Home > Fiction > FF – End Up Like Cunningham

FF – End Up Like Cunningham

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. She provided the photo this week.

Cunningham took a moment to smile at the festive scene. He half expected Santa to zoom “ho-ho-ho-ing” across the sky.

He turned his attention back to the man in the back seat, still futilely trying to strangle him. He’d got the angle all wrong.

Amateur.

Shrugging nonchalantly, Cunningham flipped the rear ejector button on the dash of his tricked-out car. The man shot into the air, taking with him Cunningham’s head.

The moral? “Don’t rear-seat-eject someone while they have a garotte around your neck?”

Seems a little specific.

Perhaps… “don’t get cocky or you’ll end up like Cunningham.” We’ll go with that.

  1. December 23, 2021 at 9:57 am

    Yeah. That’s a moral to live by

    Like

  2. December 23, 2021 at 10:46 am

    Look! it’s Santa! Flying through the sky with a decapitated head in his hand!!!!

    Like

    • December 24, 2021 at 3:17 pm

      Ho Ho… what the fuck!
      I want that on my Christmas cards next year.

      Like

  3. December 23, 2021 at 11:51 am

    I didn’t see where that was heading!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. December 23, 2021 at 11:56 am

    Not sure what really happened. But Merry Christmas in any case and keep your wits about you and your head attached.

    Like

    • December 24, 2021 at 3:19 pm

      He was being garrotted from behind and, with the wire around his neck, foolishly used the ejector seat on his assailant…
      Merry Christmas!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. December 23, 2021 at 2:22 pm

    I did not expect that ending.

    Like

  6. December 23, 2021 at 3:14 pm

    Definitely not Christmas-y even with the mention of Santa! 😀

    Like

    • December 24, 2021 at 3:27 pm

      Decapitated heads isn’t Christmassy? Darn 🙂

      Like

  7. December 23, 2021 at 5:28 pm

    Good advice. Don’t be headstrong without a head start.

    Like

  8. December 23, 2021 at 5:58 pm

    I admire a man who can keep his head when someone’s trying to kill him — or not, in this case.

    Like

  9. December 23, 2021 at 6:41 pm

    at least, he didn’t live to make the same mistake all over again.

    Like

  10. December 23, 2021 at 10:46 pm

    I was all ‘oops’ and then I read the comments. Now I can hardly type from laughing.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. December 24, 2021 at 10:29 am

    Seems like the moral is right! 🙂 Merry Christmas, Ali.

    Like

  12. December 24, 2021 at 10:39 am

    Your imagination… you need to bottle that. 🙂

    Like

    • December 24, 2021 at 3:36 pm

      The perfect Christmas gift 🙂

      Like

  13. December 24, 2021 at 9:14 pm

    Every decapitation story must have a heady moral. Well done.

    Like

  14. December 24, 2021 at 10:26 pm

    Wow… not what I was expecting. His ‘tricked out’ car needed a few more options. Merry Christmas.

    Like

  15. December 25, 2021 at 10:04 am

    I’ll certainly bear your wise words in mind!

    Like

  16. December 25, 2021 at 12:24 pm

    Dear Ali,

    I’ll tuck that bit of advice away. Wouldn’t want to lose my head at Christmas.

    Happy Christmas,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • December 26, 2021 at 6:25 am

      Dear Rochelle,
      For sure, it would be a shame to miss the “big day” 😮
      Ali

      Like

  17. Lyn
    December 26, 2021 at 11:25 am

    Well, that was a surprise ending. Pays not to be too enamoured with your own cleverness.

    Like

  18. December 26, 2021 at 8:16 pm

    We all get distracted by the pretty lights at some point. Cunningham’s timing seems to be worse than most.

    Like

    • December 28, 2021 at 7:39 am

      If ever there’s not a time to hit the ejector seat, it was then…

      Liked by 1 person

  19. December 26, 2021 at 9:41 pm

    I suspect the headless puns have been done to death so let me just say… ooops. Shit!

    Like

  20. December 27, 2021 at 4:30 am

    Moral of the story — don’t lose your head! Got it… 😀

    Like

  21. December 28, 2021 at 1:52 pm

    Head and shoulders above the average Yuletide offering – well, head anyway.

    Like

    • December 29, 2021 at 7:24 am

      His head it now significantly above his shoulders 🙂

      Like

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