Home > Fiction > Pegman – Vera versus Morocco

Pegman – Vera versus Morocco

Here is my story for What Pegman Saw.

I thought I wasn’t going to manage this week – still working all hours – but I did! And… hold your breath, people – it’s the triumphant return of Vera, the old lady from “up North” who never stops talking, which gets her out of all sorts of scrapes. You can read more of her stories here.

This week we are in Casablanca, Morocco.

(Quick update, I Googled “cosh” and it appears to be “British informal”. It’s a baton or cudgel, Americans might call it a “night stick”.)

Copyright Google

 

“Come on, Auntie, let’s go along here.”

“Eee, no, let’s try this way, oh I say, a bit dismal this, reminds me of home…”

“Uh, Auntie, this doesn’t look too safe…”

“… look at what I’ve stepped in, foreign poo that is, not like the poo back home…”

“Hey! Tourists! Give to me your valuables!”

“… who’s this then? you look just like me grandson, lovely lad, maybe you know ‘im…”

“This a robbery, you give…”

“…robbery? when I were a lass they done it right, black bag, balaclava, cosh, where’s yer cosh? what’s that? a peashooter? where’s yer sawn-off? give it ‘ere, you could ‘ave someone’s eye out, I’ll just put it in me bag where it’s safe…”

“Hey, my pistol, give it…”

“… you could hurt someone, where’s yer mamma? I’ll ‘ave words, hey, you come back ‘ere, no word of goodbye, no manners the yoof of today ramble mutter mutter…”

 

  1. October 2, 2017 at 7:46 pm

    Such a chuckle. She really turned that around. Give Vera five more minutes and she’ll have the robber’s wallet, cash card and PIN!

    Like

    • October 2, 2017 at 7:56 pm

      When Vera gets going, you’ve just gotta go with it or she’ll eat you alive. Or confuse you to death. Handing over your wallet’s a small price to pay 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. October 2, 2017 at 7:55 pm

    Good old Vera!

    Like

    • October 2, 2017 at 7:56 pm

      There’s no holding her back. She’s unstoppable!

      Like

  3. October 2, 2017 at 9:26 pm

    If only it were that easy. God for Vera!

    Like

  4. October 2, 2017 at 9:37 pm

    I love that Vera gives him the what for! These yooves just don’t follow proper protocol! 😀

    Like

    • October 2, 2017 at 9:41 pm

      I just read your other Vera stories. Absolutely hilarious! You should write a book!

      Like

      • October 3, 2017 at 6:44 am

        That’s a good idea – “The Collected Adventures of Vera”!

        Liked by 1 person

    • October 3, 2017 at 6:43 am

      We had a better class of mugger back in the day 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. October 3, 2017 at 2:02 am

    The next mugger who doesn’t meet up to Vera’s exacting standards is probably going to get a serious ear tugging down the alley…

    Like

    • October 3, 2017 at 6:44 am

      And we all know how painful that can be…

      Like

  6. Lyn
    October 3, 2017 at 6:59 am

    Good on ya, Auntie Vera! These young hoodlums need someone like you to keep them in check!

    Like

  7. October 3, 2017 at 7:03 am

    Ha, ha. Good for Vera. In the U.S. we’d probably say club, nightstick (I think the police carry one) or truncheon. My dad did park security once and still had an old one (1930’s) of leather filled with buckshot. I seem to remember he had another word for it but I don’t remember. Good writing, Ali. 😀 — Suzanne

    Like

    • October 3, 2017 at 11:32 am

      I nearly said “truncheon” but I thought that was just a British word. Vera’s quite a character!

      Like

  8. October 3, 2017 at 12:23 pm

    Ha! Funny stuff.

    Like

  9. October 3, 2017 at 5:49 pm

    Can we borrow Vera for awhile? I’d like to turn her loose on the car prowlers that have been thieving in my neighborhood!

    Like

    • October 7, 2017 at 5:21 am

      Of course! She also available for dinner parties, add a bit of excitement to the proceedings 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  10. October 3, 2017 at 9:26 pm

    So funny. Is there a photo available of Vera? So I can avoid her if our paths ever cross.
    Still smiling…..

    Like

    • October 5, 2017 at 11:46 am

      She doesn’t like having her photo taken. You can imagine what happens if you try 😦

      Like

  11. October 4, 2017 at 4:32 am

    Haha. You never run out of laughs for us, Ali.

    Like

    • October 5, 2017 at 11:55 am

      I’m glad you enjoyed Vera’s adventure 🙂

      Like

  12. October 6, 2017 at 8:09 am

    That could have been Granny’s grannie…she did a same kind of act. You must have known her, Draliman 😀 Pawkisses for a Happy Weekend 🙂 ❤

    Like

  13. October 6, 2017 at 1:42 pm

    High five, Vera! 🙂

    Like

  14. October 7, 2017 at 2:50 pm

    Does Vera take classes by any chance? I would love to enroll 😀

    Like

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