Home > Fiction > Pegman – A New Age

Pegman – A New Age

Here is my post for What Pegman Saw, which this week takes us to The Poisson-Blanc area of Quebec.

I’m trying out a different writing style here. Partly because I’m really busy and this style of part-sentences took less than 10 minutes to type. Compose the general idea in your head and then just let the words tumble out, I say 🙂

Copyright Google

 

Thousands of miles across country, crammed into two small vans. Everywhere, signs of the Infection. Dead animals, dying plants. Rabid people. Food from tins only, all water boiled twice.

Not a nice way to live. Hardly living at all.

Onwards, always onwards, mile after mile, days into weeks into months.

At last, Canada. Rumours of safety. A sanctuary, hidden in the forests of Quebec. People there, real, live, uninfected people.

The Infection could only reach so far, couldn’t it? It had to stop eventually, didn’t it?

Arrival. At last, safety. Excited, over-excited, disembarking, shouting in joy! People coming to meet us!

Too excited… we fail to notice the shuffling gait, the too-pale skin. The smell. We fail to notice all these things and so we succumb. The Infection has us.

The last of the human race. Somebody had to be.

Goodbye Homo Sapiens. Welcome to the Age of Homo Infectus.

 

  1. September 4, 2017 at 7:57 pm

    Excellent story. The style suits the subject matter, and really conveys the desperation and disjointedness that these people are feeling. Scary stuff!

    Liked by 1 person

    • September 5, 2017 at 6:50 am

      Thanks, I was hoping that would be the case. I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Jelli
    September 4, 2017 at 8:05 pm

    Good flow to this one. Scary, too.

    Like

  3. September 4, 2017 at 8:08 pm

    Works brilliantly. Good tale, good pace.

    Like

  4. September 4, 2017 at 8:44 pm

    Scary times! If it’s reached Canada, we’re all doomed! Good story!

    Like

    • September 5, 2017 at 6:52 am

      It’s everywhere 😦 I’m glad you liked it!
      I was actually quite surprised when I looked at the map and saw where Quebec is. I assumed it was in the middle somewhere. I’m like that with American states too – if I don’t know where it is, I assume it’s in the middle. Probably very flat and prone to tornadoes.

      Like

  5. September 4, 2017 at 9:30 pm

    I love the way you bring a certain “heaviness” to the story although there is such an immediate? expected? sense of relief, too. Well written.

    Like

    • September 5, 2017 at 6:53 am

      Thanks, I’m glad my experimental style worked out and that you liked it 🙂

      Like

  6. September 4, 2017 at 11:17 pm

    Now I’m worried. I write like that all the time. Is it because I’m trying to get it all down on paper faster? Oh well. Back to the zombie apocalypse.

    Like

    • September 5, 2017 at 6:53 am

      Splurge it all out, top speed!

      Like

  7. September 5, 2017 at 7:35 am

    It looks like a true story, Draliman…scary… Pawkisses for a Happy Week ahead 🙂 ❤

    Like

    • September 5, 2017 at 7:53 am

      Ooh, I hope not! I hope you have a good week too 🙂

      Like

  8. September 5, 2017 at 8:39 am

    The writing fit the story, Ali. Good job. This is one of your scariest posts. O_o — Suzanne

    Like

    • September 5, 2017 at 11:27 am

      Thanks! I’m glad you liked my scary offering 🙂

      Like

  9. Lyn
    September 5, 2017 at 11:17 am

    You should write more when you’re rushed – this was excellent.

    Like

    • September 5, 2017 at 11:27 am

      Thanks! Being rushed certainly changed things a bit, it was quite fun 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  10. September 5, 2017 at 11:37 am

    Dear Ali,

    Rushed or not, this story fired on all cylinders. Again one of my favorite quotes,”We have seen the enemy and he is us.” Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • September 5, 2017 at 3:39 pm

      Dear Rochelle,
      Thanks, I’m glad you liked it and the style worked for you!
      Ali

      Like

  11. September 5, 2017 at 2:02 pm

    Chillingly told. An epic journey in a bucket full of words. Well done. Might we see more of this style, this phantom narrator, in the future? Hope so. Hope work becomes less hectic sometime soon. Unless you like it that way.

    Like

    • September 5, 2017 at 3:39 pm

      I’m glad you enjoyed the story and style!
      Being busy is good but hectic not so good 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  12. September 5, 2017 at 2:12 pm

    Impossible! I hear the Canadians have an excellent health care system. No infection would stand a chance there…

    Like

    • September 5, 2017 at 3:40 pm

      I heard that too! We’ve been lied to.

      Like

  13. September 5, 2017 at 3:49 pm

    Great story! So chilling!

    Like

  14. September 5, 2017 at 9:27 pm

    Scary story with Infectious desease that could wipe out human race. Did you steal the plot of my story I’m working on? Ha, ha. I’m kidding.

    Like

  15. September 6, 2017 at 10:08 am

    Scary! I liked the writing style, Ali. Fast and in the move kinds. It suited the story well. 🙂

    Like

    • September 6, 2017 at 12:04 pm

      Thanks, I’m glad it worked and that you enjoyed it 🙂

      Like

  16. September 7, 2017 at 2:19 pm

    Awesome story

    Like

  17. Michael B. Fishman
    September 8, 2017 at 7:01 pm

    I liked the story and I liked the writing style. There’s nothing wrong with short, concise sentences and I think it was Hemingway (?) who has that listed as his #1 rule of writing. Regardless, this was a great story!

    Like

    • September 8, 2017 at 7:56 pm

      Thanks, I’m glad you liked the story and style!
      According to the interweb, it was Hemmingway 🙂

      Like

  18. September 9, 2017 at 6:23 pm

    Another scary story, hope it is not prophetic. But somebody had to be the last…

    Like

    • September 10, 2017 at 6:12 am

      I hope it’s not too. At least life is surviving in some form, I suppose 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • September 10, 2017 at 6:45 pm

        Just thinking – it is possible that we already are some form…

        Liked by 1 person

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