FF – Not Fit for Purpose
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Sandra Crook.
Just in case, I should explain that in the context of a car, the “boot” is the UK English word for the “trunk”.
Copyright Sandra Crook
Marco exited the building followed by his minions, dragging between them two men, hands bound, sacks over their heads. Billy leapt out of the car.
“Over here, Boss!”
“Boys, chuck these scum in the boot and we’ll… what the hell is that?”
“Me new car!”
“Uh…”
“All the latest gadgets!”
“It has a boot the size of a peanut. We’ll never get ’em in there.”
“The old car was full of bullet holes.”
“Let ‘em go, lads. It’s their lucky day. Billy, inside. You ‘n me gonna have a… chat.”
“Ooh, great! Let me tell you about its amazing fuel consumption…”
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draliman on life 
Not the vehicle of choice for kidnappers and terrorists.
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Easy to park, though!
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Ha.. not a Smart choice for this purpose… I think there are some limitation on speed as well
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Haha 🙂
No, I’m guessing it won’t outrun a police pursuit vehicle.
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Ha ha – that was hilarious and surprisingly believable! Thanks for making me laugh.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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I’m glad it made you laugh 🙂
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Small cars are not for everyone.
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Especially not mobsters. Probably wouldn’t make a great getaway car either.
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Fuel consumption. Right
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I don’t think the Boss will be all that interested…
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Hm, methinks that’s not the chat he has in mind… Funny story!
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Everybody realises that except Billy…
I’m glad you liked it!
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People can be like that when they get so excited about their new tech toy (cars included) — they overestimate how interested everyone else is in their gadget, sometimes to dire effect!
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I’ve never understood that. Look, it’s a watch! Connected to my phone! Hello?
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I work in a university tech institute, so I get this constantly… (sigh)
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I work in an IT department and have a watch connected to my phone 🙂
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Love it! I can imagine the scene and the goofy grin on the face of the car owner. =)
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He’s very proud of his new car 🙂
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i wonder what that ‘chat’ really means. if i were him i should be worried. 🙂
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I think you’re right 🙂
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That was unfortunate for some and lucky for others. Hilarious, Ali. 😀 — Suzanne
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Yes, Billy’s in a spot of bother 🙂
I’m glad you liked it!
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Me thinks Billy is in trouble. That car of his is nothing but door. LOL D-Man, you’re a nut 😀
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Not the best choice for zooming around the place out-pacing police pursuit 🙂
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Lucky for them. 🙂
Wonderful storytelling, Draliman.🙂🙂
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Yes, they dodged a bullet this time. Probably literally 🙂
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MOL…at least he took the car into account…MOL 😀 Pawkisses for a economical day 😀 ❤
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It’s a cat-sized car 🙂
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Yeah, it looks like my carrier…MOL 😀
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Ha ha ha ha ha. Poor Billy is in for a rough time.
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I think you’re right!
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Yet one more feature in favour of the smart car. Good idea!
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No room for your mobster mates or bodies in the boot!
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Finally, someone is addressing the real needs of the modern motorist!
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I wonder what a mobster car salesman would be like? “Plenty of room in the boot for two bodies. Three if you chop ’em up.”
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You can take them down alleys where police patrol vehicles wouldn’t fit!
You’ve come up with a hilarious idea, Ali, and told the story with pace and humour. Loved it!
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That’s a good point! All the police-evading convenience of a motorbike but covered in case of rain 🙂
I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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Can’t even run them over, it will probably damage the car. That’s a very clever and funny take on the prompt.
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Ha, yes! Hey, your head’s dented my car 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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Different priorities! A brilliantly different take.
Click to read my FriFic!
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I think Billy’s priorities may land him in hot water! I’m glad you liked it.
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Poor Billy’s heart will be broken when his boss tells him to get rid of the new car! 😉
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I’m sure that’s all the chat will be about 🙂
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The car is glitzy and so tempting.. never mind not being practical 🙂 Good one
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It is a little small 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!
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Hahahaha! The boot is the size of a peanut! I think they are cute little cars but I wouldn’t want to own one.
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I’d only really want one if it was a second car, for zipping around town. I looked at them when I moved back to the UK, but for some reason they were all automatic rather than manual gearboxes, which I don’t want.
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Very clever take. Great read.
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!
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Oh, Billy! So caught up with fuel consumption he can’t see his own end coming! Great take on the prompt
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Hopefully he won’t see it coming… or maybe the Boss will just force him to swap his baby for a bigger vehicle 🙂
I’m glad you liked it!
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Haha! If he’s lucky he can trade up to a transit without getting killed 🙂
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Let’s hope he thinks to say that before the Boss does something Billy will regret 🙂
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Better work fast … 🙂
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Very amusing, sir, I enjoyed this
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!
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Hilarious! Although I don’t think all will be well for poor Billy. 🙂
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I think he’s in for a tough time 🙂
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That was the best, Ali! I love where you took this. It’s a good thing Billy is simple and doesn’t understand his end is near….
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It’s probably for the best 🙂
I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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Dear Ali,
LOL….Billy is clueless to the end, isn’t he? Love this. I don’t supposed the vic would fit under the bonnet?
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
He is! It’s probably better for him that way.
There’s probably barely an engine under there 🙂
Ali
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Just your average mobsters having fun at a getaway car! Loved the unique take.
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They do like to joke around, those mobsters 🙂
I’m glad you liked it!
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What a treat your story is! Thanks for focusing on the car. Your story made me laugh. Cheers!
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The moment I saw the dinky little Smart car I couldn’t resist 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!
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I’m afraid poor Billy’s going to get fired from this job. Really well done and amusing take on the prompt, Ali!
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I’m afraid you’re right. I’m glad you liked it!
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super fun and laughing with the comments too – like not outrunning the police – bah
and just need to pimp this ride out a little – maybe some window tint (kidding)
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It could work with some pimping out… nah, they’d still get laughed at by all the other mobsters 🙂
I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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🙂
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They’re going to have to make two rides. At least there’s no bullet holes to attract the attention.
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I’m smiling at the thought of all those burly guys crammed into the tiny car, with one left behind with the other prisoner waiting for them to come back.
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Haha! Quite an image, yes 😀
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Oh my! The boot of my car is plenty bigger than a peanut!
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Would you mind lending it to Billy then? 🙂
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Sure! 🙂
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Awesome! I’ll let him know. Hey, Billy, guess what… oh dear. Too late 😦
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Bwahahaha!
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🙂
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🙂
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They’ll just have to go into the midget kidnapping business, I guess…
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A whole new sector and they’ve got it cornered.
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hehe this is great
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!
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Reblogged this on Reblog Mixtape.
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Thanks for the reblog!
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Such a shame, they don’t make henchmen like they used to huh?
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I guess Billy wasn’t “fit for purpose” either.
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Maybe the manufacturers ought to recall the Billy models before this gets out of hand. Their clientele are not known for their patience and understanding.
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They broke the mould when they made the Billy series. Because it was useless.
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They certainly did. Can’t see a way back for them now..
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Very clever and amusing!
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Thanks 🙂
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I like your story, most witty and entertaining – like the combo of gangsters and fuel consumption !
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Thanks! Yes, in this world of expensive petrol even gangsters much watch their pennies 🙂
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