Home > Fiction > A Homonym Too Far

A Homonym Too Far

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Rochelle herself!

I apologise in advance.

“This wine cellar is so small. I can feel my claustrophobia coming on.

“Why can I never find anything? There are so many bottles. They need organising.

“It always smells so musty down here.

“Here’s my Chateau Lafite 1869. I want to drink it so much but it cost so much money.

“I can’t cope with all this. Why me? Oh, God, WHY ME? Aaaaargh!”


“Hi Margo, where’s Tarquin?”

“He’s down in his whine cellar.”

  1. December 16, 2021 at 9:48 am

    Tarquin! A perfect name for a whiner


    • December 17, 2021 at 1:55 pm

      Yep, a whiner with some expensive bottles.


  2. December 16, 2021 at 10:01 am

    Funny, I don’t see anything being sold by this cellar….


    • December 17, 2021 at 1:56 pm

      Ha, I did try to incorporate cellar/seller but given the issue with prepositions (in/with etc) it felt too contrived so I kept it simple…


  3. December 16, 2021 at 10:33 am



  4. December 16, 2021 at 11:28 am

    Down there with the de pressed grapes?


  5. December 16, 2021 at 2:11 pm

    Rare expensive wines can have that effect on you. Why would you want to drink them or even sell them, best to lock the cellar door and Tarquin will fell better wiping tables instead.


    • December 17, 2021 at 1:58 pm

      I’ve always wondered what people do with these expensive bottles. At least without them he’d have less to “wine” about.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. December 16, 2021 at 2:15 pm

    Thanks for my biggest groan of the day! No apology necessary!


  7. December 16, 2021 at 4:03 pm

    Quick! Someone call the waaaambulance!


  8. December 16, 2021 at 4:07 pm

    Tarquin needs some cheese with his w(h)ine.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. December 16, 2021 at 4:44 pm

    A wonderful take, having a cellar of wine you cant drink must be torturous.


  10. December 16, 2021 at 6:15 pm

    😮😯🤨😒😕😲😨😵🥺 You actually WENT THERE. Cute story all the same! LOL


    • December 17, 2021 at 2:06 pm

      Yep! I like the full range of emotions in your comment 🙂


  11. December 17, 2021 at 3:39 pm

    Very funny Ali, love the punch line. Apparently some very posh 100 year old wine tastes vile.


    • December 18, 2021 at 6:05 am

      Imagine the disappointment at the grand tasting!


  12. December 17, 2021 at 8:14 pm

    for goodness sake, don’t drink and whine. 🙂


  13. December 18, 2021 at 1:53 am

    Then again, he could be WITHOUT a whine cellar … 😉


  14. December 18, 2021 at 4:13 am

    Nice play on word puns. Fun to read, and nothing to whine about.


    • December 18, 2021 at 6:06 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!


  15. December 18, 2021 at 3:01 pm

    That was fun. I wouldn’t whine if I had that wine.


  16. December 19, 2021 at 7:00 am

    last line is the punch line, great


  17. December 19, 2021 at 9:03 am

    Ha! Love it! Everyone needs a whine cellar. 🙂


    • December 19, 2021 at 5:15 pm

      It’s nice to have a dedicated place to go for that sort of thing 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  18. December 19, 2021 at 1:31 pm

    Dear Ali,

    No need to apologize. Loved the last line.




    • December 19, 2021 at 5:18 pm

      Dear Rochelle,
      A bit of a groaner, I couldn’t resist!


  19. December 20, 2021 at 12:20 am

    Thanks for the warning, Ali. Cute story.


  20. December 20, 2021 at 1:26 pm

    Great fun, Ali, made me laugh.


  21. Lyn
    December 21, 2021 at 4:50 am

    I love the name Tarquin. It always conjures up a picture of a namby pamby mummy’s boy.


    • December 21, 2021 at 6:54 am

      Yes, and also “old money” – seemed the perfect name for a wealthy whiner!

      Liked by 1 person

  22. December 21, 2021 at 1:08 pm

    Oy! I suppose we should feel sorry… errr… yeah. No.
    You always give us a laugh!


    • December 22, 2021 at 6:12 am

      Yeah, a quarter million bottle of wine is really nothing to w(h)ine about 🙂


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