Home > Fiction > Memories of a Breaking World

Memories of a Breaking World

It’s Friday Fictioneers time again, the weekly 100-ish word flash fiction photo challenge hosted by Rochelle. This week the photo was contributed by Rachel Bjerke. I’d love to know where this is, it looks lovely!

I’m not sure what genre to place my story in. I’ll go for “boring” as nothing actually happens. I’m sure there’s a proper literary word for it. I chose a rather pretentious title to spruce it up a bit, though :-).

To read this week’s other stories, click on the blue froggy.

rachel-bjerke

Copyright Rachel Bjerke

 

Gronedd gazed around the ruins, admiring the damp moss glistening as the sun reflected from early morning dew. At the sight, memories from centuries past rose in his mind.

Gwyneth having her first child. Haffard placing logs on the huge fire. Dafvidd taking his first, faltering steps. Such memories this place brought him; though he had seen billions of years these had been his happiest.

Bound as an Observer to this world since its birth, Gronedd would remain until its end. Seeing wars, disease, hunger, pollution, all around him… he knew his final sleep at last approached. He would spend his final days here.

 

  1. March 18, 2015 at 8:32 pm

    What an evocative scene, in both image and the words that bring it to life! Nothing can dampen good memories and the hope they inject into whatever the future brings, even “the final sleep.”

    Like

    • March 18, 2015 at 9:01 pm

      I’m glad you liked the scene I painted. He still has his memories to help him through the years, how ever many there are left.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. March 18, 2015 at 8:51 pm

    A watcher coming to an end sounds a little bit like we are waiting for the seven horsemen coming along as well

    Like

    • March 18, 2015 at 9:02 pm

      I expect they’ll turn up just before the end. Maybe they’ll be the last thing he sees.

      Like

  3. March 18, 2015 at 9:01 pm

    A billion is a lot of years, even if you say it quickly. It’s why I don’t think eternal life is necessarily a gift. Just a thought. Interesting sketch and a character that could be reused if you need one.

    Like

    • March 18, 2015 at 9:04 pm

      A life of billions of years is more a curse, I think. Of course, being an “Observer” he’s probably wired differently to us.
      Definitely a reusable character, since he’s around from start to finish!

      Like

  4. March 18, 2015 at 9:34 pm

    And a good place to end up. He must be so relieved it is soon.

    Like

    • March 19, 2015 at 7:56 am

      I think he is. He’s found a nice spot.

      Like

  5. March 18, 2015 at 9:49 pm

    Wow, the description is wonderful and vivid in my mind’s eye. It is very intriguing too, and it makes me wonder if he is something otherworldly that has been bound in human form, or cursed to wander the earth.

    Like

    • March 19, 2015 at 7:57 am

      I think it’s a bit of both – living so long is surely a curse. I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. March 18, 2015 at 11:47 pm

    That’s not boring, that’s the start of something amazing πŸ™‚

    Like

    • March 19, 2015 at 7:58 am

      I’m sure there’s a “proper” word for a sort of introspective memory type story πŸ™‚
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  7. Lyn
    March 19, 2015 at 12:35 am

    Brilliant story, D-man. I can see this as a snippet from a novel. Loved it, just loved it πŸ™‚

    Like

    • March 19, 2015 at 7:59 am

      I’m glad you enjoyed it! Marilyn mentioned that he’s quite a reusable character. He has been around forever, after all πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  8. March 19, 2015 at 2:14 am

    His final days means it is the end of civilization, right? Excellent story. A sadness seems to hover through it.

    Like

    • March 19, 2015 at 8:00 am

      Yes – bound to the Earth, it dictates his lifespan. I think he’s sad to see so many people he loves come and go while he lives on.

      Liked by 1 person

      • March 19, 2015 at 11:03 am

        Yes, that would be very sad and hard to live with. Especially for a billion years!

        Like

  9. March 19, 2015 at 2:53 am

    one of your best. great use of imagery and language.

    Like

    • March 19, 2015 at 8:01 am

      Thanks! I spent a lot of time editing the descriptions. Glad you liked it!

      Like

  10. March 19, 2015 at 4:08 am

    Poor guys been around for centuries watching loved ones come and go! No wonder he chose such a peaceful looking place for his final rest. Beautifully done.

    Like

    • March 19, 2015 at 8:02 am

      I think he’s happy to just sit there with his memories until the end comes.
      I’m glad you liked it.

      Like

  11. March 19, 2015 at 5:52 am

    A little change from your usual style, Ali. It was very good. however. Really creative and well done. πŸ™‚ — Suzanne

    Like

    • March 19, 2015 at 8:02 am

      Thanks, it was a bit less “actiony” than usual but I’m glad you liked it πŸ™‚

      Like

  12. March 19, 2015 at 6:47 am

    Good one. Bound as on observer to this world from its birth to death – a truly appalling prospect. Well done.

    Like

    • March 19, 2015 at 8:03 am

      It hardly bears thinking about – all those years watching.
      Glad you enjoyed it.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. March 19, 2015 at 7:58 am

    Too many serious comments about a serious story for me to make a joke about ‘Global Warming.” Well done. πŸ™‚

    Like

  14. March 19, 2015 at 10:38 am

    Dear Draliman,

    Great choice of genre. I’m a specialist in it.

    Billions of years? I’d be napping a lot. Very well imagined. Gives new meaning to the words Deep Time.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Like

    • March 19, 2015 at 1:02 pm

      Dear Doug,
      I’m wondering if he’s allowed to nap, being an official “Observer” and all πŸ™‚
      Ali

      Like

  15. March 19, 2015 at 10:39 am

    Dear Ali,

    I certainly wouldn’t tag this with boring. πŸ˜‰ Millions of years is a long time to live, love and observe. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • March 19, 2015 at 1:03 pm

      Dear Rochelle,
      I bet he found it boring πŸ™‚ Imagine the wonders he’s seen…
      Ali

      Like

  16. March 19, 2015 at 11:24 am

    Wow, attributing this place as the last place on Earthβ€”that’s quite the value promotion for one of Bjerke’s photos. (And I mean that in a positive way.)

    Like

  17. March 19, 2015 at 12:01 pm

    I love that you too went (way) back in time. This photo, for me, immediately evoked images of ancient Celts, druids, and such. Nicely done!

    Like

    • March 19, 2015 at 1:03 pm

      The first things I thought of were ghosts, faerie, druids and so on. It’s such a great picture!

      Like

  18. March 19, 2015 at 2:24 pm

    This was far from boring!

    Like

  19. March 19, 2015 at 2:47 pm

    This could be right out of the Mabigonion.

    Like

  20. March 19, 2015 at 4:47 pm

    I really love this little scene. Your writing is beautifully descriptive and the character fascinating. I hope he lives out his last days in peace. πŸ™‚

    Like

  21. March 19, 2015 at 5:57 pm

    Love the story! I want more πŸ™‚

    Like

    • March 20, 2015 at 8:05 am

      It’s definitely a character I could reuse since he’ll always be, and always has been, around πŸ™‚
      Glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  22. March 20, 2015 at 12:20 am

    Poor guy, it sound like he deserves a rest.

    Like

  23. March 20, 2015 at 3:44 am

    He has thought it was the end before (many times) I hope he is wrong again. πŸ˜€

    Like

  24. March 20, 2015 at 3:58 am

    One of your best pieces, took me there.
    Did you enlarged the photo to capture your Observer?
    I did not miss the flying body parts in this.

    Like

    • March 20, 2015 at 8:05 am

      Thanks! They don’t always need flying body parts πŸ™‚
      I actually shrunk the photo a bit.

      Like

  25. March 20, 2015 at 4:35 am

    What a great imagination you have! Said so much in a 100 words, literally from the beginning to the end. Really good!

    Like

    • March 20, 2015 at 8:06 am

      Thanks for such a lovely comment. I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Liked by 1 person

  26. March 20, 2015 at 6:31 pm

    Hmm, what’s gonna ice the guy that’s been around for centuries? Inquiring minds need to know!

    Like

    • March 22, 2015 at 7:18 am

      He’s linked to this world – he was “born” with the world and when the world dies he’ll die with it.

      Like

  27. March 21, 2015 at 6:22 am

    You write so well, prompts are seldom needed. What do you see in the center of the pond on the very top perch?
    Anything or nothing.

    Like

    • March 22, 2015 at 7:24 am

      Thanks, that’s a lovely comment!
      I zoomed in and then zoomed in again, and I think there’s a frog up there πŸ™‚

      Like

  28. March 21, 2015 at 12:18 pm

    Did you say in your intro that nothing happens in your story? Really? I’d say everything happens – and rather well. A wonderful story.

    Like

    • March 22, 2015 at 7:25 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you liked it! It’s less “actiony” than many of my stories, I guess that’s what I meant.

      Like

  29. March 21, 2015 at 3:22 pm

    Wow, I suppose there are worse places to spend your last days. great story!

    This is the patio in my backyard…. near Portland Oregon. πŸ™‚

    Like

    • March 22, 2015 at 7:26 am

      Thanks! Yes, it’s a nice peaceful spot to wait for the end.
      I was hoping it was somewhere in the UK so I could go visit!

      Like

  30. March 21, 2015 at 8:39 pm

    An interesting piece of fiction. Reminds me of some grand space opera summarised in a 100 words. Good job

    Like

    • March 22, 2015 at 7:46 am

      The whole thing could be quite an epic considering how long he has lived.
      Glad you liked it!

      Like

  31. March 21, 2015 at 11:01 pm

    Reflective… Introspective… but sad. Not the way I want to go.

    Like

    • March 22, 2015 at 7:46 am

      Those are better words for the genre, thanks!
      I think I’d be quite happy to go that way. It’s kinda peaceful.

      Liked by 1 person

  32. March 22, 2015 at 2:26 pm

    As I’m scrambling madly just to attempt to get more stories read, the comments have all been taken this late in the game. I’m not a sci-fi person for the most part, but I really enjoyed this snippet of what is obviously a much larger story, whether written or not.

    janet

    Like

    • March 22, 2015 at 4:36 pm

      I’m glad you liked it! It does seem that I’ve written the very end of a novel first.

      Like

  33. March 26, 2015 at 11:17 am

    So sad, the end of days. Well written, especially little snippets of family life.

    Like

    • March 26, 2015 at 1:18 pm

      Thanks! I’m glad you liked the bit with his memories. I had to cut them down a bit due to the word count.

      Liked by 1 person

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