FF – Mission Failed
Here is my rather rushed story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Sandra Crook.
Barclay drew his boat up quietly to the bank near a lawn of sculptures which looked as though they’d been vomited randomly into place. High class venue. He saw cars near the mansion and smiled. No-one would expect him to sneak in by boat. He drew his gun.
Two at the door – blam! blam! Red sprayed. One more inside – blam! Right to the head. Too easy…
… until the hallway. Ten, all firing at once. Screaming, he fell in a pool of sticky red and groaned. He’d never get all this paint out. His mum was going to kill him.
Categories: Fiction
flash fiction, Friday Fictioneers
And just TRY getting that paint off your eyeglasses … or for that matter, your computer keyboard. Life is hell and paintballs are worse.
LikeLike
You’re supposed to use goggles, but Barclay doesn’t seem the type.
LikeLike
Mom is going to be real mad! Unexpected ending and wonderful story!
LikeLike
No treats for Barclay for the foreseeable future! I’m glad you liked it 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha-ha-ha I wasn’t expecting that! Well done! 🙂
LikeLike
Neither was Barclay haha 🙂
LikeLike
Almost not funny… at least until the paint was revealed. good write this week.
LikeLike
It could have been a bloodbath but fortunately wasn’t. I’m glad you liked it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Be thankful it was just paint.
LikeLike
Yep, for sure.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Did he get the bruises that come with paintball… amazing how much that hurts!!
LikeLike
He probably shouldn’t have shot that one chap in the head either!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Too true. Though you are supposed to wear protective gear…
LikeLike
Protective gear’s for wusses ha ha OUCH!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Fun story, you scared me for a moment but it ended with a laugh.
LikeLike
It was getting pretty violent there for a moment.
LikeLike
Great reply! lol
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha ha. Great twist there.
LikeLike
Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!
LikeLike
Well done Ali, great twist 😀
LikeLike
Surely you didn’t think I was killing all those people? 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
😮 Perish the thought… 😀 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Brilliant! Not the outcome I expected
LikeLike
Thanks! I’m glad you liked it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This would be a great place for some paintball 🙂
LikeLike
It would! Hiding behind trees, running through the hallways…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Ali,
I’m laughing with relief. You took me gory to adorable in swell foop. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Dear Rochelle,
You can see the earlier part of the story in a new light once you realise he’s not some sort of homicidal assassin 🙂
I’m glad you enjoyed it!
Ali
LikeLike
Paintball indoors… I think I’d be annoyed myself 😀
LikeLike
I’m sure it was overdue for redecorating 🙂
LikeLike
Totally unexpected! I was fearing the worst. But thankfully it was just paint. However, that would still be enough to make his mum mad…sticky….
LikeLike
Just imagine trying to wash all that out of everywhere 😦
LikeLiked by 1 person
Gave me quite the chuckle. Good story.
LikeLike
Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!
LikeLike
What an amazing twist. 🙂
I haven’t seen violence in your FF stories, so far, but with this one I wasn’t too sure until the very end.
Superb storytelling.
LikeLike
I’m glad you liked it 🙂
Some of my stories have been a bit violent (but never in such an obvious way) but not recently.
LikeLike
What? Nobody was killed or at least horribly maimed!?!? I guess I’ll just have to turn on the news to get my murder fix…
LikeLike
I had a feeling you’d be a bit disappointed by the surprise twist!
If it makes you feel better, a stunt possum on his way to a gig at SCT took a stray paintball to the head and was knocked backwards into the canal, never to be seen again…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m smiling, smiling, smiling. Wonderful silliness, Ali. More of a Basildon Bond than a James, me thinks.
LikeLike
He did display a certain amount of carelessness after all his careful planning. I’m glad you enjoyed it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
A delightful twist at the end. I love the “which looked as though they’d been vomited randomly into place” because those rocks look just that way!
LikeLike
That was the first thing which sprang to mind when I saw the photo. So although it didn’t really have anything to do with the story, I thought I’d bung it in there 🙂
LikeLike
oh what a relief! it was just kids’ play! but mom will probably kill her anyway for making a mess of himself. 🙂
LikeLike
Yes, dead one way or the other. Or grounded anyway!
Sorry, your comment went in my spam for some reason.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Fun stuff!
LikeLike
Thanks 🙂
LikeLike
Ah, a paint gun battle. That would be a mess to clear up. Good writing, Ali. 🙂 — Suzanne
LikeLike
A very messy mess 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love the idea of sculptures being vomited randomly into place!. He was doing so well, perhaps a little over confident. This was so well set up to be an assassination, that turning into paintball was a fun relief.
LikeLike
He certainly won’t make it is an assassin. I’m glad you liked it!
LikeLike
If it was my house I’d be angry too. Though I’d make the kid clean up and then throw the kid in a washing machine on a long cycle. Though I’d avoid the dryer and just hang straight on the line. Too much?
LikeLike
No, he deserves it 🙂
LikeLike
Doesn’t feel rushed, great job!
LikeLike
Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s a fun story, Ali.
LikeLike
I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
LikeLike
Great fun. I love a happy story 🙂
LikeLike
Much fun was had by all 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Quite the party. 🙂 This sounds like something my son would do, right down to the pool of paint.
LikeLike
Ha ha oh dear 🙂
LikeLike
You have a great way to switch a story into another direction, Draliman. Pawsome! Pawkisses for a Happy Weekend 🙂 ❤
LikeLike
I’m glad you enjoyed the twist 🙂 I hope you, granny and grandpaw have a happy weekend too!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great twist at the end! I didn’t expect that at all.
LikeLike
It was quite a switch around. I’m glad you liked it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
That was a fun twist there, Ali. Cleverly done.
LikeLike
Thanks, a little twist at the end to dilute the violence.
LikeLike
Paintball can be messy… you gave me an surprise there… I should have expected it coming from you.
LikeLike
I was never going to write a story that was just gratuitous violence start to finish 🙂
LikeLike
Great twist!
LikeLike
Thanks!
LikeLike
Great twist at the end to change the meaning of the whole story. I enjoyed the story.
LikeLike
Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it!
LikeLike
Paintball – fun! Nice build-up.
LikeLike
Nobody got hurt after all! Well apart from that chap he shot in the head. I bet that smarts.
LikeLiked by 1 person
‘I bet that smarts’?? Autocorrect? 😀
LikeLike
No, that’s what I meant 🙂
I just looked up “smarts” as in “hurts” and it doesn’t specifically say it’s UK slang (whereas “smarts” as in “brains/intelligence” is US slang).
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah, gotcha! Learned another British expression. 🙂
LikeLike
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person