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FF – Ancient Secret

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by J. Hardy Carroll.

Copyright J. Hardy Carroll

 

Lost to the ages, three men set out to re-discover… The Secret.

 

“Brock, this is it, it must be! An ancient storage facility… deep underground… it all fits!”

“Careful, Chad, remember what the boss said about booby traps.”

“Nonsense! The Colonel wasn’t so clever. I’m opening…”

KABLOOIE!

“What was that? Where’s Chad?”

“Um… over there. And over there. And up there. He got impatient. You might say he lost his head. Get it? Hahaha!”

“…”

“Too soon?”

“Dammit! The recipe! The Colonel’s special recipe! Blown to bits! Nooooo!”

 

And so, lost forever, chicken was never quite as finger-lickin’ good again.

 

  1. November 20, 2019 at 6:03 pm

    I don’t know how you made something so gruesome so funny 🙂

    Like

  2. November 20, 2019 at 7:16 pm

    Oh yes!

    What’s the past participle of Kablooie?

    Like

  3. November 20, 2019 at 7:26 pm

    HAHAHA! The Secret went up in smoke 😀

    Like

    • November 21, 2019 at 7:24 am

      Sadly, yes. It was a secret mix of herbs and spices too. We’ll never recreate it 🙂

      Like

  4. November 20, 2019 at 7:27 pm

    Damn! That Colonel was serious about keeping his secret. Or was Chad a secret ingredient?

    Like

  5. November 20, 2019 at 7:52 pm

    Dear Ali,

    Are you sure you spelled Kablooie correctly? Oh no! Not the Colonel’s special recipe!!! Fun stuff…except for the part about Chad being blown apart.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • November 21, 2019 at 7:28 am

      Dear Rochelle,
      Yes, poor Chad. And poor secret recipe, gone forever.
      According to Mirriam-Webster, that the “less common” spelling. Though it’s the only one I’ve ever seen (I think that’s the spelling Calvin and Hobbes uses).
      Ali

      Like

  6. November 20, 2019 at 8:11 pm

    What a loss to the world! MacDonalds it is from now on then.

    Like

  7. November 20, 2019 at 9:25 pm

    Oh no! Horrible outcome for poor Chad, and yet I still laughed.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Like

  8. November 21, 2019 at 12:23 am

    “The Colonel” was never in such an adventure before. I hope to see him in more 🙂

    Like

    • November 21, 2019 at 7:41 am

      The Colonel is long gone, as is his recipe now… I often wonder if there really is/was a “Colonel” in charge of KFC. I’ll have to Google it!

      Liked by 1 person

      • November 22, 2019 at 12:48 am

        I know they had some dude who said he was the colonel in the commercials, but that doesn’t mean anything…

        Liked by 1 person

  9. November 21, 2019 at 1:55 am

    hmmm …
    I’m considering veganism … 😉

    Like

  10. November 21, 2019 at 8:37 am

    Men should have paid attention to Colonel’s warning. Now they have to pay with their health.

    Like

    • November 21, 2019 at 5:28 pm

      Yeah. No more finger-lickin’ chicken for these dudes.

      Like

  11. November 21, 2019 at 1:44 pm

    I think explosions ARE the secret recipe. I have similar explosions after eating KFC…

    Like

    • November 21, 2019 at 5:28 pm

      But it’s tasty at the time…

      Like

  12. November 21, 2019 at 6:34 pm

    Haha! I was just there last week! All 11 secret herbs and spices, gone forever! NO!!!

    Like

    • November 22, 2019 at 6:08 am

      You were there last week? Did you get any clues as to the secret recipe? Even one of the herbs or spices will help us recreate it 🙂

      Like

  13. November 21, 2019 at 8:44 pm

    You are so bad!
    And so am I, as I am laughing here!

    Like

    • November 22, 2019 at 6:12 am

      Chad would be pleased to know that his legacy is one of laughter 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • November 22, 2019 at 6:18 am

        I’m glad to hear that 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  14. November 21, 2019 at 9:28 pm

    heheeh, that was a bit funny. sick funny, but funny. Long live fried Chicken! I guess we now know where the idea of nuggets arose. heheh!

    Like

  15. November 21, 2019 at 9:51 pm

    ah, just another case of curiousity killing the cat and everything held dear. 🙂

    Like

    • November 22, 2019 at 6:19 am

      Yes, never mind about Chad, it’s the loss of the special blend of herbs and spices that’s the real tragedy 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  16. November 21, 2019 at 10:43 pm

    Well, he was forewarned after-all. Gruesome and funny at the same time. Well-done! =)

    Like

  17. November 22, 2019 at 2:00 am

    KABLOOIE! I love that term!

    Like

    • November 22, 2019 at 6:27 am

      Me too, ever since I first saw it in Calvin and Hobbes!

      Like

  18. November 22, 2019 at 10:05 am

    Horror and humour! Excellent.

    Here’s my tale!

    Like

  19. November 22, 2019 at 10:58 am

    Bloodthirsty and funny, Ali — great story.

    Like

    • November 22, 2019 at 1:58 pm

      I always find bloodthirsty to be quite funny 🙂

      Like

  20. November 22, 2019 at 2:04 pm

    Comical and enjoyable, it reminds me of a cartoon sketch.

    Like

    • November 22, 2019 at 2:12 pm

      Thanks! Yes, it could be South Park or something. Cartman would be the insensitive one, and Chad’s obviously Kenny!

      Liked by 1 person

  21. November 23, 2019 at 6:49 am

    I kept seeing The Goonies in my head!
    Fun.

    Like

    • November 23, 2019 at 12:16 pm

      Ha! I don’t remember it being quite so gory, though! Must be the director’s cut 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  22. November 24, 2019 at 5:36 pm

    I thought you’d made up KABLOUIE until I looked it up. Sounds a heck of a lot better than SPLAT. 😉

    Like

  23. November 24, 2019 at 8:16 pm

    Maybe it was for the greater good… now we can finally find a new favorite food… but what will the president say.

    Like

    • November 26, 2019 at 7:36 pm

      I’m sure he’ll be most upset. Expect a strongly-worded tweet imminently!

      Like

  24. November 26, 2019 at 12:33 am

    What a sad story! 😉

    Like

  25. November 27, 2019 at 1:45 am

    Ewwww 😀

    Like

  26. November 27, 2019 at 11:48 am

    You’ve done it again, Ali. Dark humor seems to be your specialty. 😀 — Suzanne

    Like

  27. November 27, 2019 at 11:53 am

    Another treasure lost in history, just like the Mayan Opossum stew.

    Like

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