Home > Fiction > FF – Plug Gate

FF – Plug Gate

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, the 100 word challenge hosted by Rochelle with a photo this week by C. E. Ayr.

I did think of a dark story to do with the take over of jobs by machines, but in the end I went for this ridiculous little news story.

To read the other stories, click on the blue froggy.

Copyright C. E. Ayr

Copyright C. E. Ayr

 

Excerpt from The Daily Prattle

The inquest into the “PlugGate” incident on Britain’s railways, which last April caused 745 deaths and millions of pounds of damage, closed today.

The coroner heard that the new Automated Railway Signalling Equipment (ARSE) system was deactivated when contract cleaner Mrs Moira Dimple, 47, unplugged it as she, in her own words, “needed somewhere to plug in my vacuum cleaner, dearie.

National Rail has reassured customers that such a disaster could never happen again as they have “invested in loads of Sellotape to stick over the plug sockets”.

This reporter remains sceptical and will be taking the bus.

 

  1. January 11, 2017 at 8:50 pm

    *chuckle*. Well done.

    Like

    • January 12, 2017 at 7:59 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Like

  2. January 11, 2017 at 8:54 pm

    Delightful! Thank you for the chuckle. 🙂

    Like

  3. January 11, 2017 at 8:57 pm

    Must have been a real arse who designed the system. With the inevitable price rise of sellotape, this reporter wonders if collusion was afoot! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • January 12, 2017 at 8:01 am

      Ha, someone’s indubitably on the take 🙂 But to be fair, Sellotape’s the only sticky tape I’ve ever been able to rip without using scissors or my teeth!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. January 11, 2017 at 9:05 pm

    There’s a great scene in “The Money Pit” where Shelly Long unplugs something so she can use her hair dryer and there’s one of those domino events. Hilarious. If you haven’t seen the movie, it is one that every home owner should see. This really reminded me of it.

    Like

    • January 12, 2017 at 8:07 am

      There’s also a Red Dwarf episode where they’re in the middle of an emergency when suddenly all the consoles go dead to the sound of the Cat’s hair dryer 🙂
      “What, unplug my hot wax unsightly hair remover?”
      “Yes, unplug your hot wax unsightly hair remover!”
      “Unbelievable. A space ship five miles long and they don’t fit enough plug sockets in the scanner room.”
      (Apologies for misquotes, I can’t be bothered to Google it.)

      I saw “The Money Pit” years ago, and also the film I imagine it was a remake of, “Mr Blandings Builds his Dream House”.

      Like

  5. January 11, 2017 at 9:10 pm

    I’ll take the bus too, great laugh. My idea from the prompt took a similar, if less hilarious, direction.

    Like

  6. January 11, 2017 at 9:21 pm

    I think ARSE would make me take the bus too… but I think that they have a similar system for redlights

    Like

    • January 12, 2017 at 8:09 am

      ARSE is sadly everywhere these days…

      Like

  7. Graham Lawrence
    January 11, 2017 at 9:34 pm

    Nice find : Automated Railway Signalling Equipment (ARSE) 🙂

    Like

    • January 12, 2017 at 8:11 am

      It took me ages to think of a suitable acronym involving a derogatory word when suddenly this rather obvious one popped into my head!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Graham Lawrence
        January 12, 2017 at 8:41 am

        Well done!

        Like

  8. Lyn
    January 11, 2017 at 11:23 pm

    LOL Yes Minister comes to mind 😀

    Like

    • January 12, 2017 at 8:11 am

      Ha, yes! I’m sure Sir Humphrey would have put a stop to it, though 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  9. January 12, 2017 at 3:40 am

    i love the dry sense of humor. you did it again. 🙂

    Like

  10. January 12, 2017 at 5:25 am

    What a fun and funny piece. I love the Sellotape solution. Oh, yeah, that ought to work! Delightful.

    Like

    • January 12, 2017 at 8:12 am

      What could possibly go wrong? 🙂
      I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Like

  11. January 12, 2017 at 6:28 am

    I’m pretty sure ARSE could be brought down by a charging cellphone as well. After all, there’s apparently only one plug, and bring able to check in on Facebook is the priority….

    Like

    • January 12, 2017 at 8:13 am

      Where presumably you would find many posts warning about travelling on the rail network due to multiple unexplained signal failures…

      Like

  12. January 12, 2017 at 10:11 am

    🙂 And yet not so farcical int his day and age.

    Like

    • January 12, 2017 at 11:08 am

      Sadly no! My house (mid-1970s) doesn’t have nearly enough plug sockets (certainly not enough to be plugging in stuff like vacuum cleaners).

      Liked by 1 person

  13. January 12, 2017 at 10:20 am

    Dear Ali,

    Sounds like the new system is a bit of a pain in the…Nicely done. Made me laugh from start to finish. Thank you for that.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • January 12, 2017 at 11:08 am

      Dear Rochelle,
      You’re welcome for the laugh 🙂 I’m glad I went for the comedy story rather than the dark(ish) one.
      Ali

      Liked by 1 person

  14. michael1148humphris
    January 12, 2017 at 11:23 am

    Smiling all the way to the station, now I am glad I missed my train🙂

    Like

    • January 12, 2017 at 2:23 pm

      Good job you stopped on the way to read my story 🙂

      Like

  15. January 12, 2017 at 11:38 am

    Wonderful. I love the Daily Prattle. And I’d take the bus, too.

    Like

    • January 12, 2017 at 2:24 pm

      It’s everyone’s choice for a good read 🙂
      The bus is going to be busy for a while.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. January 12, 2017 at 12:32 pm

    Good bit of prattle here. I hope they shove such signals up the …. Great dry, laconic humour here. Loved this end to end.

    Like

    • January 12, 2017 at 2:24 pm

      I hope so too – never was anything so aptly named.
      I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Like

  17. January 12, 2017 at 12:55 pm

    And that’s happens when you put an ARSE in charge of something important …

    Like

  18. January 12, 2017 at 1:33 pm

    ARSE. 🙂

    Like

  19. January 12, 2017 at 2:15 pm

    Hahahaha! I have a feeling things like this has happened in the real world. Scary!

    Like

  20. January 12, 2017 at 2:53 pm

    Oh, I really like this! It’s so true to life. Have you ever read the account of WHY the lights all went out in Massachusetts? It goes back to a replaced wire in a Canadian substation… 🙂

    Good job here.

    Like

    • January 12, 2017 at 4:24 pm

      Ha! Those Canadians, eh? 🙂
      I’m glad you enjoyed my story!

      Like

      • January 12, 2017 at 4:38 pm

        Here now. Quit that, eh! 😉

        Like

      • January 12, 2017 at 4:48 pm

        You didn’t let me finish – “Those Canadians, eh? Wonderful people!” (I just read your “About” page)
        🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • January 12, 2017 at 6:47 pm

        Thanks for visiting my About page — I need to update that! — and for thinking us wonderful people. Even if we don’t always install the right-size wires for the electrical current. 😉
        If I may make a suggestion, you could install a LIKE button for comments. (You have to click something in the General settings somewhere.)

        Like

      • January 13, 2017 at 8:01 am

        I expect it was a metric/imperial mishap 🙂
        I did the comments “like” thing! I’ve looked for it before but only in the “classic” dashboard. I checked out WP support and found it somewhere else – in the “sharing” buttons page, not in the “comments options” section where I’ve looked before. Thanks for the advice and push to actually do it 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • January 13, 2017 at 4:22 pm

        I see you’ve successfully installed the comments LIKE button. Rats! My diametric diabasical defuser must not be working right. You were supposed to click on the button and the power would go out all over your city. 🙂

        Like

      • January 13, 2017 at 8:33 pm

        Diametric diabasical defusers are funny like that. Never do what you expect.
        I was hoping the power would go out too. I was at work and a power cut is always a good excuse for a little nap 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • January 14, 2017 at 7:10 pm

        My new cell phone is like that, too.

        Always keep a flashlight in your desk at work. Even during power failures one may need to find one’s way to the loo.

        Like

      • January 15, 2017 at 7:04 am

        I have torches stashed everywhere! Plus my phone and watch both turn into torches when required 🙂

        Like

  21. January 12, 2017 at 3:38 pm

    Ha, ha. That’s great, Ali. I have a terrible feeling it could actually happen again. I’d take the bus also. Great humor writing. 😀 — Suzanne

    Like

    • January 12, 2017 at 4:24 pm

      I’m glad you liked it! Lots of people are switching to the bus, I think.

      Like

  22. January 12, 2017 at 9:16 pm

    This is simply brilliant.
    Thanks for the laugh.

    Like

  23. January 12, 2017 at 9:21 pm

    Thank you for the much needed laugh. Excellent

    Like

    • January 13, 2017 at 8:02 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂

      Like

  24. January 13, 2017 at 5:44 am

    LMAO! A for Arse, of course! That was a hoot and a half!

    Like

    • January 13, 2017 at 8:04 am

      I’m glad you liked it! I was slightly worried in case there was no such such thing as “Sellotape” as a brand in America, and also conscious of the fact that “arse” is the British equivalent of “ass”, but everyone seemed to understand my Brit language 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • January 13, 2017 at 9:54 am

        I use arse all the time, but then again, I am Canadian…😉

        Like

      • January 13, 2017 at 11:02 am

        Ooh, I didn’t know that you’re Canadian. I’ve learned something new today 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • January 13, 2017 at 2:38 pm

        😊It’s why I’m so likeable, Alistair!😉 hee hee hee…

        Like

      • January 13, 2017 at 2:40 pm

        🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  25. January 13, 2017 at 1:00 pm

    …as if things aren’t bad enough on Southern right now! Timely, amusing, stickily clever. Other brands are available!

    …when I grow up! My tale.

    Like

    • January 13, 2017 at 1:45 pm

      On the plus side, Southern trains were not affected as none at all were running on that fateful day!

      Like

  26. January 14, 2017 at 3:07 am

    Hahah- loved this one!

    Like

  27. January 14, 2017 at 5:24 am

    Funny, funny, funny. What more is there to say. Well done

    Like

    • January 14, 2017 at 8:39 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  28. January 14, 2017 at 3:30 pm

    I take the bus and never take my *…* into that train again 😀 Great writing, Draliman! Pawkisses for a Happy Caturday 🙂 ❤

    Like

    • January 15, 2017 at 6:59 am

      Very wise choice 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  29. pennydanger
    January 14, 2017 at 4:45 pm

    It is a good thing they did not go with the “Invisible Tape.” You have a brilliant mind!

    Like

  30. January 15, 2017 at 3:17 am

    I was searching for a lighter story for this week and delighted to have found it here.
    There are layers if entertainment in these 100 words Ali; from your ARSE to your title (or vice versa).

    Like

    • January 15, 2017 at 7:05 am

      I’m glad I went with the light story rather than the dark 🙂
      I’m glad you enjoyed it, thanks for such a lovely comment!

      Liked by 1 person

  31. Life Lessons of a Dog Lover
    January 15, 2017 at 7:19 pm

    I will join the long queue of people that thoroughly enjoyed this story. ARSE indeed!

    Like

    • January 16, 2017 at 8:08 am

      With an acronym like that, they should have known something was going to go wrong…
      I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Like

  32. January 16, 2017 at 12:24 am

    Ahh…this makes me miss the days when I took the train in the UK every day. No, actually, it doesn’t. 😜
    Glad you decided to go with the funny rather than the dark story! Then again, a lot of your stories are funny AND dark.

    Like

    • January 16, 2017 at 8:18 am

      The rail system has never been right since it was privatised 😦
      This one would have just been dark. I’m glad I went for the funny as well 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  33. January 16, 2017 at 3:58 pm

    Wonderfully amusing, Ali. I think I’d be taking the bus as well!

    Like

    • January 16, 2017 at 4:30 pm

      Until ARSE gets control of the traffic lights too…
      I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  34. January 16, 2017 at 6:43 pm

    This really made me laugh. Love the acronym ARSE – very appropriate

    Like

    • January 17, 2017 at 8:18 am

      They should have realised when their system ended up with that acronym that something awful was going to happen 🙂

      Like

  35. January 16, 2017 at 8:41 pm

    Oh laughed my Automated Railway Signalling Equipment off reading this story! So typical!

    Like

  36. January 19, 2017 at 3:18 am

    🙂 Another funny one (as usual, of late). I wrote a story recently about the PRAT Institute (obviously a humor piece), but I don’t think the publisher I sent it to got it. Well, at least they rejected it. Anywhooo, good on you for making people smile (or snicker or laugh), Ali. Pleasant Thursday to ye!

    Like

    • January 19, 2017 at 8:16 am

      Some people have no sense of humour. The PRAT institute already sounds like fun!
      A pleasant Thursday to you too 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  37. January 20, 2017 at 10:49 am

    Thank you for the follow. A similar kind of incident happened in a hospital in my hometown, where life support had been unplugged for charging a vacuum cleaner.

    Like

    • January 20, 2017 at 1:52 pm

      Oh boy, that’s awful. They’re supposed to be plugged into special clearly-marked sockets as well.

      Like

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Speak to me - I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: