Friday Fictioneers – People in Glass Houses
Here is my little story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted every week by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by C.E. Ayr.
To read the other stories, click on the blue froggy.
Copyright C.E. Ayr
“What’s that, Daddy?” asked little Sammie.
“That,” replied Daddy, “is a cattle grate for ants.”
“Geoffrey!” snapped Mummy. “It’s a drain, Sammie.”
“Ooh,” said Sammie. “Is Daddy a liar then, Mummy?”
“Yes, Sammie,” replied Mummy, “he is. That’s why I’m divorcing him.”
“Gahhhh!” yelled Daddy, eyeballs bulging. “You &&*$^%^% what?!”
“Language, Geoffrey,” said Mummy calmly.
“What’s ‘divorce’, Mummy?” asked Sammie.
“That’s when Mummy loved Daddy very much, but Daddy turned out to be a womanising asshat so she’s throwing him out,” explained Mummy.
“Ooh,” said Sammie. “Should I call Uncle Frank ‘Daddy’ from now on, then?”
“Frank from Accounting?!” yelled Daddy.
“Gahhhh!” exclaimed Mummy.
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draliman on life 
Whoa! Twists and turns everywhere in this. Whose tricking who? I enjoyed the idea of a cattle grate for ants. made me smile.
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Everyone is up to no good, it seems 🙂
There would be fewer ants in kitchens if everyone had one of these.
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What a great title for this story. It seems the pair of them have been playing away. I like the way the truth emerges during a discussion about a drain for ants! Great interaction between the characters.
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It’s always the little things that blow the lid off the simmering kettle of lies 🙂
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Wow, that’s some dysfunctional family, Ali. And all that because of a sewer drain. Hilarious. 😀 — Suzanne
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It all had to come out sometime 🙂
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Excellent usage of the word asshat, I am so proud. 😀
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I originally used a different word and then thought, “no, wait, what would Mer do?” 🙂
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Haha! 🙂
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Asshat – ha ha
I like it
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It’s the best word ever 🙂
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Right? I’m saving it for a crabby day. Although being retired, I don’t run into as many asshats.
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🙂
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From the mouths of babes … 🙂
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The poor mite had no idea what she was starting 🙂
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If you like pina coladas, getting caught in the rain….
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🙂
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This is why children shouldn’t be pulled into adult conversations. LOL …funny dialogue.
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Not the best situation for all this to come out 🙂
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OMgoodness.
TMI.
Very funny. 😉 I’m still smiling as i write this.
Randy
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I don’t think Sammie needed to know all of that! Poor kid 🙂
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Too funny! haha
I’m always very careful to watch what I say around my daughter. It’s only a matter of time before I slip up and she calls somebody something she shouldn’t. I’m surprised I’ve lasted this long honestly!
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I’m also careful when I’m around my friends’ kids. I’m babysitting tonight, must be on my best behaviour 🙂
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Kids know more than we give ’em credit for! 🙂
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She’s probably already making plans while mummy and daddy thrash it out in the middle of the street 🙂
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Children!!!
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Yup 🙂
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So funny.. i love Mummys tone..
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Very calm and collected – until her secret comes out too 🙂
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True..enjoyed the story
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🙂
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This was such great, vivid dialogue. I started to smile at the ant grate, chuckled with the divorce and laughed out loud in the end. Wonderful.
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Levels of humour 🙂
I’m glad you liked it!
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Dear Ali,
You do know how to turn a story on his ear. From the mouths of babes. You made me laugh out loud. Bravo!
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
I’m glad you liked it! I had a few ideas but this was the only comedy one and after last week’s photo I felt it was comedy time 🙂
Ali
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Brilliant.
Laughing aloud.
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Glad you enjoyed it! I like to make people laugh 🙂 Thanks for the photo!
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Out of the mouths of babes…….
Very funny.
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You never know what they’re going to say next!
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Lying to kids is dangerous, but not near so dangerous, as asking them to lie for you.
Good piece.
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Yes, they’re bound to screw it up at some point 🙂
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Or fulfill their destinies?
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Brilliant!!
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Thanks 🙂
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This was hilarious. Asshat… yep.. gonna add that one to my dictionary. Funny how it is so easy to accuse another of the same crime as you are committing. Poor Sammie (funny.. 2 stories with the name Sammie, this week)
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I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂 “Asshat” is one of my favourite words.
There’s a bit of a “good for the goose, good for the gander” situation going on here!
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Hilarious story. ❤
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Glad you liked it!
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Great dialogue, if only the parents had tried it 😉
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These parents don’t have the sense they were born with 🙂
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sammie should take up law when he grows up. he’d be great as a prosecutor. 🙂
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He certainly seems to have a knack of getting the truth out of people 🙂
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I love the little boy in the story. Not sure I cared so much for the Mother or Father …doesn’t sound like they are handling things so well. Good story 🙂
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You’re right – Sammie pretty much has everything worked out, but Mummy and Daddy have a way to go, I think!
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Children say the darnest things.
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Yep! Bless ’em 🙂
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Oh my…I foresee years of counseling for said son.
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I reckon he’ll be okay, though. He seems a tough little chap 🙂
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HaHaHa! That was hilarious. I will be smiling for the rest of the day! 😀
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I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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Oh, good old Uncle Frank. Oh, how sad, but very funny how you wrote it. I suppose it was only a matter of time for these two.
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Yes, it sounds like they’ve both been “playing away” for quite some time. The ubiquitous “Uncle Frank” 🙂
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This made me laugh. Good job.
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Thanks! I’m glad you liked it 🙂
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And to think, it all started with a grate question! 😉 Funny piece and well done!
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Heh, yes. Funny how a flippant answer to an innocent question can suddenly lead to such a blow-out 🙂 Thanks!
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🙂
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Sad to say it’s how a lot of divorcees talk to one another, no matter where their children are standing. The cause of the worst divorces and it’s the children who pay the price! While humorous it;s also very real. Well done!
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Thanks!
I can imagine adults getting so caught up in what’s going on they forget their kids are right there.
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Sounds like the score is even, at least. Nice dialogue.
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Yes, one’s as bad as the other!
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Out of the mouths of babes!!! Great job!
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Indeed! Thanks.
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Of course, “asshat” is only effective as an insult if said with an American accent, so I assume this little family scene occurred in the U.S. Said with a British accent, asshat just sounds silly. And if you tried saying it here I think you’d be laughed out of town. You may as well call your opponent a bumhead & expect to be taken seriously.
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“Asshat” is multi-national. Try it out! It’s my new favourite word (which I’ve never used out loud for fear of getting laughed at).
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At your bidding, I just tried it out, quietly in privacy. It sounded unconvincing. My favourite insult is f*ckwit, I make great use of it when I’m driving & am by myself.
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Yep, that’s another good one! More likely to get you beaten up, though 🙂
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Oh my, this was so funny!!! Great job, I really like this. 😀
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Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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MOL… purrfect story 🙂 Pawkisses 🙂 ❤
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Thanks 🙂
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