Home > Fiction > Rule Britannia – MFTS

Rule Britannia – MFTS

This is my contribution to this week’s Mondays Finish the Story, hosted by Barbara Beacham.

Something about this photo of a big house away from the general populace combined with the word “Brigadier” made me think of that proud 19th Century British tradition of believing that the whole world should belong to Britain and that everyone else was somehow “in the way”.

The supplied sentence is in bold in my story and you can read this week’s other contributions by clicking on the blue froggy.



A body suddenly crashed through a plate glass window at the Brigadier’s house.

“I say,” exclaimed the Brigadier. “This won’t do at all!”

“Frightfully sorry about that, Sir,” said the Lieutenant calmly as he took a sip of Port and shot the interloper in the head.

“Oh, Lieutenant!” said the Brigadier indignantly, looking at the brains leaking onto the carpet. “My favourite throw rug!”

“My apologies, Brigadier,” continued the Lieutenant, swiftly dispatching two more attackers.

“What-ho! Watch the wallpaper! I had it shipped in ‘specially from Messers Smythe and Clarke of Dinkledum Street, you know.”

Before the Lieutenant had a chance to respond, one of the attacking natives pierced his heart with a long knife.

“I don’t understand,” barked the Brigadier as natives closed on him, knives gleaming. “We’ve brought you education, technology… all we ask is that you follow our rules!”

While the Brigadier’s soldiers, fighting for pay, cowered behind the furniture, the natives, fighting for their home, ignored the bullets and reclaimed their land.

  1. March 16, 2015 at 8:22 pm

    A true fantasy, but a good one 🙂 I think, except for the Masai, the aboriginal inhabitants never won. In some places, they outlasted their invaders. I guess that’s a victory too.


    • March 16, 2015 at 8:26 pm

      I was going to put at the top “Warning to history buffs – this pretty much never happened” but as it turns out I’m feeling too lazy this evening. Nice idea, though 🙂


  2. March 16, 2015 at 8:23 pm

    Hilarious, Ali. That was certainly told with a stiff upper lip. Well done. 😀 — Suzanne


    • March 16, 2015 at 8:27 pm

      I love how in all the films, no matter what’s happening, the officers always managed to maintain their air of “Britishness” 🙂


  3. March 16, 2015 at 9:19 pm

    This reminds me of a great scene from the film ‘Carry on up the Khyber’, when the Governors house is being attacked but they maintain a good-old British stiff upper lip.


    • March 17, 2015 at 7:50 am

      I’ve seen that film quite a few times and while I was writing I was definitely seeing various film scenes in my mind.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. March 16, 2015 at 10:18 pm

    Great story! I can imagine it all happening in my mind and the general is a hoot! A British Hoot. Loved your take on the prompt.


  5. March 16, 2015 at 10:37 pm

    Well, I see your humor is back.
    Too bad the Brits are so British.


    • March 17, 2015 at 7:52 am

      Yes, we are quite a British bunch aren’t we? 🙂


      • March 17, 2015 at 12:30 pm

        Are you a British?


        • March 17, 2015 at 12:45 pm

          Yes 🙂


          • March 17, 2015 at 2:09 pm

            I have so many favorite things about blogging.
            One of them is making virtual friends around the world.
            One of my dreams is to one day be able to travel the word and meet some of these people in person.
            If you’re ever in Minnesota, USA, let me know. Ha. ;0)


            • March 17, 2015 at 4:30 pm

              I also think it’s cool that I can get to know and virtually chat to people from pretty much everywhere 🙂
              It would be fun to meet fellow bloggers one day!

              Liked by 1 person

          • March 17, 2015 at 3:33 pm

            You know that might explain a lot of things.


  6. March 16, 2015 at 11:07 pm

    Good to see the natives having a victory, even if it would be temporary as one might suspect.


    • March 17, 2015 at 7:52 am

      Yes, I suspect there will be a swift counter attack. Nice while it lasted.


  7. March 16, 2015 at 11:33 pm

    I love Dinkledum street 🙂


  8. March 17, 2015 at 1:33 am

    Absolutely fantastic! I read this in my mind with a British accent. It was over the top, what with the wallpaper and the rug! Still laughing! The cowering soldiers? Too bad they were underpaid! Thanks again for giving me such a good laugh today! I needed that! Thanks as well for your continuing participation! I appreciate it and hope to see you again next week! Be well… ^..^


    • March 17, 2015 at 7:54 am

      Sometimes I wonder if it was really like that 🙂
      I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. March 17, 2015 at 1:40 am

    That was great! Very funny, it reminded me of the Blackadder series when they were in the army 🙂


    • March 17, 2015 at 7:55 am

      I’ve seen “Blackadder Goes Forth” so many times I can practically recite it from memory, so it’s entirely possible that my brigadier was based on General Melchett 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  10. gentlestitches
    March 17, 2015 at 2:11 am

    HaHa! Never let the lip go flaccid eh wot!


  11. March 17, 2015 at 2:16 am

    It takes a lot of nerve to start a revolt at tea time. That’s just not fighting fair, now…


    • March 17, 2015 at 7:56 am

      They could at least have waited until after tiffin…


  12. latasun
    March 17, 2015 at 3:52 am

    It begins in a funny way and the ending is really good as it becomes serious. I loved it.


    • March 17, 2015 at 7:58 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you saw the serious ending after all the slapstick “stiff-upper-lipidness” of the rest 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  13. March 17, 2015 at 6:55 am

    Excellent, old chap! Even if the natives did win, we’ll still get them at cricket, or football. What ho! 😀


    • March 17, 2015 at 7:59 am

      Absolutely. Final victory shall be ours out on the pitch, don’t’cha know!

      Liked by 1 person

    • Lyn
      March 17, 2015 at 8:35 am

      Well, let’s face it. There’s the Brits and all the rest are foreigners aren’t they 😉
      Hmmm, as for the cricket… haaa haaa haaa haaa LOL, sorry :p

      Liked by 2 people

  14. March 17, 2015 at 6:21 pm

    Brilliant, Ali. The Brigadier is just so … so British! His confusion over why the natives should even want to revolt is so true to real-life ideas during the Victorian era. Who wouldn’t want to abide by British rules and do as they’re told! Hahaha. 🙂


    • March 18, 2015 at 7:40 am

      Exactly. Obviously the British way of doing things is the correct way 🙂
      Glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  15. March 17, 2015 at 7:49 pm

    I love this! The brigadier and lieutenant are wonderfully British! Great take on the prompt. 🙂


    • March 18, 2015 at 7:42 am

      They’re the very epitome of Victorian British army officers! Glad you liked it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  16. March 18, 2015 at 1:22 am

    Yes–we were thinking along the same lines this week! I like the humor in yours!


  17. March 18, 2015 at 6:28 am

    I’m not big on following rules either.
    I do it mostly becsuse I can’t kill anyone. Good thought process DrAli.
    Enjoyed this, needs flying body though.


    • March 18, 2015 at 7:45 am

      See, I listened to your previous comments and added some leaking brains and now you want flying bodies too 🙂


  18. March 21, 2015 at 12:09 am

    Great story…. There is such a difference between fighting for things” and “fighting for life.”


  19. March 21, 2015 at 12:10 am

    Forgot…. i loved the “brains on the rugs”….. Cleanliness is next to godliness… even in war?


    • March 22, 2015 at 7:22 am

      The brigadier is very “proper”, and it is his favourite rug. He doesn’t really see the danger – after all, the attackers are only “uncivilised natives”.

      Liked by 1 person

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