Home > Fiction > FF – Hors d’oeuvres

FF – Hors d’oeuvres

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by J Hardy Carroll.

I had no time today to even think of a story and was beginning to panic, but fortunately this occurred to me on the way home, thinking of that strange thing at the upstairs window…

Copyright J Hardy Carroll


“A beautiful location, miles from anywhere.”

“It is beautiful!”

“Notice the brickwork, the original windows…”

“Oh my, yes! And what’s that up there, it looks like OH MY GOD IT’S A SEVERED HEAD!”

“No, no, of course it’s not…”


“I’m sure it’s just left over from Halloween.”

“SEVERED… do you really think so?”

“Realistic but clearly fake.”

“Oh, I feel so silly!”

“Nonsense, not at all. Listen, the owners are friends of mine. I’m sure they’d love to… have you for dinner.”

“Oh, lovely! Will there be hors d’oeuvre?”

“Lady, you are the… um, yes.”



  1. February 13, 2019 at 7:57 pm

    Oh dear, she walked right into that one!


  2. February 13, 2019 at 8:14 pm

    One of your best! She’ll be served with fava beans and a nice chianti! 😀


    • February 14, 2019 at 7:34 am

      I’d love to recreate that thing Anthony Hopkins does with his mouth at this point but I have no idea how to type it 🙂
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. February 13, 2019 at 8:30 pm

    Oh dear…Poor lady so easily swayed… and served, apparently…


  4. February 13, 2019 at 9:21 pm

    Yikes! Run! 🙂

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos


  5. February 13, 2019 at 9:26 pm

    Can I skip the wine and have a beer please? With a nice head on it!


  6. February 13, 2019 at 9:56 pm

    Any idea what that object actually is? I have no idea. Have an excellent rest of the week!

    Neil Scheinin


  7. February 13, 2019 at 10:18 pm

    Yeah, when someone tells me that they’d love to have me for dinner, I politely refuse the invitation….


    • February 14, 2019 at 7:38 am

      Very wise. People should be more careful with their phrasing…

      Liked by 1 person

  8. February 13, 2019 at 10:53 pm

    She should have run with the first cry of “SEVERED HEAD”


    • February 14, 2019 at 7:39 am

      That was certainly her first mistake!


  9. February 14, 2019 at 7:45 am

    Oh my goodness, still laughing. You are very witty especially for a spur of the moment story! 🙂


    • February 14, 2019 at 8:01 am

      I’m glad you liked it! I usually just need an idea to get me going, that’s the tricky bit 🙂


      • February 14, 2019 at 10:45 am

        Lately I’ve started a notebook on story ideas to draw from. It is the most tricky part. =)


      • February 14, 2019 at 4:37 pm

        I wish I was that organised. All I can ever remember the next day was that I had a great idea, I wonder what it was… 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • February 14, 2019 at 4:50 pm

        No!! You need a notebook too (haha).

        Liked by 1 person

  10. February 14, 2019 at 8:49 am

    Dark humour, made me grin


  11. February 14, 2019 at 9:21 am

    I don’t know how you come up witht these on the spur of the moment.


    • February 14, 2019 at 4:36 pm

      Once I saw the severed head, there were a million possibilities!
      Comedy dialogue is (for me, anyway) much easier and faster than clever in-depth stuff 🙂


  12. February 14, 2019 at 10:07 am

    I like the way you shock us with “SEVERED HEAD!”, calm us down again, and then sneakily introduce cannibalism. Nicely done!


    • February 14, 2019 at 4:36 pm

      It was a real rollercoaster! I’m glad you liked it 🙂


  13. February 14, 2019 at 11:39 am

    I wonder who’s for dessert? Nice one


    • February 14, 2019 at 4:37 pm

      That approaching hiker is looking pretty good…
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  14. February 14, 2019 at 1:07 pm

    Hehehe, poor woman, she should have run right away. Now it’s too late. Great fun, I love it.


  15. February 14, 2019 at 2:37 pm

    Good one! Really good one! Poor woman, too dense to realize she’s the appetizer. hehe!


    • February 14, 2019 at 4:40 pm

      Hopefully they’ll at least give a nice glass of wine first 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Liked by 1 person

  16. February 14, 2019 at 6:21 pm

    Gack! Run!!!! Oops. Too late. Love this one, although I’m glad I’m not her.


    • February 14, 2019 at 7:32 pm

      I’m sure if you were her, you would have run!


  17. February 14, 2019 at 8:50 pm

    Dear Ali,

    Oops. Guess who’s coming to dinner? Leave it to you to turn the prompt on its ear. Well done. Gotta go now, can’t stay for the hors-doeuvres. 😉




    • February 15, 2019 at 9:01 pm

      Dear Rochelle,
      A lot of people reckoned it was a hornets’ nest, but I know the chilling truth 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!


  18. February 14, 2019 at 10:02 pm

    Yikes! She better run. I was laughing all the way through.


  19. February 14, 2019 at 10:43 pm

    well, i guess it’s too late to save herself. she might as well enjoy the ride. 🙂


  20. February 15, 2019 at 7:42 am

    A lovely literary martini with a twist. 🙂
    So many of these prompts seem to bring out the murders among us. I’m not sure I’d want to meet any of us in a dark alley – or dining room. 😉


    • February 15, 2019 at 9:02 pm

      We are a pretty scary bunch, it’s true 🙂


  21. February 15, 2019 at 12:35 pm

    I think I’d quickly find another appointment. Creepy. O_o — Suzanne


    • February 15, 2019 at 9:02 pm

      I fear it may be too late… 🙂


  22. February 15, 2019 at 6:59 pm

    What a waste! If you’re going to eat a person, you should eat the whole thing and not just throw the head out to be pecked at by the birds…

    This also reminded me of a story my Dad would always tell me and my sisters when we were kids. There was a gas (petrol) station in town that had a plastic head of a bald man with a mustache that sat in the front window… for what reason, I can’t explain. But he always told us every time we drove by it that head belonged to someone who tried to drive off without paying for their gas. Like with Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, we believed it because Dad would never lie to us! It really took a loooong time for me to finally convince myself he’d made up that story!


    • February 15, 2019 at 9:03 pm

      I bet you always paid for your petrol, though!
      Hey, the birds get to eat too…


  23. February 16, 2019 at 12:29 am



  24. February 16, 2019 at 1:15 am

    She should have run at “severed head!” Good story!


  25. February 16, 2019 at 7:20 am

    Great dialogue. Love the loopy lady. Fun story.


  26. February 17, 2019 at 11:13 am

    First, she’s jumping to conclusions by yelling “severed head” repeatedly, and then she’s easily persuaded that it’s fake, and finally, she agrees to be eaten! She certainly doesn’t have a good head on her shoulders. 😉


    • February 17, 2019 at 5:19 pm

      Not for much longer anyway heh heh 🙂


  27. February 17, 2019 at 8:31 pm

    Yeah, serious case of scrambled brain going on here. She was way too easily convinced.


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