Home > Fiction > Friday Fictioneers – People in Glass Houses

Friday Fictioneers – People in Glass Houses

Here is my little story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted  every week by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by C.E. Ayr.

To read the other stories, click on the blue froggy.

Copyright C.E. Ayr

Copyright C.E. Ayr

 

“What’s that, Daddy?” asked little Sammie.

“That,” replied Daddy, “is a cattle grate for ants.”

“Geoffrey!” snapped Mummy. “It’s a drain, Sammie.”

“Ooh,” said Sammie. “Is Daddy a liar then, Mummy?”

“Yes, Sammie,” replied Mummy, “he is. That’s why I’m divorcing him.”

“Gahhhh!” yelled Daddy, eyeballs bulging. “You &&*$^%^% what?!”

“Language, Geoffrey,” said Mummy calmly.

“What’s ‘divorce’, Mummy?” asked Sammie.

“That’s when Mummy loved Daddy very much, but Daddy turned out to be a womanising asshat so she’s throwing him out,” explained Mummy.

“Ooh,” said Sammie. “Should I call Uncle Frank ‘Daddy’ from now on, then?”

“Frank from Accounting?!” yelled Daddy.

“Gahhhh!” exclaimed Mummy.

 

  1. November 18, 2015 at 8:25 pm

    Whoa! Twists and turns everywhere in this. Whose tricking who? I enjoyed the idea of a cattle grate for ants. made me smile.

    Like

    • November 19, 2015 at 7:55 am

      Everyone is up to no good, it seems 🙂
      There would be fewer ants in kitchens if everyone had one of these.

      Like

  2. November 18, 2015 at 9:41 pm

    What a great title for this story. It seems the pair of them have been playing away. I like the way the truth emerges during a discussion about a drain for ants! Great interaction between the characters.

    Like

    • November 19, 2015 at 7:56 am

      It’s always the little things that blow the lid off the simmering kettle of lies 🙂

      Like

  3. November 18, 2015 at 9:42 pm

    Wow, that’s some dysfunctional family, Ali. And all that because of a sewer drain. Hilarious. 😀 — Suzanne

    Like

    • November 19, 2015 at 7:56 am

      It all had to come out sometime 🙂

      Like

  4. November 18, 2015 at 10:48 pm

    Excellent usage of the word asshat, I am so proud. 😀

    Like

    • November 19, 2015 at 7:57 am

      I originally used a different word and then thought, “no, wait, what would Mer do?” 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. November 18, 2015 at 10:57 pm

    Asshat – ha ha
    I like it

    Like

  6. November 18, 2015 at 10:59 pm

    From the mouths of babes … 🙂

    Like

    • November 19, 2015 at 7:58 am

      The poor mite had no idea what she was starting 🙂

      Like

  7. November 18, 2015 at 11:24 pm

    If you like pina coladas, getting caught in the rain….

    Like

  8. November 19, 2015 at 1:50 am

    This is why children shouldn’t be pulled into adult conversations. LOL …funny dialogue.

    Like

    • November 19, 2015 at 8:00 am

      Not the best situation for all this to come out 🙂

      Like

  9. November 19, 2015 at 2:11 am

    OMgoodness.
    TMI.
    Very funny. 😉 I’m still smiling as i write this.
    Randy

    Like

    • November 19, 2015 at 8:01 am

      I don’t think Sammie needed to know all of that! Poor kid 🙂

      Like

  10. Adam Ickes
    November 19, 2015 at 2:53 am

    Too funny! haha

    I’m always very careful to watch what I say around my daughter. It’s only a matter of time before I slip up and she calls somebody something she shouldn’t. I’m surprised I’ve lasted this long honestly!

    Like

    • November 19, 2015 at 8:03 am

      I’m also careful when I’m around my friends’ kids. I’m babysitting tonight, must be on my best behaviour 🙂

      Like

  11. November 19, 2015 at 4:20 am

    Kids know more than we give ’em credit for! 🙂

    Like

    • November 19, 2015 at 8:04 am

      She’s probably already making plans while mummy and daddy thrash it out in the middle of the street 🙂

      Like

  12. November 19, 2015 at 6:48 am

    Children!!!

    Like

  13. Lata Sunil
    November 19, 2015 at 6:52 am

    So funny.. i love Mummys tone..

    Like

    • November 19, 2015 at 8:05 am

      Very calm and collected – until her secret comes out too 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Lata Sunil
        November 19, 2015 at 8:23 am

        True..enjoyed the story

        Like

      • November 19, 2015 at 1:50 pm

        🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  14. November 19, 2015 at 11:25 am

    This was such great, vivid dialogue. I started to smile at the ant grate, chuckled with the divorce and laughed out loud in the end. Wonderful.

    Like

  15. November 19, 2015 at 11:26 am

    Dear Ali,

    You do know how to turn a story on his ear. From the mouths of babes. You made me laugh out loud. Bravo!

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • November 19, 2015 at 1:52 pm

      Dear Rochelle,
      I’m glad you liked it! I had a few ideas but this was the only comedy one and after last week’s photo I felt it was comedy time 🙂
      Ali

      Like

  16. November 19, 2015 at 12:37 pm

    Brilliant.
    Laughing aloud.

    Like

    • November 19, 2015 at 1:57 pm

      Glad you enjoyed it! I like to make people laugh 🙂 Thanks for the photo!

      Like

  17. November 19, 2015 at 1:14 pm

    Out of the mouths of babes…….
    Very funny.

    Like

  18. November 19, 2015 at 1:19 pm

    Lying to kids is dangerous, but not near so dangerous, as asking them to lie for you.
    Good piece.

    Like

    • November 19, 2015 at 1:58 pm

      Yes, they’re bound to screw it up at some point 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • November 19, 2015 at 2:14 pm

        Or fulfill their destinies?

        Like

  19. November 19, 2015 at 3:22 pm

    Brilliant!!

    Like

  20. November 19, 2015 at 3:50 pm

    This was hilarious. Asshat… yep.. gonna add that one to my dictionary. Funny how it is so easy to accuse another of the same crime as you are committing. Poor Sammie (funny.. 2 stories with the name Sammie, this week)

    Like

    • November 19, 2015 at 4:27 pm

      I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂 “Asshat” is one of my favourite words.
      There’s a bit of a “good for the goose, good for the gander” situation going on here!

      Like

  21. November 19, 2015 at 5:19 pm

    Hilarious story. ❤

    Like

  22. November 19, 2015 at 8:17 pm

    Great dialogue, if only the parents had tried it 😉

    Like

    • November 19, 2015 at 8:49 pm

      These parents don’t have the sense they were born with 🙂

      Like

  23. November 19, 2015 at 8:52 pm

    sammie should take up law when he grows up. he’d be great as a prosecutor. 🙂

    Like

    • November 19, 2015 at 8:54 pm

      He certainly seems to have a knack of getting the truth out of people 🙂

      Like

  24. November 19, 2015 at 10:32 pm

    I love the little boy in the story. Not sure I cared so much for the Mother or Father …doesn’t sound like they are handling things so well. Good story 🙂

    Like

    • November 22, 2015 at 5:45 am

      You’re right – Sammie pretty much has everything worked out, but Mummy and Daddy have a way to go, I think!

      Like

  25. November 19, 2015 at 11:18 pm

    Children say the darnest things.

    Like

  26. November 20, 2015 at 12:15 am

    Oh my…I foresee years of counseling for said son. :/

    Like

    • November 22, 2015 at 5:52 am

      I reckon he’ll be okay, though. He seems a tough little chap 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  27. November 20, 2015 at 3:43 am

    HaHaHa! That was hilarious. I will be smiling for the rest of the day! 😀

    Like

  28. November 20, 2015 at 4:07 am

    Oh, good old Uncle Frank. Oh, how sad, but very funny how you wrote it. I suppose it was only a matter of time for these two.

    Like

    • November 22, 2015 at 5:55 am

      Yes, it sounds like they’ve both been “playing away” for quite some time. The ubiquitous “Uncle Frank” 🙂

      Like

  29. November 20, 2015 at 5:14 am

    This made me laugh. Good job.

    Like

  30. November 21, 2015 at 6:57 pm

    And to think, it all started with a grate question! 😉 Funny piece and well done!

    Like

    • November 22, 2015 at 5:56 am

      Heh, yes. Funny how a flippant answer to an innocent question can suddenly lead to such a blow-out 🙂 Thanks!

      Liked by 1 person

  31. November 21, 2015 at 10:56 pm

    Sad to say it’s how a lot of divorcees talk to one another, no matter where their children are standing. The cause of the worst divorces and it’s the children who pay the price! While humorous it;s also very real. Well done!

    Like

    • November 22, 2015 at 5:58 am

      Thanks!
      I can imagine adults getting so caught up in what’s going on they forget their kids are right there.

      Liked by 1 person

  32. November 22, 2015 at 11:37 am

    Sounds like the score is even, at least. Nice dialogue.

    Like

    • November 22, 2015 at 4:59 pm

      Yes, one’s as bad as the other!

      Like

  33. November 24, 2015 at 2:13 am

    Out of the mouths of babes!!! Great job!

    Like

  34. November 24, 2015 at 11:23 am

    Of course, “asshat” is only effective as an insult if said with an American accent, so I assume this little family scene occurred in the U.S. Said with a British accent, asshat just sounds silly. And if you tried saying it here I think you’d be laughed out of town. You may as well call your opponent a bumhead & expect to be taken seriously.

    Like

    • November 24, 2015 at 11:35 am

      “Asshat” is multi-national. Try it out! It’s my new favourite word (which I’ve never used out loud for fear of getting laughed at).

      Liked by 1 person

      • November 24, 2015 at 11:57 am

        At your bidding, I just tried it out, quietly in privacy. It sounded unconvincing. My favourite insult is f*ckwit, I make great use of it when I’m driving & am by myself.

        Like

      • November 24, 2015 at 2:27 pm

        Yep, that’s another good one! More likely to get you beaten up, though 🙂

        Like

  35. November 24, 2015 at 2:49 pm

    Oh my, this was so funny!!! Great job, I really like this. 😀

    Like

  36. November 26, 2015 at 8:29 am

    MOL… purrfect story 🙂 Pawkisses 🙂 ❤

    Like

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Speak to me - I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: