Home > Fiction > FF – Wear a White Hat

FF – Wear a White Hat

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Jennifer Pendergast back in April 2015.

This week I used lots of “tham thars” to add an authentic Wild West feel. I hope I didn’t overdo it πŸ˜‰

If you want to read a more sensible tale, here’s the story I wrote back in the day.


β€œQuick, Jed, through tham thar railroad cars an’ inta that thar desert!”


β€œThey’s gettin’ closer, Herb!”

β€œShuddup an’ run, Jed! Darn, I’m right regretting tham thar grits I β€˜ad fer breakfast, all this runnin’.”

β€œQuit bellyachin’, them varmints is a-comin’ closer!”


β€œWhy they shootin’ at us, Herb? We ain’t done nothin’ wrong!”

β€œI tol’ ya, ya shouldn’t’a bought that thar black hat. I bet in years ta come, bad folks’ll be wearing tham thar black hats in them new-fangled movin’ pictures. Yer ahead-a yer time!”

“Yer red shirt ain’t helpin’!”


Splat ☹


  1. August 5, 2020 at 6:50 pm

    Why didn’t they hide in the mall?

    Liked by 1 person

    • August 6, 2020 at 5:01 am

      If only it had been built already! Maybe the developer is one of the shooters, “cleansing” the area…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. August 5, 2020 at 6:57 pm

    I know I shouldn’t laugh so much at the “splat” but it’s just too funny! πŸ˜€


  3. August 5, 2020 at 7:19 pm

    To complete the effect, each of those shots that missed hit a possum…


  4. August 5, 2020 at 7:40 pm

    Oy. Which one got splatted?


  5. August 5, 2020 at 8:43 pm

    A bit like Clark Kent and his glasses disguise, how could no one ever figure out who the bad cowboys were right at the start of those westerns?! Good fun.


    • August 6, 2020 at 5:04 am

      It’s not hard, people! Until someone makes a poor fashion choice…

      Liked by 1 person

  6. August 5, 2020 at 9:08 pm

    I think I’ll need a translation on this one. First of all, what’s “thar”?


    • August 6, 2020 at 5:06 am

      “Tham thar” is kinda like “those”. “thar” is sort of “there” πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  7. August 5, 2020 at 9:48 pm

    There mighta been three or four too many them thars… But that didn’t stop me from enjoying this none


  8. August 6, 2020 at 2:17 am

    Oh…that splat caught me by surprise. 😦


  9. August 6, 2020 at 8:59 am

    Reblogged this on Musings on Life & Experience and commented:
    Yep. Two articles of clothing you shouldn’t wear if you want to live longer. Too bad boys. 😦 — Suzanne


  10. August 6, 2020 at 9:08 am

    Glad he lived to tell the tale πŸ™‚


  11. August 6, 2020 at 11:11 am

    That didn’t end well. πŸ˜‰


  12. August 6, 2020 at 11:36 am

    Dear Ali,

    I did enjoy that thar story y’all wrote. However they didn’t drop h’s in the Wild West. πŸ˜‰ I can see where a red shirt might cause a problem. Fun stuff. Glad you’re still aboard after all these years.

    Shalom y’all,



    • August 6, 2020 at 1:12 pm

      Dear Rochelle,
      I had trouble at times not writing in a Cornish “accent”! We drop h’s πŸ™‚
      Black hat and red shirt – what a pair!


  13. August 6, 2020 at 12:54 pm

    Far too many sensible tales this week! This is just what I needed to read.

    Here’s mine!


  14. August 6, 2020 at 1:34 pm

    This story goes great with my new binge show- The Beverly Hillbillies.


  15. August 6, 2020 at 6:04 pm

    clothes do make a man. πŸ™‚


  16. August 6, 2020 at 6:53 pm

    Wow! Things degenerated pretty quickly! Well-done.


  17. August 6, 2020 at 10:36 pm

    You could title this The Black Hat Prophesy. Well done. Funny….very!


  18. Lyn
    August 6, 2020 at 11:56 pm

    LOL I knew there had to be a darn “splat” in that there tale. πŸ˜€


  19. August 7, 2020 at 1:01 am

    Red shirt, eh? Well, oy. Splat.


  20. Mer O'Leary
    August 7, 2020 at 2:05 am

    Them thar movin’ pictures. πŸ˜‚


  21. August 7, 2020 at 4:01 am

    Too stupid to live… haha. A strangely satisfying story.


  22. August 8, 2020 at 9:36 am

    that’s what dam movies are for, stereotypical characters. He should have wore a white hat.


  23. August 8, 2020 at 1:33 pm

    There’s gold in them thar dialogue πŸ˜‰


  24. August 8, 2020 at 4:41 pm

    Dammit, Butch, who are those guys? Just shut up and run, Sundance. πŸ˜€


    • August 9, 2020 at 6:09 am

      Running’s always a good plan πŸ™‚


  25. August 8, 2020 at 7:26 pm

    Black hats and red shirts, oh my.


  26. August 9, 2020 at 10:06 am

    Somehow I knew this was going to go splat.


    • August 10, 2020 at 3:56 pm

      I have become predictable in my old age πŸ™‚


  27. August 9, 2020 at 5:41 pm

    I knew red shirts were bad on Star Trek. I didn’t know it went all the way back to western.


  28. August 10, 2020 at 10:05 am

    An entertaining story Ali. I remember tv Westerns, the ‘baddies’ in black hats, ‘goodies’ in white hats, in case you lost the plot and couldn’t remember who was who !


    • August 10, 2020 at 4:05 pm

      Yes, it was so “black and white” back then, heroes were heroes and baddies were bad through and through!


  29. August 18, 2020 at 8:05 pm

    Love the sound effects. 😁


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