FF – Nuthead and Numbnuts Have a Picnic
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Roger Bultot.

Copyright Roger Bultot
“Here we are, Nuthead! A nice picnic.”
“Yes, Numbnuts, lovely. Is this where we meant to go? Never mind. Spread out the food!”
“Food?”
“Dang!”
“I remembered the baby chair.”
“Good-oh. But that makes me think we’ve forgotten something.”
“The food?”
“Something else.”
“The baby! We forgot the baby!”
“Omygodomygodomygod…”
“Wait a sec. We don’t have a baby.”
“Oh, that’s a relief. I thought for a minute we’d left him slash her at the supermarket slash petrol station slash home.”
“Phew! Though we do have a baby chair.”
“But why?”
“I forget. Let’s go home.”
“Yes, let’s. Where’s that again?”
FF – Spy Games
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by herself!

Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
“Look, that altered ‘open’ sign. That’s the signal!”
“Hmm. Are you sure, Sir? Maybe the neighbourhood kids…”
“Yes! Come on!”
ding!
“Hello, my good man. Ahem. The biscuits dunk well in the Darjeeling.”
“Huh?”
“The biscuits dunk well in the Darjeeling.”
“Your mate… bit ‘odd’ is he? A sandwich short of a picnic?”
“Um, Sir, I don’t think we’re in the right place…”
“Nonsense! I’m sure that is the correct counter-response. Um. Ahem. Yes! Here, my good man, the microfilm.”
“Um, okay.”
ding!
“Best put this with the others. Seven microfilms today! Maybe I better get my ‘open’ sign fixed. Damn kids.”
Sharing My World 31-08-2020
Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World, co-hosted by Roger “Harry Potter” Shipp. This week we’re up to “The Goblet of Fire”.

Many local regions, especially rural areas where I live, have haunted houses. Have you ever spent the night in a house that was supposedly haunted? Anything ‘strange” happen?
I’ve not heard of any haunted houses around here. Nearby we have “The Beast of Bodmin Moor”, so it’s probably best not to go there after dark. Though it’s probably just an escaped jaguar or tiger or something. Nothing to worry about 😉
The Quidditch Cup (riding broomsticks while chasing a small ball) was a huge sporting event in the land of Hogwarts. What is the largest sporting event (or concert, etc.) that you have ever attended?
I can’t think of any large sporting events. I went to a few concerts while I lived in Germany way back when. The biggest were probably Paul Simon’s “Rhythm of the Saints” tour, and Iron Maiden.
When you go for a swim, do you prefer an ocean, the seaside lakes, or a pool?
What on earth’s a “seaside lake”? Not one of those, then. I swam in the sea a couple of times as a kid, but a pool sounds the best thing to me. Nice and safe.
Ron Weasley received a horrid robe to wear as formal wear to the Christmas dance at Hogwarts. Tell about the most ‘ghastly’ fashion statement that you have ever made.
Excuse me, I’m the very epitome of fashion. Jeans and a jumper never go out of style.
What is the last song you sang along to?
I tend to have songs going round in my head rather than singing aloud. Except in the car, and that would have been whatever was playing, I sing along in the car all the time.
What was your scariest nightmare about?
Like I can remember the details… I should have answered this in the 2 minutes after actually having the nightmare, after that the details float away. I’m just left with an uneasy feeling.
What food do you crave most often?
Either chocolate or cheese, depending on whether my body needs sugar or wants savoury.


What’s your grossest bug story?
I can’t think of anything in particular. Bugs are gross. end of story.

FF – Bloody Tourists
Here is my contribution for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by C.E. Ayr.

Copyright C.E. Ayr
“Oh, how very ‘olde worlde’! Costumed inhabitants, old cars! I think I’ll try some of the ‘olde worlde’ ale! A pint of your finest, my good man.”
“’Ere. Free pahnd fifty.”
“Three pounds fifty? Surely you mean ‘a shilling and six pence, guvnor’?”
“Nah. I mean free pahnd fifty. Guvnor.”
“Oh, well, okay. Hey, this tastes just like regular ale! What about the ‘olde worlde’ experience?”
“Fine. Give it ‘ere.”
(sprinkle tinkle)
“’Ere. Olde worlde experience.”
“Aha! Urk, yeech, bleurgh! Yes, very olde worlde…”
*****
“Frank, you’ve been serving ages. Need a toilet break?”
“Nah, just ‘ad one. Har har. Bloody tourists.”
FF – Children of Light
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by J. Hardy Carroll.

Copyright J. Hardy Carroll
They called them “Children of Light”.
They came from a far distant planet. And they glowed. All the time.
They were welcomed by the Humans. Light sources. Energy sources. Even circus performers.
Within a year they were everywhere. Homes, shops, businesses. Militaries. Governments.
Perfectly positioned…
Fortunately for the Humans, the Children of Light were friendly and quite happy to be used as light bulbs.
But beware, Humans! I have learnt from this. For I am disguising my invasion army as useful widgets. And we’re a right nasty bunch of belligerent bastards. Your planet shall be ours!
See you soon.
FF – What a Relief!
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Ted Strutz.

Copyright Ted Strutz
“I hope my friends are okay in the haunted house. Here I am, stuck viewing everything through this monitor they gave me.”
“Surprise!”
“Huh?”
“Hi, we’re with PRANK TV! We removed the colour via the monitor to make the house look haunted! You’ve been PRANKED!”
“Wow!”
“I’ll tweak the settings… here’s the colour back. Not so haunted-looking now… oh, shit.”

Original copyright Ted Strutz
“No, it’s not. Phew!”
“Um, about your friends…”
“Thank goodness they’re not in a haunted house! I’ll just wait here for my friends to come back out, then.”
“Um. About that. Yeah. I wouldn’t bother waiting…”













