draliman on life

Here is my contribution for Laura’s fortnightly Literary Lion challenge. The Literary Lion has spoken, and this week’s prompt word is “limerick“.

The photograph was taken by Christopher Web (flikr) and supplied under a Creative Commons licence.

Mr Glass looked around the class.

“Right everyone, I hope you’ve done your homework. Randall, we’ll start with you.”

Randall stood up and began reading.

“Limerick is a town in Ireland, innit. It is in the province of Munster, yo. It…”

“Let me stop you there, Randall,” interrupted Mr Glass. “The assignment was to write a limerick, not to write about the town of Limerick.” The class tittered.

“Woah dere. I has spent hours…”

“… minutes at most…” broke in Mr Glass,

“… on dis!” finished Randall.

“I’m sorry, Randall, but…”

“Right! Here is a limerick den, yo!” Randall began to make boom-box noises.

“I does da homework on time,
But Mr Glass he wants a rhyme,
I was doin’ jus’ fine,
All dahn the line,
An’ I don’ do drugs,
‘Cos I ain’t no mug,
Rub-a-dubba-dub. Pshhhhhhh… the Word. Yo.”

The class burst into appreciative applause.

“Randall,” said the long-suffering Glass, “two things. One, that barely makes sense. Two, that’s a rap, not a limerick.”

“Oh man, it’s like I can’t do nuffin’ right!” exclaimed Randall. “Okay den, here’s a limerick for ya!

“Dere once wuz a teacher named Glass,
Who always had trouble in class,
He hates all da kidz,
Now his life’s on da skidz,
He could do wiv a kick up da…”

“RANDALL!”