Home > Fiction > Friday Fictioneers – Pioneer Monkey

Friday Fictioneers – Pioneer Monkey

Here is my story for this week’s Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo is by Dale Rogerson. Thanks, Dale!

To read this week’s other contributions, click on the blue froggy.

Copyright Dale Rogerson

Copyright Dale Rogerson

 

“What-ho, Simpkins, our submersible prototype returns!”

“Indeed, Pendergast. But wait, it is full to the brim with water!”

“Dash it. Quickly, retrieve the monkey.” They opened the hatch and pulled out a rather waterlogged simian.

“How fares he, Simpkins?” asked Pendergast.

“Speak to me, Chester!” shouted Simpkins, hammering on the monkey’s chest. Water spouted from its mouth.

Ook.

“Thank Heavens! Chester lives!”

“A palpable success, Simpkins,” said Pendergast. “I’ll wager you’re glad to be out of there, Chester!”

Ook! Ook!

“Tomorrow,” said Simpkins, “we shall trial our rocket ship, powered only by the flatulence of cattle. To the stars, Chester!”

Ooooook.

 

  1. October 28, 2015 at 8:15 pm

    aaah yes a fart powered star ship, whatever will you come up with next? 😀

    Like

  2. October 28, 2015 at 8:20 pm

    Cattle farts are extremely powerful. Or so I have heard. 🙂

    Like

    • October 28, 2015 at 8:39 pm

      I’ve heard that too! Chester has nothing to worry about 🙂

      Like

  3. October 28, 2015 at 9:10 pm

    Poor Chester. Riding to the stars on cow farts. I suppose it’s beats drowning 🙂

    Like

    • October 29, 2015 at 8:35 am

      Way better than drowning 🙂 I’m sure he’ll have fun up there.

      Like

  4. October 28, 2015 at 9:24 pm

    Poor Chester (BTW that’s a great simian name)… I think he fared better than Laika at least.

    Like

    • October 29, 2015 at 8:36 am

      It took me a while to think of an appropriate monkey name! Our intrepid inventors have devised a return strategy, so at least Chester has a chance of returning.

      Like

  5. October 28, 2015 at 9:31 pm

    Thank goodness I didn’t have a mouthful of water! I would’ve surely spurted it all over my screen. What a hoot! (And you are most welcome!)

    Like

    • October 29, 2015 at 8:38 am

      It’s nice of you to want to recreate the “Chester resuscitation scene” 🙂
      I’m glad it made you laugh.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. October 28, 2015 at 10:04 pm

    Dear Ali,

    I’m afraid you channeled your inner Russell for this one. 😉 😯 If only we could use cattle flatulence as a power source we’d never have to worry, would we?Glad the monkey didn’t drown. I give your story a hearty ook! ook!

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • Lyn
      October 29, 2015 at 6:15 am

      Oh I never thought of that Rochelle, but you are absolutely correct 😀

      Like

    • October 29, 2015 at 8:40 am

      Dear Rochelle,
      They’re looking at methane at the moment so maybe one day it will become widespread, though I doubt it will ever get us to the stars 🙂
      I couldn’t drown the poor monkey. Thanks for the double ook!
      Ali

      Like

  7. F. Smith
    October 28, 2015 at 10:28 pm

    Laika came to mind while reading, though I do not believe Sputnik 2 was powered by flatulence.

    Like

    • October 29, 2015 at 8:41 am

      It may have been! Yet another secret locked in the files 🙂 At least Chester will be coming home (our inventors have thought of that), unlike poor Laika.

      Like

  8. October 29, 2015 at 12:29 am

    Whew! I’m glad the monkey survived all that. It doesn’t sound like it’s over for poor Chester. He’s such a trooper.Very funny, Ali! I love your name choices. They’re perfect.

    Like

    • October 29, 2015 at 8:41 am

      Chester is game for anything! I’m sure he’ll be fine during his orbital adventure 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  9. October 29, 2015 at 1:30 am

    Made me do that dreaded thing, made me LOL! (There, I’ve used that horrid slang abbreviation-thingy!)
    That was VERY funny, and very cleverly written, Drali!

    Like

    • October 29, 2015 at 8:42 am

      I’m glad it made you LOL 🙂 I had the submarine idea early on but it took me all day to think up an ending.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Lyn
    October 29, 2015 at 6:13 am

    LOL you never cease to amaze me with your imagination 🙂 Oh, and they say that sheep are even worse than cattle. They have a “fart tax” in New Zealand 🙂

    Like

    • October 29, 2015 at 8:45 am

      Wow, I never heard of such a thing!
      Our inventors will be able to use sheep to make their rocket ship even more powerful 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  11. October 29, 2015 at 7:29 am

    I just love the P.G. Wodehouse language. Hope the monkey has a stiff upper lip.

    Like

    • October 29, 2015 at 8:46 am

      He’s very proper, having been raised in the “correct” environment, and game for anything!

      Liked by 1 person

  12. October 29, 2015 at 8:05 am

    Hilarious, Ali. This was LOL funny for sure. Poor Chester. I wonder if that will catch on, and countries around the world will be farting their way to other planets. Well done. 😀 — Suzanne

    Like

    • October 29, 2015 at 8:47 am

      That would be cool. The only fuel you’d need to take on a long space journey would be loads of cabbage and baked beans 🙂

      Like

  13. October 29, 2015 at 10:55 am

    Chester’s a busy little Simian. Very funny, made me chuckle.

    Like

    • October 29, 2015 at 3:20 pm

      He is! He’s the inventors’ go-to monkey for all their risky projects 🙂

      Like

  14. October 29, 2015 at 12:04 pm

    I could open my own gas pump. 😛 Poor Chester, wonder where he’ll end up next.

    Like

    • October 29, 2015 at 3:22 pm

      Hopefully he’ll have enough “fuel” to get home. Maybe you could go with him? 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  15. October 29, 2015 at 12:11 pm

    I’m laughing so much about story and comments… this is a hoot. Poor Chester, I hope he gets a good reward. Ook is a good word.

    Like

    • October 29, 2015 at 3:24 pm

      I think I got “ook” from Terry Pratchett’s orangutan librarian. I’m glad it made you laugh 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • October 30, 2015 at 9:24 pm

        But of course… That’s why it sounded so familiar. Ook should be used more often. 😀

        Like

      • October 30, 2015 at 9:43 pm

        For sure. It sounds “right” for a money (or “ape” in the case of the Librarian!).

        Like

  16. October 29, 2015 at 1:51 pm

    Cheerful chortles.

    Like

  17. October 29, 2015 at 3:09 pm

    Very entertaining. Poor Chester, hope he fairs better next time. How may I ask do they plan to trap the flatulence?

    Like

  18. October 29, 2015 at 4:03 pm

    Is this story environmentally friendly or environmentally unfriendly- from the point of view of the poor cow, that is?

    Like

    • October 29, 2015 at 7:52 pm

      I’m sure the cows are well rid, and it’s all very green, as long as the gas all burns off of course. Otherwise it can all get a bit pongy 🙂

      Like

  19. October 29, 2015 at 6:00 pm

    LOL. Poor Chester. I think Pendergast should go. Like the take with the submarine. 🙂

    Like

    • October 29, 2015 at 7:53 pm

      You’re right, why should poor Chester take all the risks, especially after his submarine ordeal? It’s Pendergast’s space ship, after all!

      Liked by 1 person

  20. October 29, 2015 at 8:15 pm

    Another of your laugh of loud pieces, love the dialogue 🙂

    Like

    • October 29, 2015 at 8:34 pm

      I’m glad you enjoyed it and found it funny 🙂

      Like

  21. October 29, 2015 at 8:33 pm

    In space, nobody can hear you fart….

    Like

    • October 29, 2015 at 8:35 pm

      Ha ha, I wish I’d thought of that 🙂

      Like

  22. October 29, 2015 at 8:36 pm

    I think you just shocked the monkey.

    Like

    • October 29, 2015 at 8:46 pm

      I think the poor thing was hoping for a couple of days off.

      Like

  23. October 29, 2015 at 9:41 pm

    this is one for the books. great story. 🙂

    Like

  24. October 30, 2015 at 1:18 am

    I think he will return and extract his revenge after undergoing an interesting change! Bwa ha!

    Like

    • October 30, 2015 at 11:53 am

      Like a freak solar flare turns him into Chester the Super Monkey 🙂

      Like

  25. October 30, 2015 at 5:08 pm

    Loved the tone of your characters.
    To infinity and beyond, Chester.
    Surely, man’s inventiveness knows no bounds.
    Damn the monkey. Full speed ahead.

    Randy

    Like

    • October 30, 2015 at 8:25 pm

      No, don’t damn the monkey! Poor Chester 😦
      I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Like

  26. October 31, 2015 at 3:57 am

    So funny. Cow farts. Those scientists are crazy and poor Chester. 🙂

    Like

    • October 31, 2015 at 9:24 am

      Crazy indeed! Chester is saner than both of them – he’s pretty sure this isn’t going to end well 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  27. October 31, 2015 at 4:19 pm

    Reminds of some children’s poem that goes like…” the cow jumped over the moon…”

    Nice funny take on the prompt.

    Like

    • October 31, 2015 at 5:39 pm

      Oh yes, “Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle…” These cows might make it over the moon, there are sure to be a couple on board as “emergency fuel sources” 🙂
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  28. October 31, 2015 at 7:02 pm

    I’m glad someone is finally making use of the flatulence of cattle, it’s been a wasted resource for too long.

    Like

  29. October 31, 2015 at 10:07 pm

    Fart power can be powerful stuff – but powering a ‘star ship’ into the great unknown might just be expecting a bit much. Think of poor old Chester! How much more can the little fella take.

    Like

    • November 1, 2015 at 6:28 am

      Yes, I think they may be pushing their luck with this one. I only hope that little Chester has some sort of escape pod 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • November 1, 2015 at 11:59 am

        Would that be fart-powered too? 😀

        Like

      • November 1, 2015 at 4:27 pm

        Definitely! Fart-powered transport is the future.

        Liked by 1 person

  30. November 1, 2015 at 10:21 pm

    Yes, the power of flatulence! Speaking of which, I feel something coming on …

    Like

  31. Adam Ickes
    November 2, 2015 at 1:35 am

    Why do I feel like Chester is the smartest one in that bunch? Good stuff!

    Like

    • November 2, 2015 at 12:58 pm

      Chester should definitely be in charge. Things might go more smoothly!

      Liked by 1 person

  32. November 3, 2015 at 2:27 am

    The RSPCA would have a field day with that – after they stopped laughing at the idea of a fart powered rocket.

    Like

    • November 3, 2015 at 7:34 am

      I don’t think Chester is all that happy at the space rocket plan – maybe he’ll give them a ring!

      Liked by 1 person

  33. November 8, 2015 at 12:06 am

    I hope that tom,morrow is Chester’s day off. They should take turns with their adventures! Share the glory! Good luck Chester!

    Like

    • November 8, 2015 at 8:40 am

      Yeah, equal rights for monkeys! He deserves a day off after all that.

      Liked by 1 person

      • November 8, 2015 at 1:20 pm

        NAERM…The National Association for Equal Rights for Monkeys. ???

        Like

      • November 8, 2015 at 2:24 pm

        Or maybe the Apes and Simians Society (A.S.S).

        Liked by 1 person

      • November 8, 2015 at 3:20 pm

        HaHaHa

        Like

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