FF – Unwanted
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Lisa Fox.
“Open your eyes, darling! Ta-daaa!”
“And that is?”
“It’s an original 1914 Harley-Davidson!”
“Okaaaaay…”
“Original frame, engine, fittings, look at this bit, oops, I can probably stick that bit back on…”
“…”
“… look at the style, the form…”
“…”
“… it’s an absolute classic! A bit of a rub down, a lick of paint and it’ll be as good as new!”
“…”
“Just imagine zooming down the road, my sweet. You’ll be the talk of the town!”
“…”
“Anyway… happy anniversary, my cupcake! So, what did you get me?”
“A divorce.”
Categories: Fiction
flash fiction, Friday Fictioneers
Sorry, I shouldn’t laugh because someone is getting BURNED!! But it’s funny. It’s sort of like a short story by O’Henry.
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Laugh away, anyone who thinks that’s a suitable anniversary gift is asking for it 🙂
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I can see why
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Yep.
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LOL! Oh, dear! That’s rather harsh. He could have fixed it up and sold it for a tidy sum.
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I think he’ll be having plenty of time to do just that real soon.
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He could have. He’ll have plenty of time now!
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What a gift!
Surprise ending.
My Story-The Key House
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A fantastic gift! I think she was hoping for something a little more personal and romantic though 🙂
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He’ll have more time to work on the Harley!
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Every cloud and all that!
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Ungrateful ….. !
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I know, right? After twenty years of marriage, who wouldn’t want a rusted-through pile of junk for their anniversary? 🙂
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I never got that far but I’m sure you’re right!
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Hehehe. If he ever finds another partner, he better take a bit more interest in her likes and dislikes.
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Somehow I doubt he has learned his lesson!
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Haha 😂
I couldn’t help but laugh over this
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I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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My pleasure 😃
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That’s hilarious! A wonderful example of great dialogue, well done!
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Thanks, you’ve probably noticed that dialogue is my go-to 🙂
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Yes and you make a great story from it too. I don’t mind admitting my dialogue sucks in comparison. I don’t seem to be able to make it realistic. So, my characters just say what they need and thats it really.
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Oh, dear. This is not going to be a happy anniversary, is it?
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No. It’s not 😦
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It’s funny but not really for the receiver. Same deal when a husband buys his wife housecleaning objects when she’s looking for a day at the spa or the like. Some would be happy to get anything at all, but that’s the wild and wacky world of human relationships.
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She’ll probably get the bike in the settlement, too….
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Haha, she’s stuck with it either way…
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Well, as folks are saying, he’ll have more time to spend fixing up the Harley. Probably not ideally suited for each other.
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I reckon he’ll be so engrossed in fixing up the bike he’ll hardly even notice she’s not there. Until his tea fails to materialise…
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That’s usually a clue . . .
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Eloquent, that wife. When it counts.
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And straight to the point.
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Sounds like they are not well suited for each other. Good tale.
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No. I’m not sure he’s well suited to anyone!
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Dear Ali
She certainly has a way of letting him know of her heated displeasure. You made me chuckle.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
She gets straight to the point. Hopefully he was listening!
Ali
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Well, I laughed–but only because I married that guy’s clone 🙂
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Oh no! There is plenty of “that guy” around 🙂
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What is wrong with her? Doesn’t she realise how valuable that bike is? No imagination at all.
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She’ll be sorry when he’s in the local paper selling it for a mint.
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Serves her right!
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Great punch line!
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!
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Sounds like he might need it. Snort. Good one.
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I’m glad you liked it!
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I enjoyed your use of silence in the dialogue. It built the tension nicely towards your last line.
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She’s a woman of few words, but what she says counts 🙂
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I wonder was the outcome part of his great escape plan?
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I did wonder if maybe he was planning all of this…
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I think he missed the mark on gift giving.
I, like Penny, enjoyed the silent lines in between.
It’s quite effective. I liked your take on the photo prompt.
Stay Safe 😷 Isadora 😎
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Yes, he’s not the most sensitive person.
I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂 You stay safe too!
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The last line made me laugh out loud !! I think the grounds for a divorce are made pretty clear. Perhaps the rusty mike was the last straw ?
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I doubt she’ll have any trouble getting it through!
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Ali,
A fitting ending to a sad, sad story. 😂
pax,
dora
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I suspect this is the last straw in a lifetime of poorly-chosen presents 🙂
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