Home > Fiction > Friday Fictioneers – Poorly Thought Out

Friday Fictioneers – Poorly Thought Out

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle at Addicted to Purple. This week’s photo was contributed by Claire Fuller.

To read this week’s other stories, click on the blue froggy.

Copyright Claire Fuller

Copyright Claire Fuller

 

“So what’s this you’re demonstrating, then?”

“Well, you know how the little bastar… darlings from Class 7B are always tipping the lockers over?”

“Yeeesssss…”

“I’ve retro-fitted them with special bars that automatically slam down to steady them the moment any tipping movement is detected.”

“Riigghttt… one problem I can see…”

“I’ll give them a shove and you’ll see it in action.”

“…is that there’s a busy corridor right behind…”

Shove.

Creak.

Clunk.

SPLAT!

“Yay! The anti-tipping mechanism deployed beautifully.”

“On top of Class 5C.”

“Some sort of pre-deployment alarm system, perhaps?”

“Go away now, please. Somebody call an ambulance!

 

  1. August 26, 2015 at 8:06 pm

    Yes, that’s government bureaucracy in action. Gotta love it.

    Like

    • August 27, 2015 at 7:35 am

      By the time they’ve been through all the committees, vetting processes and so on there’s never enough money left to do the job properly.

      Like

  2. August 26, 2015 at 8:41 pm

    Pacman with moving walls…do eet!

    Like

    • August 27, 2015 at 7:35 am

      That sounds fun. A new lease of life for an old game!

      Like

  3. August 26, 2015 at 9:12 pm

    Would not be surprised if that really happened.

    DJ

    Like

  4. Lyn
    August 27, 2015 at 2:35 am

    D-man at his destructive best 🙂 Nothing worse than a slamming stabilising bar. The inventor was obviously not scientifically minded. Someone needs to tell him bolting them to the floor might be a better option–and there’d be a lot less blood and guts.

    Like

    • August 27, 2015 at 7:36 am

      Where’s the fun in that? Auto-deploying metal bars are much more exciting 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Lata Sunil
    August 27, 2015 at 3:23 am

    Hahahah.. thanks for my daily dose of laughter

    Like

  6. August 27, 2015 at 6:58 am

    I hate when that happens! lol

    Like

    • August 27, 2015 at 7:37 am

      Yeah, it’s always a bit annoying, disrupts the whole day with all those paramedics tramping in and out 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. August 27, 2015 at 7:06 am

    Hah! Engineering overtaking humanity.

    Like

  8. August 27, 2015 at 8:42 am

    Dear Ali,

    Best laid plans of mice, men and bureaucracy. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • August 27, 2015 at 12:42 pm

      Dear Rochelle,
      Well, it’s impossible to provide for every contingency and get it all signed off, built and installed! Something has to give…
      I’m glad you liked it!
      Ali

      Like

  9. August 27, 2015 at 9:31 am

    Dear Draliman,

    You are a man after my own heart. Well imagined and perfectly executed.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Like

    • August 27, 2015 at 12:44 pm

      Dear Doug,
      Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it! It took a couple of fairly major rewrites to get this one done.
      Ali

      Like

  10. August 27, 2015 at 10:10 am

    The HSE is going to have a field day!
    Good piece.

    Like

    • August 27, 2015 at 12:45 pm

      HSE pah! It’s a world gone mad, all those rules and regs. Though they may have a point this time, I suppose…
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. August 27, 2015 at 12:19 pm

    Hehehe. Safety? Whatever for? Look at all the cool functions this thing has. I love it.

    Like

    • August 27, 2015 at 12:46 pm

      Stabilises lockers and crushes unruly school children, all in one handy package 🙂

      Like

  12. August 27, 2015 at 12:30 pm

    Class 5C probably had it coming anyway. It pays to stay vigilant.

    Like

    • August 27, 2015 at 12:47 pm

      They were probably always in detention for “failing to pay attention”. This’ll learn ’em 🙂

      Like

  13. August 27, 2015 at 1:06 pm

    Engineers were involved for sure… they love to wreak havoc (though they think they’ve covered all the angles!)

    Like

    • August 27, 2015 at 7:51 pm

      It’s all about the product. Consequences be damned, it worked, didn’t it? 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • August 27, 2015 at 7:53 pm

        Who cares about the consequences, right?

        Liked by 1 person

  14. August 27, 2015 at 1:06 pm

    But well written. 5C – pah!

    Like

    • August 27, 2015 at 7:52 pm

      I never liked 5C. Troublemakers, the lot of them.

      Like

  15. August 27, 2015 at 3:02 pm

    Splat.. I think there is a reason to evaluate ideas before implementing.

    Like

    • August 27, 2015 at 7:52 pm

      Possibly a “live test” wasn’t the way to go.

      Like

  16. August 27, 2015 at 3:24 pm

    I do love a good preventative mechanism that just causes more damage. This post has the Safety Unicorn® Seal of Approval!

    Like

    • August 27, 2015 at 7:54 pm

      Wow, thanks! I have reached the pinnacle of the Health and Safety mountain 🙂 Mayhem guaranteed.

      Like

  17. August 27, 2015 at 4:33 pm

    Would it work for tipping cows?
    Funny and typical when solving a problem via committee! Been there done that! 🙂
    You know I really miss the LOL – so much easier to type! 😦

    Like

    • August 27, 2015 at 7:56 pm

      It can be affixed to anything! That’s the beauty of it 🙂
      LOL away!

      Like

  18. August 27, 2015 at 5:40 pm

    Gee, I hope everyone is still alive! I think they have a law suit on their hands. Well done, Ali!

    Like

    • August 27, 2015 at 7:59 pm

      I’m sure they’ll be fine. In a couple of months or so 🙂 It’s Christmas come early for the lawyers.
      I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Liked by 1 person

  19. August 27, 2015 at 9:02 pm

    LOL. Too funny. 🙂

    Like

  20. August 28, 2015 at 2:34 am

    LOL! AS you pointed out it’s “Christmas come early for the lawyers. :-D”

    Like

  21. August 28, 2015 at 2:43 pm

    Hahaha. Having taught for umpteen years, I find this hilarious. Kids ‘messing about’ in lockers is comon enough, but having lockers that ‘squash’ the class behind when shoved is an excellent… er… ill-thought-out-idea. 🙂

    Like

    • August 29, 2015 at 4:59 pm

      Maybe this wasn’t quite the “accident” it first appeared to be 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  22. August 28, 2015 at 5:17 pm

    I’m constantly poorly thought out and caught out – had all the gutters cleaned and this week the drain couldn’t cope and flooded. Water pouring out in all directions like the old days was the best system after all!
    Thanks for reminding us sometimes the best option is to do nothing…

    Like

    • August 29, 2015 at 5:02 pm

      Oh no! You do the right thing, get it all sorted…
      With all the rain recently (I think you’re also in the UK?) I’m not surprised something had to give.

      Like

  23. August 28, 2015 at 9:06 pm

    Love this story–so typical of the “perfect fix” to any problem, right? Those whoopies get you every time! 🙂

    Like

  24. August 29, 2015 at 3:53 am

    Too bad! Well, back to the drawing board.

    Like

    • August 29, 2015 at 5:03 pm

      I dread to think what his next brilliant idea will be!

      Like

  25. August 30, 2015 at 12:05 am

    Nothing like a solution that’s worse than the problem. Good story.

    Like

    • August 30, 2015 at 6:50 am

      It happens quite often, I think (though maybe not this exact situation!).

      Like

  26. August 30, 2015 at 8:00 am

    Good story, Ali. I knew it was going to turn dark when I saw the word “SPLAT.” Well done. 😀

    Like

    • August 30, 2015 at 9:55 am

      Dark in a funny way, though 🙂

      Like

  27. August 30, 2015 at 10:53 pm

    Genius. A few squashed…darlings are a small price to pay for progress!
    Nicely done, great dialogue story.

    Like

    • August 31, 2015 at 7:06 am

      Exactly! There are always casualties on the road into the future.
      Glad you liked it, I enjoy writing dialogue.

      Liked by 1 person

  28. August 31, 2015 at 5:29 am

    An excellent story, I love dark humor.

    Like

  29. September 2, 2015 at 9:44 am

    After a few such accidents I’m sure the kids will learn not to mess around in the lockers! Wonderful, as always, Ali. 🙂

    Like

  30. September 3, 2015 at 12:53 pm

    Oops. There was god intentions there, at least. Hope that ambulance is quick!

    Like

    • September 3, 2015 at 3:40 pm

      I hope so too. The best laid plans… and the most poorly laid plans too 🙂

      Like

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