Home > Fiction > FF – Perfect Town

FF – Perfect Town

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Ted Strutz.

I may be a little late reading stories this week as I’m very busy with work stuff so bear with me. I’m currently typing this on my personal laptop while running something on my work laptop while watching Luke Cage on Netflix. Multitasking is my thing πŸ™‚

Copyright Ted Strutz

 

Frankie smiled as he cast his eyes over the neighbourhood. Gardens, clean and tidy, The road, perfectly maintained, The pavements, pristine, clear of any litter. A small group of people stepping onto the pavement, going… where? To a restaurant, perhaps, or maybe to the marina? Frankie gazed down on his world and it was…

A shadow, falling! Crash! Crunch! Smash!

β€œOh, shit. Sorry, kid.”

β€œDaaaaaad, that was my class project! The perfect town!”

β€œDon’t worry, son. Grab some papier mache and baking soda, I’ll show you how to make a cool volcano!”

β€œAw, hell.”

 

  1. July 25, 2018 at 7:24 pm

    Ha. Great.

    Like

  2. July 25, 2018 at 7:31 pm

    The volcano will be much more fun!

    Liked by 1 person

    • July 26, 2018 at 5:25 am

      Shame every second kid’s project will be a “working” volcano πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  3. July 25, 2018 at 8:00 pm

    I have an idea… combine them, a perfect town wrecked by a volcano…

    Like

  4. July 25, 2018 at 8:20 pm

    Someone always has to come along and ruin the perfect town, real or model.

    Like

  5. July 25, 2018 at 9:13 pm

    Dear Ali,

    I don’t think Dad’s volcano is what Frankie wanted for his town. Good one.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • July 26, 2018 at 5:29 am

      Dear Rochelle,
      I think you’re right. From what I’ve seen on American TV programmes with “science fairs” in, there are always at least ten volcanoes! And his town was not supposed to be buried in “lava”.
      Ali

      Like

  6. July 25, 2018 at 9:26 pm

    ha-ha-ha! I wasn’t expecting that! Good one! πŸ˜€

    Like

  7. July 25, 2018 at 10:12 pm

    Oops.

    Like

  8. July 26, 2018 at 12:50 am

    Ah hell…. after all that work!

    Like

    • July 26, 2018 at 5:30 am

      It certainly doesn’t look like something he whipped up overnight πŸ™‚ Didn’t take long to wreck it, though. Isn’t that always the way…

      Liked by 1 person

  9. July 26, 2018 at 1:22 am

    You had me going. I thought here’s the town busybody, micromanaging every space. He didnt seem all that happy iwith people clutter up his tidy sidewalks. Then a crash. I like him much better as a dad!

    Like

    • July 26, 2018 at 5:32 am

      I glad I managed to lead you down the wrong path (before dad squashed it) πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  10. July 26, 2018 at 3:09 am

    Just get him a model of Godzilla, place it in the midst of the destruction: bam!

    Like

    • July 26, 2018 at 5:33 am

      Good thinking. It’ll be the talk of the science fair!

      Like

  11. July 26, 2018 at 7:15 am

    I don’t think the volcano’s quite going to cut it for the young lad. But sounds like Dad will enjoy himself.

    Like

    • July 26, 2018 at 1:45 pm

      These class projects, it’s all about the parents!

      Like

  12. July 26, 2018 at 8:00 am

    Such a great twisty story – Dad’s got some making good to do in more ways than one!

    Like

    • July 26, 2018 at 1:46 pm

      He does indeed. And the volcano isn’t going to do the trick, I think!

      Like

  13. July 26, 2018 at 10:29 am

    Poor Frankie. It looks like dad isn’t the artistic type. The next time he’ll know better than to get his project anywhere near that parent. Good story, Ali. πŸ˜€ — Suzanne

    Like

    • July 26, 2018 at 1:47 pm

      I guess many parents help their children with their projects, this poor kid spends all his time trying to protect his from his dad πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  14. July 26, 2018 at 1:18 pm

    “Stopover In A Quiet Town,” one of my favorite Twilight Zone episodes… and the only one that features a squirrel. Wait a minute! There were no squirrels in this project! Ergo, this was NOT the perfect town. The volcano will get a much better grade… especially if they’re scraping the lava off the classroom ceiling…

    Like

    • July 26, 2018 at 1:48 pm

      Maybe it can feature a squirrel trying to escape the boiling lava…

      Like

  15. July 26, 2018 at 2:56 pm

    Bwahahaha. πŸ™‚

    Like

    • July 27, 2018 at 7:10 am

      He probably stayed up all night finishing that πŸ™‚

      Like

  16. July 26, 2018 at 3:17 pm

    Loved reading between the lines. Great write.

    Like

  17. July 26, 2018 at 3:33 pm

    That made me chuckle! Poor Frankie. I feel his pain. Your last line sums it up perfectly!

    Like

    • July 27, 2018 at 7:11 am

      All his hard work. I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  18. July 26, 2018 at 6:54 pm

    i don’t think a volcano would do. nice try, dad. πŸ™‚

    Like

  19. July 27, 2018 at 9:31 am

    Looks like the kid is smarter than his dad!

    Like

  20. July 27, 2018 at 5:57 pm

    Loved it!😍

    Like

  21. July 27, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    Don’t you just cringe when that happens.

    Like

  22. July 27, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    Whoops! Dad needs to move faster than fast!

    Like

    • July 27, 2018 at 8:01 pm

      Never mind, I’m sure it only took him several weeks with barely any sleep to create his masterpiece, no harm done πŸ™‚

      Like

  23. July 28, 2018 at 10:29 am

    Looks like a solid plan B to me πŸ˜‰

    Like

    • July 29, 2018 at 5:24 am

      It’s either that or knock up a quick papier mache Godzilla πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      • July 29, 2018 at 9:17 pm

        My friend’s brother (Salt Lake City) created a huge Halloween decoration, including King Kong πŸ™‚ You can google.

        Like

      • July 31, 2018 at 7:17 pm

        Amon Smith? Wow!

        Liked by 1 person

      • August 1, 2018 at 11:31 am

        Yes he is so cool πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  24. July 28, 2018 at 3:05 pm

    Poor Frankie – he was so proud of his town! Building a volcano is really fun, though. Speaking of fun, this was a fun take on the prompt.

    Like

    • July 29, 2018 at 5:31 am

      And rightly proud! I never did made a volcano. “Science fairs” were never a thing over here. I missed out 😦

      Liked by 1 person

      • July 29, 2018 at 6:08 pm

        You could still make a volcano just for the heck of it. πŸ˜‰

        Like

  25. July 28, 2018 at 3:19 pm

    Is Frankie’s dad naturally clumsy? Poor Frankie. I think he should stand over Dad and make him rebuild perfect town. Sod the volcano.

    Like

    • July 29, 2018 at 5:32 am

      I think so too. Every second kid’s going to turn up with a volcano.

      Liked by 1 person

  26. July 28, 2018 at 11:54 pm

    This photo kind of does look like a diorama of a perfect little town doesn’t it? This photo now would be full of tourists. They descend in May and leave by October, this photo was taken sometime before May.

    I like what you did with your story as it makes me picture the father and then the son.

    Like

    • July 29, 2018 at 5:44 am

      I thought it looked so perfect it could only be a model! We have the same tourist “problem” here too – the volume of cars on the road ends up at about three times higher during school summer holidays (now).
      I’m glad you enjoyed my story!

      Like

  27. July 29, 2018 at 1:32 am

    That was a good twist. Poor Frankie. He should cover it up with dirt and call it Pompeii. And maybe take the volcano for bonus points.

    Like

    • July 29, 2018 at 5:44 am

      That’s a good idea! Two for one. Make the best of it πŸ™‚

      Like

  28. July 30, 2018 at 2:06 am

    LOL…great dialogue!

    Like

  29. July 30, 2018 at 1:36 pm

    Poor kid. That overworked volcano is no match for what he had created.

    Like

  30. August 7, 2018 at 1:42 pm

    Oh dear… all that hard work just to have his perfect town smashed. Not sure a volcano would impress his teacher, but it would be fun to make and get to work. His marks for the perfect town could be disappointingly low, however. 😦 A fun read. πŸ˜€

    Like

    • August 7, 2018 at 6:36 pm

      Everyone seems to bring a volcano so his will be one among many I expect. I’m glad you liked it πŸ™‚

      Like

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