Home > Fiction > FF – Rated PG

FF – Rated PG

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Brenda Cox.

Copyright Brenda Cox


“We’re here!”

“Why do portals always seem to spit people out in anonymous deserted alleys with foreign writing?”

“It is the way of things. Look, there they are! Take cover!”

Rat-a-tat-a-tat! Bang! Whizz! Pee-ow! Bang! Bang! Rat-a-tat! Hail of bullets! Ka-blam! Rat-a-tat!

“They’re not very good shots, are they?”

“No. They’ve destroyed everything except us. Seems unlikely. Wait a minute…”


“Just checking. Ah. I suspected as much.”


“We’re rated ‘PG’.”

“’PG’? Oh, man.”

“Yeah. If I can’t grin evilly while snapping someone’s neck I’m not interested.”

“Me neither. I want blood and gore. Let’s portal home.”



  1. April 7, 2021 at 4:04 pm

    This is good fun. Well done.


  2. April 7, 2021 at 4:15 pm

    HAHAHA! Your mind is wondrous thing! If there isn’t enough neck-snapping, it’s not worth watching. 😀


  3. April 7, 2021 at 4:42 pm

    Nothing worse than being a PG character in a U film


  4. April 7, 2021 at 4:52 pm

    Blasted rating system, and being applied to holiday experiences now!


    • April 8, 2021 at 7:46 am

      I wonder if the virtual holidays in “Total Recall” allowed you to choose your holiday rating?

      Liked by 1 person

  5. April 7, 2021 at 5:45 pm

    Yep, unless PG stands for “Present Gore,” I’m not interested. I love “Hail of bullets!” as a sound effect.


    • April 8, 2021 at 7:48 am

      I thought “hail of bullets” said it all… 😉


  6. April 7, 2021 at 5:55 pm

    You know I’ve fantasized about many places I’ll visit when time travel becomes reality. Into the middle of a PG movie was not one of them. Enjoyable inventive creativity in this story.


    • April 8, 2021 at 7:52 am

      Well, a 15 or 18 cert might be more action-packed, but a lot more dangerous. Maybe go for a 12/12A 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • April 8, 2021 at 2:39 pm

        I don’t know what those are?


        • April 9, 2021 at 7:38 am

          Sorry, 12/15/18 – suitable for persons aged 12/15/18 or over. 12A means if you’re under 12 you can enter if accompanied by an adult 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

  7. April 7, 2021 at 6:12 pm

    It’s good to see the Korean language at the shopping alley. But the funny sound of the words made me laugh.


  8. April 7, 2021 at 6:28 pm

    Yes they need a little graphic to make it worth their while~


  9. April 7, 2021 at 7:30 pm

    That was a funny one. Definitely not what I expected when the spit hit the spam and bullets started raining down. Good one.


  10. GHLearner
    April 7, 2021 at 10:32 pm

    Time-travelling fictional blood-thirsty characters. Priceless.


    • April 8, 2021 at 8:02 am

      They’ll find a higher rating if they jump enough times, I’m sure 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  11. April 8, 2021 at 2:12 am

    Can’t say that I blame them! It’s hard being underrated.


  12. April 8, 2021 at 5:08 am

    Tsk tsk tsk, PG. Time for an expansion pack.


  13. April 8, 2021 at 8:33 am

    Good fun, as always.


  14. April 8, 2021 at 1:11 pm

    They could have dropped themselves into an X movie. Would have been a whole lot more fun than snapping some necks….


    • April 9, 2021 at 7:35 am

      For sure! Maybe an X-rated James Bond type thing where they can do both…


  15. April 8, 2021 at 10:03 pm

    i don’t know what to say but wish them luck next time. 🙂


    • April 9, 2021 at 7:39 am

      Yes, maybe they’ll get a full-on action one next time. And get killed 😮

      Liked by 1 person

  16. April 8, 2021 at 11:13 pm

    PG is no way to have fun. Who knew? lol


    • April 9, 2021 at 7:40 am

      It’s okay for a comedy but for action you need at least a 15 cert 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  17. April 9, 2021 at 9:37 am

    Made me laugh. there are so many films where the action just goes on and on and on but the never run out of bullets.


  18. April 9, 2021 at 11:37 am

    Lol! The shooters sound like they’re storm troopers, but the PG rating explains it. Funny story, Ali! 🙂


    • April 10, 2021 at 4:47 am

      Ha, yes, I always find it funny that in A New Hope when they find the dead Jawas Obi Wan mentions that only Imperial storm troopers are so precise, but thereafter they don’t seem to be able to hit anything!

      Liked by 1 person

  19. April 9, 2021 at 1:42 pm

    This is really fun! Thanks for the big smile!


  20. April 9, 2021 at 2:14 pm

    Brilliant Ali, a bit of a wasted trip!


  21. April 9, 2021 at 2:35 pm

    Dear Ali

    It doesn’t sound like where they came from is much better than where they landed. Fun stuff.




    • April 10, 2021 at 4:51 am

      Dear Rochelle,
      They’re not having much luck a the moment. They should be thankful they’re in a PG with all those bullets!


  22. April 9, 2021 at 4:57 pm

    That was fun! And such a good take – portalling into a film, and a PG one at that. And the gradual reveal of what was happening – great! Love it.


    • April 10, 2021 at 4:52 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you liked it! They were hoping for a bit more realism 🙂


  23. April 10, 2021 at 11:18 am

    Now that’s a real alternative reality! I wonder how you tell when you get back to real reality? Great take on the prompt, Ali


  24. April 10, 2021 at 4:06 pm

    Clever story line, I love the twist from criminals to film criminals. Inventive take.


    • April 11, 2021 at 4:58 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it!


  25. April 11, 2021 at 7:25 pm

    Made me laugh!


  26. April 12, 2021 at 2:33 pm

    Ha! Ha! Should have picked up some takeaway before’ portaling’ back.


    • April 13, 2021 at 4:56 am

      Might as well have got something out of the trip 🙂


  27. April 14, 2021 at 1:16 pm

    They prefer blood and gore even if it’s their own. Methinks they didn’t quite think this through…


    • April 15, 2021 at 6:48 am

      No, they’ll be glad of the PG if they end up in an 18 next…

      Liked by 1 person

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  1. April 12, 2021 at 3:02 am

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