draliman on life

Here is my story for this week’s Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. The photo comes courtesy of Sarah Potter.

I nearly did a serious one this week, thinking about cobwebs in the brain or some such in an attempt to look past the picture, but it didn’t quite pan out…

(On a hunch I Googled “knackered” and discovered it’s British slang, so if you haven’t heard it before, it means worn out/tired out/damaged by use.)

Copyright Sarah Potter

Billed as a perfect complement to their Pre-Worn-Look^TM sweaters and ripped jeans, comes Distressed Shoes^TM. CEO of Frightful Clothing^TM, Matt Moronik explains:

“Who wants to wander down the high street in their Pre-Worn-Look^TM clothes wearing brand new-looking pearly-white trainers? People would laugh.”

That’s not why people are laughing, Matt. Moronik goes on:

“For a limited period, pre-order our Pre-Worn-Look^TM Shite Shoes^TM and get a can of cobweb-substitute absolutely free!”

So there you have it. A world gone mad. Don’t I feel silly in my immaculately-pressed shirt and perfectly-creased trousers.

Next week, the CEO of Pre-Knackered^TM Cars explains his new range, Already-Crashed^TM.