FF – Stay Vigilant
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Roger Bultot.
According to MS Word, “This language may be offensive to your reader.” You have been warned 😮
Shoes. Comfortable. Keep your feet warm. Take you where you need to go.
But what if they don’t? Occasionally, you get a well dodgy pair. They pull you into a pub, a gambling shop. They force you to kick some poor unsuspecting mug in the nuts.
Some shoes can be right proper bastards.
And what do you do then? You hang them. Hang them by the laces until they be dead.
It may seem harsh, but it’s the only way.
Keep your wits about you. Are any of your shoes right proper bastards? If so, act now.
Stay vigilant. Stay safe.
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Friday Fictioneers
draliman on life 
Who’s the poor little fellow hanging on to those shoes on the left? What did he do to upset you?
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If he’s still hanging on to his shoes, I won’t stand for it…
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Don’t get on your high horse. They’re not allowed up that street!
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I’ll have to retrain my trainers before they get me into trouble.
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The retraining of trainers is not an easy prospect.
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Absolutely lovely, this whimsy
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I’m glad you liked it!
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I right enjoyed reading this, great story telling
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!
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My shoes gave me blisters. I reckon I’ve got some proper bastards!
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I reckon you’re right! That’s the first sign 😮
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Ah! So the shoes DO make the man (or person).
In that case, I much prefer HANGING onto shoes that make me a bastard 😁
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It’s much more fun that way 🙂
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Very educational. And now I can now blame my shoes for the extravagant shopping spree! 🙂
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I know I always do 🙂
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They can be dangerous to your health.
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Barefoot’s the safest way to go.
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Yep, I have a pair like that. They take me into shops and I am forced to buy completely useless items. Hell my trousers are worse! Fun read.
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Mine are the same! Damn shoes.
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That’s a great story, Ali! Loved it. You’re getting better and better.
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Thanks 🙂 This one wrote itself as soon as I saw the hanging shoes 🙂
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Dear Ali,
Sure. Sure. Blame the shoes. Love the style and construct of this story. Bravo!
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
Yeah, guv, it were the shoes, honest!
I’m glad you liked it 🙂
Ali
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The driver is going to have to raise their plow really high to clear out that gallows of rotten shoes….
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Yes, but it has to be done. Once they’ve hung there a few days as a warning to other errant shoes…
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Oh, dear. Now how should I handle my flip-flops? Flip them by their flops?
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In my experience flip-flops are pretty well-behaved 🙂
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Even my furry slippers can be nasty, you won’t believe what they did the other day!
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I’m not sure I want to know 😮 Furry slippers are notorious for going “off mission”.
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I told the judge it was the fault of the shoes. He did not believe me. Nicely done.
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Ultimately the judicial system will have to accept that there is a shoe problem.
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Yes.
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like they say, if the shoes fit… great story. 🙂
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If the shoes fit – hang ’em just in case 🙂
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This brilliant story reminds me of Anthony Burgess and his “Clockwork Orange” and the last (censored and excised in the US) last chapter. Well done!
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Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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You’re welcome.
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Good prose poem, with some rhythms!
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!
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Hm. I’ve had some bastard shoes like that. Recently though, it’s bastard mouses that drag me to online shops and make me buy useless stuff… maybe time to hang them, too.
Brilliant story, love it.
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That’s true – mouses are the new shoes! And they come ready-equipped with a hanging cord.
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The shoes made me do it! Killed a man — shoes made me do it. 😀
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It’s a more common situation than many people realise 🙂
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And not just dragging to into the pub, but they team up with little pebbles (the sharper the better) to torture you when you least expect it and aren’t in the position to take off your shoe and remove the little b….r.
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Yes, they’re getting more clever, finding allies 😮
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I’m glad it’s only the occasional pair that are dodgy. I’ve always suspected mine of reproducing all by themselves. My shoe cupboard always seems to be chockablock and I have no idea where all those shoes come from. Truly.
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See! See! While you’re asleep your shoes are taking you shoe shopping! Building the army!
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Oh, if only I could blame my shoes for all my evil inclinations!
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I’m sure you could, with a little imagination!
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Brilliant advice. Thanks.
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You’re welcome!
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Most of my shoes are right bastards, with very big teeth. Flip flops are best ‘cos they daren’t bite my toes while I’m watching.
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Flip flops are known to be amongst the least aggressive of their species.
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It’s good to know the shoes are fault, not me, and how to correct the mischievous bastards. This is a very helpful and informative piece.
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I thought it was time to publicise this important issue.
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MOL…thank Cat I only have paws…MOL…Here’s some Pawkisses to proof it🐾😽💞
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Phew. Watch out for paw mittens though 🙂
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