Home > Fiction > FFftPP – Terry McGraw, Idiot Thief

FFftPP – Terry McGraw, Idiot Thief

Here is my story for Roger’s Flash Fiction for the Purposeful Practitioner challenge. To read this week’s other stories click on the blue frog.

The supplied opening sentence is in bold in my story. Since I wanted a sort of lead-in, I’ve popped it in a little further down. The image is public domain and was sourced here.

Public domain image

Public domain image

 

Gather round, dear friends, and listen to the sad story of Terry McGraw, Idiot Thief…

The last time, everything fit in three duffels.

This time it took five.

If he hadn’t been disturbed mid-burgle, he wouldn’t have had to leave the duffels hidden at the back of the conference room of the hotel. He was going back for them.

If he hadn’t been in such a rush, he would have done his research. If he had half a brain he wouldn’t have gone back tonight of all nights.

Because he went in the back he didn’t see the banners.

Because he crept through the bushes he didn’t see the cars.

Because he snuck in through a service door he didn’t get a good look at the arrivals.

If he’d stopped to listen he wouldn’t have burst through the service door.

If he’d taken a moment to stop and take notice he would have seen the banner above the stage – ‘New York Police Department Annual Awards Ceremony’.

If he’d had an ounce of sense he wouldn’t have drawn his gun.

And here ends the story, dear friends, of the late unlamented Terry McGraw, Idiot Thief, RIP.

Categories: Fiction Tags: ,
  1. January 30, 2016 at 11:43 am

    And so ends the story of Terry McGraw. The dumbest thief that you ever saw. Well done, Ali. 😀 — Suzanne

    Like

    • January 31, 2016 at 7:43 am

      Yeah, he was pretty stupid 🙂

      Like

  2. January 30, 2016 at 2:49 pm

    Love the stories of the dumbest criminals, so many of them and here we have another! 🙂 Well done! I love the humor!

    Like

    • January 31, 2016 at 7:44 am

      Me too! Sometimes they come up in the news, getting caught for the doing the stupidest things. Hilarious 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. January 30, 2016 at 3:32 pm

    My gosh, he is an idiot thief! Right into the middle of the New York City’s Police Department Annual Awards Ceremony! Hahahaha! Very creative Ali!

    Like

    • January 31, 2016 at 7:44 am

      To be fair, it was a piece of enormously bad luck for him 🙂

      Like

  4. January 30, 2016 at 7:11 pm

    A cop friend of mine once said if the criminals weren’t so stupid, they’d never catch any of them.

    Like

    • January 31, 2016 at 7:45 am

      Three cheers for the idiot criminal.

      Like

  5. January 30, 2016 at 9:34 pm

    LOL!!!!

    Like

  6. January 30, 2016 at 11:15 pm

    I want to feel sorry for him. I really do. I’ll give him credit for trying. Maybe he’ll get a posthumous participation medal?

    Like

  7. January 31, 2016 at 11:19 am

    This was simply hilarious.
    XD

    Like

  8. January 31, 2016 at 3:46 pm

    How funny. Proves the point the most criminals are the sharpest tool in the shed.

    Like

    • January 31, 2016 at 4:34 pm

      Certainly not this one. What an idiot 🙂

      Like

  9. February 1, 2016 at 2:56 am

    HaHaHaHa. I am imagining his face. Oooops! 😀

    Like

  10. February 1, 2016 at 3:19 am

    Clever! I really enjoyed the transition of your story. Well done, ali! 😀

    Like

    • February 1, 2016 at 12:44 pm

      Thanks! Poor, stupid, Terry 🙂

      Like

  11. February 2, 2016 at 8:56 am

    Ha ha ha ha…stupid idiot..MOL 😀 Pawkisses 🙂 ❤

    Like

  12. February 2, 2016 at 9:49 pm

    A very funny story, Ali. 🙂 He really should have taken more care!

    Like

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