Home > Fiction > Friday Fictioneers – Her Broken Heart

Friday Fictioneers – Her Broken Heart

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s picture was contributed by Marie Gail Stratford.

To read this week’s other stories, click on the blue froggy.

Copyright Marie Gail Stratford

Copyright Marie Gail Stratford

 

Sitting slumped at the desk, she looked across at the easy chairs. The one on the left had been his. Empty now. Empty as her broken heart.

He was gone. Gone forever. Her love, her life, her everything.

Wiping a tear from her eye, she grabbed the mouse – his silly, ziggy-zaggy, beautiful mouse (that thought brought a lump to her throat) – and began searching. Chainsaw hire, mini-diggers, concreting and patio services…

If her wonderful, beautiful, perfect Barry and slutty Sally from Accounts Payable enjoyed each other so much, they could bloody well spend eternity in the same hole.

 

  1. September 30, 2015 at 6:53 pm

    Ali , are you trying to induce another chain-saw dream in me? πŸ˜‰ Nicely written.

    Like

    • September 30, 2015 at 7:43 pm

      Ooh noo, sorry about that πŸ™‚
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  2. September 30, 2015 at 7:12 pm

    Oh, wow. She’s not feeling bitter or anything, is she? This made me laugh even though it’s so wicked. Nicely done, Ali.

    Like

    • September 30, 2015 at 7:46 pm

      She’s a very forgiving sort πŸ™‚
      I also found it amusing heh heh! I’m glad you liked it.

      Like

  3. September 30, 2015 at 7:52 pm

    That’s great! A whole spectrum of emotions and a wicked ending. Wouldn’t want to be on her bad side.

    Like

    • September 30, 2015 at 7:59 pm

      I hoped to make it sound like a grieving widow until near the end πŸ™‚ I wouldn’t want to be on her bad side either, she doesn’t sound entirely stable!

      Like

  4. September 30, 2015 at 8:08 pm

    Be careful with those chainsaws, they have a mind of their own!

    Like

    • October 1, 2015 at 7:09 am

      Yeah, she might end up in the hole too! If there’s one thing I have no desire to do, it’s hold a chainsaw. I’d be sure to chop off something I’ll need later.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. NotAPunkRocker
    September 30, 2015 at 8:20 pm

    Hey, at least she got to keep the pretty mouse, right? πŸ™‚

    Like

    • October 1, 2015 at 7:10 am

      Every cloud and all that πŸ™‚

      Like

  6. September 30, 2015 at 9:14 pm

    I love how the fact that the other woman is from ACCOUNTS PAYABLE is what’s emphasized — too funny!

    Like

    • October 1, 2015 at 7:10 am

      If she’d been in Marketing, that would have been different πŸ™‚

      Like

  7. Lyn
    September 30, 2015 at 10:17 pm

    At first I felt sorry for her; then I realised the truth — as it could only be told by our D-Man πŸ™‚ Love the mouse!

    Like

  8. September 30, 2015 at 11:34 pm

    LOL! Question — did you consider not adding the last paragraph at any point? Of course then I wouldn’t have found out about Sally πŸ˜†

    Like

    • October 1, 2015 at 7:11 am

      Funnily enough, I did. It was just going to be a grieving widow, then I thought “hang on, that’s not me! Someone has to to die horribly!”

      Like

  9. September 30, 2015 at 11:51 pm

    Whoa! Don’t cross her path. But at least the ‘he’ and ‘she’ will be together forever?

    Like

    • October 1, 2015 at 7:12 am

      They’ll have that, I suppose! Nice and cosy in a hole. Or possibly many holes πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  10. October 1, 2015 at 12:19 am

    Hahaha! Jealousy has been going around in the flash fictions. LOL!

    Like

    • October 1, 2015 at 7:13 am

      It’s a popular topic, especially when it leads to murder most horrid πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  11. October 1, 2015 at 1:10 am

    Ooh, wicked.
    Randy

    Like

  12. October 1, 2015 at 1:30 am

    Wow – a movie in a story! Great job! Nan

    Like

    • October 1, 2015 at 7:14 am

      It would make a cool short film for someone at drama school πŸ™‚

      Like

  13. October 1, 2015 at 1:47 am

    Haw Haw Haw Haw Haw! LOL! πŸ˜€

    Like

  14. October 1, 2015 at 1:53 am

    i didn’t expect it would end that way. always beware of the scorned woman.

    Like

    • October 1, 2015 at 7:15 am

      A nearly called it “A Woman Scorned” but didn’t want to give the game away.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. October 1, 2015 at 2:19 am

    Whoa! Watch out! Revenge is sweet – I guess.

    Like

  16. October 1, 2015 at 2:23 am

    Loved it! Totally pulled me along and whammo!

    Like

    • October 1, 2015 at 7:15 am

      Just when you’re starting to feel sorry for her…
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  17. October 1, 2015 at 3:42 am

    At first I thought it was just a break up but then…Good twist at the end.

    Like

    • October 1, 2015 at 7:16 am

      I’m glad I managed to lead you down the wrong path. I’m happy you enjoyed the twist!

      Liked by 1 person

  18. October 1, 2015 at 4:35 am

    A magnificent fantasy, I’ve fantasized over a similar thought. Think I would skip the chainsaw add a bed of nails and bury them alive.
    Ahh to be that brave.
    Thanks DrAli for the good dreams.

    Like

    • October 1, 2015 at 7:17 am

      Blimey! πŸ™‚
      Funnily enough a couple of nights ago I had a dream about gutting someone with a kitchen knife. I wonder what that signifies? 😦

      Like

      • October 6, 2015 at 5:02 am

        knives need sharpening or
        you are hungry, pick one 😎

        Like

      • October 6, 2015 at 11:54 am

        Hungry usually πŸ™‚

        Like

  19. October 1, 2015 at 5:17 am

    All those computer searches will figure greatly at the trial! LOL Loved it!

    Like

    • October 1, 2015 at 7:19 am

      Ha, very true! Search history is being used more and more these days. Then they’ll come round and dig up her lovely new patio 😦

      Like

  20. October 1, 2015 at 7:05 am

    Do not upset the lady!

    Like

  21. October 1, 2015 at 7:17 am

    Sheesh… a couple hundred pounds of fertilizer, and she’s going to erect a concrete patio over it? She should look up a gardener instead…

    Like

    • October 1, 2015 at 7:24 am

      She’s not thinking straight! Think of the prize-winning roses she could grow.

      Like

      • October 1, 2015 at 7:26 am

        Yes! The biggest, brightest roses in the world. Those people from Accounts payable are so full of sh…. organic compounds!

        Like

  22. October 1, 2015 at 8:17 am

    Tee hee – love it!

    Like

    • October 1, 2015 at 12:26 pm

      I’m glad! There’s nothing like a humorously murderous twist πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  23. October 1, 2015 at 8:47 am

    I’m guessing she’s not a girl to take rejection lightly then! Nice one.

    Like

    • October 1, 2015 at 12:27 pm

      She’s also quite prone to overreact!

      Like

  24. October 1, 2015 at 9:17 am

    Dear Ali,

    Time for a little landscaping eh? Hell hath no fury…well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • October 1, 2015 at 12:28 pm

      Dear Rochelle,
      Thanks! New life, new patio πŸ™‚
      Ali

      Like

  25. October 1, 2015 at 9:38 am

    Ooh, dark and scary, Ali. O_o I wouldn’t dare watch a chain-saw movie. I’d have nightmares from then on. This reminds me of one of Agatha Christie’s books. No one used a chainsaw though. This was not a woman to cheat on. Well done. πŸ™‚ — Suzanne

    Like

    • October 1, 2015 at 12:29 pm

      I love watching people get chainsawed up (in fiction) πŸ™‚
      She’s definitely a woman to be kept happy at all costs.

      Like

  26. October 1, 2015 at 11:28 am

    I loved the quick flit between sorrow then murder, great job πŸ™‚

    Like

    • October 1, 2015 at 12:29 pm

      Thanks, that’s just what I was aiming for πŸ™‚

      Like

  27. October 1, 2015 at 12:58 pm

    Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
    Good piece.

    Like

    • October 1, 2015 at 7:13 pm

      Very true! And in this case, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned who has access to a chainsaw πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      • October 2, 2015 at 6:05 am

        Scorned woman and chainsaw is a most unhealthy mix.

        Like

  28. October 1, 2015 at 2:42 pm

    My my! I think she’s a wee bit p*ssed! Great story.

    Like

    • October 1, 2015 at 7:13 pm

      Just a little :-). I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  29. October 1, 2015 at 7:21 pm

    I love the way you did this, moving her through grief to covering her tracks. I felt sorry for her and then she turns into a proper FF bunny boiler!

    Like

    • October 1, 2015 at 7:34 pm

      I’m glad you liked the way I set this out. I thought it was about time for some good old-fashioned revenge here on FF πŸ™‚

      Like

  30. October 1, 2015 at 8:23 pm

    Never betray a woman with knowledge of how to mix concrete… chainsaw… last time I let someone be killed it was a meat-cleaver i think

    Like

    • October 2, 2015 at 7:43 am

      A meat cleaver works too, but it’s a lot more effort.

      Like

  31. October 1, 2015 at 11:54 pm

    Revenge: A dish best served with a chain saw. Funny stuff Ali.

    Like

  32. October 2, 2015 at 4:19 am

    That’s a very cool mouse. I could get my head behind it. Probably not the chain saw, though, especially not if used on me.

    Like

    • October 2, 2015 at 7:48 am

      I’m not sure if that mouse might make my eyes go funny πŸ™‚

      Like

  33. October 2, 2015 at 1:50 pm

    Great how you pulled us all along. Think twice before breaking a person’s heart, I say. I think that mouse brings out violent thoughts…

    Like

    • October 2, 2015 at 3:06 pm

      It is the sort of pattern which makes one go “rarrr!”
      I’m glad you liked it πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  34. October 4, 2015 at 6:10 pm

    Oh lovely. Really enjoyed that surprise ending.

    Like

    • October 4, 2015 at 7:10 pm

      Thanks, I’m glad you liked the twist!

      Like

  35. October 5, 2015 at 9:49 am

    Seems fair.

    Like

  36. October 6, 2015 at 8:49 pm

    Wow! She’s taking it rather well, isn’t she? Not vengeful, or spiteful, or anything like that!
    I loved the sad, sentimental drivelling over “his silly, ziggy-zaggy, beautiful mouse (that thought brought a lump to her throat),” which is quickly followed by her thought that they could “bloody well spend eternity” together.

    Like

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Speak to me - I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: