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Kidz in Luv

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Jean L. Hays.

I have attempted to recreate the language of the “youff of today”. Unfortunately I’m (ahem ahem) years too old, and when I was a kid, kids didn’t talk like this. Maybe they still don’t!

(I’ve made a reference in my story – it is said that when the apes leave the Rock of Gibraltar, so will the British, so it implies the end of something.)

To read this week’s other contributions, click on the blue froggy.

cars-in-sand

Copyright Jean L. Hays

 

“Yo, bitches, get gone, I need ta talk ta ma girl!”

All but one of the girls gave her a surly look and moved away.

“So, girl, wuzzup? What dis ‘bout yo man Jazz?”

“Me ‘n Jazz still good, yo. Why, what ya heard?”

“Seen, girl. Seen. I seen Jazz wiv his old squeeze, and dey look happy.”

“No way! Me ‘n Jazz is solid! Solid like da Rock o’ Gibraltar, ya dig me?”

“Da monkeys is leavin’ da Rock. You got ya head in da sand, girl.” She walked away, shaking her head. “Head in da sand.”

 

  1. July 1, 2015 at 7:33 pm

    Since I’m as antiquated as most of the readers it sounds very believable to me.. There are those days when you start looking for those monkeys and find the rocks are crumbling.

    Like

    • July 2, 2015 at 5:04 pm

      There certainly are. This girl is about to learn that lesson.

      Like

  2. July 1, 2015 at 8:00 pm

    The characters in your story sounds like real characters!

    Like

    • July 2, 2015 at 5:05 pm

      I’m glad you found them realistic 🙂

      Like

  3. July 1, 2015 at 8:06 pm

    Love it (and I ain’t no spring chicken neither!)

    Like

    • July 2, 2015 at 5:05 pm

      I’m glad you liked it! I’m sure young-uns would pick a few holes…

      Liked by 1 person

      • July 2, 2015 at 7:55 pm

        Yeah well….let ’em! 😉

        Like

  4. July 1, 2015 at 8:11 pm

    Yo is very legit and shit.

    Like

  5. July 1, 2015 at 8:25 pm

    My head is spinning. Is this like “when hell freezes over?”

    Like

  6. July 1, 2015 at 8:39 pm

    Thank goodness there’s time to sign up for that ESL class in church!

    Like

  7. July 1, 2015 at 10:22 pm

    That was brave Ali, it could of gone horribly wrong… but it didn’t! Well done on the dialogue, that kind of thing terrifies me but you pulled it of nicely with a great little story. 🙂

    Like

    • July 2, 2015 at 5:10 pm

      After I clicked “publish” I did think “this could go one of two ways…” I nearly went with one of my other ideas at the last minute (idiot planting cars or failed stunt driver).
      It was somewhat experimental! I’m glad it worked for you 🙂

      Like

  8. July 1, 2015 at 11:25 pm

    This is delightfully well done.

    Like

  9. July 2, 2015 at 2:09 am

    Gahhh!! 😀

    Like

  10. July 2, 2015 at 5:50 am

    Sounds realistic to me. At least based on movies and television. I think you did a wonderful job!

    Like

    • July 2, 2015 at 5:12 pm

      My “research” did consist of TV and films 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  11. July 2, 2015 at 6:07 am

    A tale as old as the hills in modern vernacular: I like it.

    Like

  12. July 2, 2015 at 6:52 am

    Sounds like the stuff I hear all around me. You could have had a “would of” in there to round it off, but a good piece.

    Like

  13. July 2, 2015 at 7:45 am

    That was fun. Clever writing.
    Have you read any of August Wilson’s plays – 1920’s 30’s stuff – Afro-Americans moving to big cities from the slave states – great language.

    Like

    • July 2, 2015 at 5:16 pm

      I haven’t read any of those, might be worth a look.
      I’m glad you liked my story!

      Like

  14. July 2, 2015 at 7:49 am

    You can come out of the sand now…it’s just me, the cat 😉 Pawkisses for a Great Day 🙂 ❤

    Like

  15. Lata Sunil
    July 2, 2015 at 11:14 am

    Nice story.. and i like the dialogues. ya!

    Like

  16. July 2, 2015 at 11:55 am

    Dear Ali,

    This sounds very American. Nicely done and grammatically incorrect.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • July 2, 2015 at 11:56 am

      PS I worked with a young woman who sounded like this yo. Limited vocabulary…made me crazy.

      Like

      • July 2, 2015 at 5:21 pm

        🙂
        It would drive me mad too!

        Like

    • July 2, 2015 at 5:21 pm

      Dear Rochelle,
      I’m glad you liked it! You wouldn’t believe how many little red lines the spell checker put under the words in this one 🙂
      Ali

      Like

  17. July 2, 2015 at 12:58 pm

    Err… uhm… it does sound very real to me, but I’m too old to be able to tell. It’s a great story either way.

    Like

    • July 2, 2015 at 5:22 pm

      It’s probably how we older ones think the younger ones talk!
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  18. July 2, 2015 at 1:48 pm

    Good Ali. My kids didn’t speak like that but could imitate it to a tea. My husband had been taught correct English in Indian schools, and I was a teacher, so the kids didn’t hear anthing in the home but correct English. My daughter picked up some southern words like “y’all” having been raised in North Carolina, but my son spoke like he was raised in the north. The kids and I do say “Hay” instead of “Hi”, That’s from living in North Carolina. I say “M’am” from working in call centers where we were told to address a woman customer that way. It gets to be a habit. One of the operators in the long distance call center said “yo” to a customer and was told never to do it again.

    Like

    • July 2, 2015 at 5:23 pm

      I can’t believe someone in a call centre said “yo” 🙂
      I sometimes wonder if people who speak like this can actually talk properly if they put their mind to it.

      Like

  19. July 2, 2015 at 3:00 pm

    Interesting interpretation, and I can imagine the conversation, though I don’t know if that’s how they talk 🙂

    Here’s me Friday Fictioneers fiction

    Like

    • July 2, 2015 at 5:23 pm

      I’m not sure if they talk like that either 🙂

      Like

  20. July 2, 2015 at 4:15 pm

    Quite a challenge reading that, but I’m glad I took it! Yo!

    Rosey Pinkerton’s blog

    Like

    • July 2, 2015 at 5:24 pm

      It was also quite a challenge proof-reading it! I kept getting lost and having to start again 🙂

      Like

  21. July 2, 2015 at 7:06 pm

    I totally heard what she was saying.

    Like

  22. July 3, 2015 at 8:13 am

    Could you provide a translation of this story into English please? 😉

    Like

    • July 3, 2015 at 8:43 am

      “I say old girl, I observed your boyfriend with another man.”
      “I’m afraid I don’t believe you, but thank you for letting me know!”
      “Poor girl, she’s living in a fantasy world, don’t ‘cha know. Jolly hockey sticks!”

      🙂

      Like

  23. July 3, 2015 at 9:51 pm

    Pretty intelligent dude.

    DJ

    Like

  24. July 4, 2015 at 3:35 am

    i hope she’s right for her own good. 🙂

    Like

  25. July 4, 2015 at 1:28 pm

    Dats cray cray!

    Nice dialogue, but I think listening to that for very long would drive ME cray cray!

    Well done.

    Like

    • July 4, 2015 at 4:53 pm

      Thanks! Proof-reading it drove me crazy 🙂

      Like

  26. July 4, 2015 at 8:34 pm

    Ha! So funny. It sounds believable and like authentic youth. Head in da sand makes me thinks he’s Jamaican or Rastafarian. 🙂

    Like

    • July 5, 2015 at 5:48 am

      That’s what I reckon. I’m glad it sounded authentic!

      Like

  27. July 5, 2015 at 10:21 am

    Dear god but you’ve ripped apart the English language with this one. Since this was your intent, well done. Fo Shizzle!!!

    Like

  28. July 7, 2015 at 2:24 am

    You did a good job on that “teenage talkin'” you could have thrown in a few “homies” in there too. LOL!

    Like

    • July 7, 2015 at 7:17 am

      I missed a trick with “homies”! Never mind 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • July 7, 2015 at 9:47 am

        LOL! I think you did amazing with the their way of talking.

        Like

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