money… bike can wait


  2. May 30, 2018 at 10:04 pm

    Hilarious! Loved the vivid dialogue. Thanks for making me laugh.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos


    • May 31, 2018 at 7:31 am

      I’m glad it made you laugh and that you enjoyed it 🙂


  3. May 30, 2018 at 10:06 pm

    Oh, my! I certainly wasn’t expecting that! ha-ha Hilarious! 😀


    • May 31, 2018 at 7:31 am

      Neither was Uncle Frank, poor thieving fellow that he was 🙂
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. May 30, 2018 at 10:14 pm

    Dear Ali,

    Somefink indeed. You made me laugh. As for my heirloom, I wasn’t insulted. That’s what happens when you post a prompt. 😉 Personally I’m disappointed you didn’t go after Russell. I can’t fink of anyone more deserving. 😀



    Liked by 3 people

    • May 31, 2018 at 7:34 am

      Dear Rochelle,
      I’m glad you weren’t insulted – I got a bit worried when I read it had so much personal history attached to it!
      I’m sure someone will have done a “Russell” story. I’m glad you liked mine 🙂


  5. Merbear74
    May 30, 2018 at 11:47 pm

    Whoa, I did not see that coming! 🙂


    • May 31, 2018 at 7:34 am

      Poor disreputable dead Uncle Frank 🙂


  6. May 31, 2018 at 2:58 am

    That was fabulous dialogue, Alistair… I’m finking they should fergit about the money…


  7. May 31, 2018 at 3:47 am

    i don’t know if i should cry or feel sorry for uncle frank. 🙂


    • May 31, 2018 at 7:36 am

      I’m thinking he wasn’t such a bad soul and didn’t really deserve the wrong end of Aunt Vera’s cooking pot 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  8. May 31, 2018 at 6:19 am

    Maybe the $100 is still in his pocket, if the worms haven’t gotten to it yet. It wouldn’t hurt to check…


    • May 31, 2018 at 7:36 am

      Trust you to think about going through his pockets at a time like that… good idea, though. Shame for it to go to waste.


  9. May 31, 2018 at 7:49 am

    She’s growing an Uncle Frank tree obviously. Hilarious dialogue.

    Liked by 2 people

    • May 31, 2018 at 11:50 am

      Ha, possibly! I’m glad you liked it!


  10. May 31, 2018 at 12:18 pm

    Ha ha loved this! Great twist


    • May 31, 2018 at 3:53 pm

      Thanks, I’m glad you liked it! I wanted to call it “Finding Frank” but didn’t want to give the game away 🙂


  11. May 31, 2018 at 2:05 pm

    Love it – I could almost hear them chatting!

    Click to read my FriFic tale


  12. May 31, 2018 at 4:14 pm

    Ha, ha. I guess Aunt Vera was scarier than they thought. They better run and hide. 😀 — Suzanne


  13. May 31, 2018 at 7:24 pm

    Man, don’t mess with Aunt Vera! Fun take.


    • June 1, 2018 at 7:12 am

      She’s one scary lady. I’m glad you liked it!


  14. June 1, 2018 at 8:11 am

    I think they all have to watch out for aunty Vera…better dig another hole🙀🙊Pawkisses for a Happy Weekend 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  15. June 1, 2018 at 3:32 pm

    Great dialogue – the ending was perfect. Well done.


  16. June 1, 2018 at 6:45 pm

    Aunt Vera was really fed up with Uncle Frank then.


  17. Sarah Ann
    June 1, 2018 at 7:07 pm

    OMG, that was a surprise. Looks like Frank should have got Vera digging his potatoes in the first place. I wonder how much more he stole and how much of a pain he’s been all those years. Great little tale that leads us to wonder.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. June 1, 2018 at 9:32 pm

    Well, shit. Guess she won’t be mad at Uncle Frank. Or maybe she was really mad at him.


  19. June 1, 2018 at 9:50 pm

    Great twist at the end, very funny!


  20. June 2, 2018 at 9:18 am

    Ha! Ha! Great dialogue. I loved the voice you conjured up in this.

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 2, 2018 at 10:44 am

      Thanks! A bit tricky doing a dialect that isn’t your own.


  21. Jelli
    June 2, 2018 at 11:36 am

    Karma at it’s finest. well told!

    Liked by 1 person

  22. June 2, 2018 at 3:50 pm

    I loved the ending. It was bound to happen.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. June 2, 2018 at 5:15 pm

    love the dialect as I could feel the characters
    and surprise surprise –
    hoping it was oil


    • June 3, 2018 at 6:08 am

      That’s a good idea for another story! They’re celebrating being rich, meanwhile in the house the boiler has gone off… 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  24. June 2, 2018 at 7:31 pm

    I just knew he was going to find a former ‘shyster’ there. Enjoyed! I felt quite at home with your dialect play today.


  25. June 2, 2018 at 9:58 pm

    LOL…looks like Uncle Frank bit the dirt :/


  26. June 4, 2018 at 12:17 am

    Haha, entertaining and clever, as always!


  27. June 4, 2018 at 7:45 am

    I guess Bill won’t be getting his hundred dollars. Love the dialogue! The end is priceless! 😁


  28. June 4, 2018 at 8:44 am

    I love the hillbilly voices! And I didn’t expect the twist at the end. Nice story, Ali!


    • June 4, 2018 at 3:57 pm

      I’m glad you liked the voices and twist 🙂


  29. June 6, 2018 at 6:10 pm

    A characterful story – love the terse dialogue and the great last line- very funny.


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