FF – He Seemed Like Such a Nice Man
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Karen Rawson.
For some reason a very dark story occurred to me this week, sorry.
Copyright Karen Rawson
He glanced behind as his family struggled up the slope, grinning as his youngest fell and slipped into the muddy water. Lashing out he threw his wife against a tree. His eldest ran past and he tripped her, laughing as she tumbled down. He was free, free…!
Jerked suddenly awake, he hears the grating, whining voice of his wife even from inside his shed. The kids are arguing. Again. Plagued in dreams and wakefulness! Something snaps inside, white and red flashes in his brain. He grabs his axe and stalks towards the house.
“… he seemed like such a nice man…”
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Friday Fictioneers
draliman on life 
That is dark. I’m sure many have had those thoughts, but fortunately few act on them!!
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I’m sure you’re right, but just very fleeting and forgotten in an instant, thank goodness.
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ouch, that bites…that dream was better than reality! great writing.
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For sure. A nasty dream but far preferable to what happened next. I’m glad you liked it!
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Ye gods, that was chilling! Nicely done.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Thanks! Chilling indeed.
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Frightening tale. A real nightmare
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Yes, in both senses of the word.
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Wow. Dark indeed. I’m impressed. The most scary part is that we’ve heard it so many times before… In the real world. Well done.
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Yes, far too many times. I’m glad you liked it, and thanks for the retweet!
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The neighbours always say that. 🙂 Good and scary!
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They do. I’m glad you liked it!
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Spooky stuff!
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For sure. Thanks for reading!
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That’s pretty awful.
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The subject matter rather than the writing, I hope 😉
A grim situation.
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Frightening and fabulous writing.
Isn’t that always the way it goes, though? Tsk.
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Thanks! Nobody ever really knows what’s really going on inside…
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Either he was a nice man who was driven crazy by incessant dreams, or wow, his neighbors *really* didn’t know him very well!
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Probably the latter. I’m sure they appeared to be the perfect family.
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He was doing a good job of acting, right up until he cracked? Ouch — that could be anybody , which makes it even more scary!
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Definitely 😦
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LOL You’re such a bad boy 😀
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That’s me 🙂
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This is like a condensed version of The Shining 🙂
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That would be fun – condense novels down to 100 words. Next week, “War and Peace” 🙂
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Yes! And then I could finally read it. 😂
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Yeah, I haven’t read it either 🙂
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Ugh!
Randy
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“Ugh” is right!
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That’s always what’s said after the fact. Great story. Very chilling.
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We hear it so many times. I’m glad you liked it!
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Wow! Hundred word horror!
My FriFic tale is called Solace!
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They was nothing in the least bit nice about this story 🙂
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OMG, he’s really had a bad night hasn’t he? So dark.
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For sure. A bad night, a bad day, and on it goes.
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Dear Ali,
Gasp! Sputter! When you go dark you don’t mess around. Sheesh. But you did it so very well.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
I take no prisoners, me 🙂 I actually didn’t much like my story due to the subject matter but I was too short on time to think of something else. I like to publish on the day so I can read others’ stories without being influenced 🙂
I’m glad you liked it, regardless!
Ali
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Hokey-Smokes! Somehow it seems he got to kill his family twice! As Rochelle said when you go dark . . . Kudos!
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It’s a nightmare come true! Dark indeed.
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Bad night, bad day, bad man… too bad there was an axe there…
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Yes, if there hadn’t been he’d probably have calmed down before finding something else.
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“He seemed like such a nice man… but his family. His wife and kids were huge pains in the arse. Yeah, I can’t blame him for snapping… I’d’ve done them in already years ago. Excuse me, Mr. TV reporter, where are you going? I still have a lot to say about the family from hell… come back!”
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Just once I’d like to hear that sort of honesty in the news report… “and then he says I’ve had it with my family, can I borrow your machete? and I says no worries…”
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Oh My! The evil lurks within… well done!
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Thanks! Sitting there all this time, waiting for release…
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Where’s our gentle, funny, Alistair?
That said, you did evil quite well, sir… you seem like such a jovial man…
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He is taking a little holiday in fluffy bunny land, but will hopefully be back soon 🙂
I’m glad you “enjoyed” my walk on the dark side!
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Well, he is allowed to. On occasion. 😉
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Hee 🙂
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🙂
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Oh dear, that was dark! The poor family. A great way to make it even more intense through mirroring horrible dream with even more horrible reality.
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked the nightmare/reality thing!
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Not nice enough though😅. Great take on the prompt, very dark and fun!
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Just on the “homicidal maniac” side of nice, unfortunately. I’m glad you liked it!
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Wow. Brilliantly imaginative and bold writing.
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Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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Dude needed to get away, but jail might not be the best please for the peace he’s looking for.
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True. I don’t think he’s going to have much choice, though.
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You’re funny.
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Wasn’t he lucky to be able to make his dreams come true. Such black humour this week. One to re-read and think about/ worry about you. 🙂
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Yes, such a lucky chap! No need to worry, I’m sure there will be comedy again soon 🙂
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Don’t they always say that after the deed…MOL 😀 Pawkisses for a happy day 🙂 ❤
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They do, every time. You have a happy day too 🙂
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Marriage and kids just don’t suit some people. Graphic, well-told story.
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Thanks! He definitely should have stayed on his own. Maybe he’ll get a private cell.
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Yikes – my MC has wandered into your story, or is it the other way around? Either way, it’s interesting we both opted for a grisly tale rather than our usual style. Nice one, Ali.
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I noticed that! A bit of a change for us both. I’m glad you liked it!
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Wow, that is dark, Ali. Good writing, though.
— Suzanne
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Very dark. I’m glad you liked it anyway!
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Wow, when you said dark, you weren’t kidding! But maybe I should be the one apologizing, because it seems my picture inspired a lot of dark stories. Plus, I don’t want to get on your bad side 😉
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Hee 🙂
I did notice there were quite a few dark ones this week. I’m sure it’s a perfectly lovely place 🙂
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Oh boy. Family life can drive you up the wall sometimes. Or worse apparently. Good piece!
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It can, but this chap seems to have some serious underlying issues. I’m glad you liked it!
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Using the tag “He seemed like such a nice man” is a very neat and economical way of describing the murder of his family. And using the dream as well as reality to enhance the impact of your story is clever.
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You hear that phrase so often after a tragedy. I’m glad you liked my story and that you enjoyed the dream/reality thing. Thanks 🙂
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They say the quiet ones are the worst!
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Stuff’s just building up inside them…
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Isn’t that exactly what we hear when someone goes berserk and commits mayhem! Really good writing.
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Thanks! Yes, nobody ever sees it coming. Nasty generally violent people generally just make nuisances of themselves, it’s the quiet ones who suddenly snap.
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Well, that was one of the darkest trips I’ve taken for a while. As others have said, we sometimes imagine ‘freedom’ from our responsibilities but often shy away from the reality of it – thank goodness! Dark, creepy – well done
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I’m glad you liked it, dark as it was 🙂
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Geez…where did that come from?
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The story or his sudden urge to kill? 😉
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The story!
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🙂
The very darkest depths of my fevered imagination…
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A very scary place!
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I believe he must’ve had a sadistic streak all along. Nobody turns into a sadistic killer overnight…or do they? This was seriously scary. Good writing!
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Definitely something wrong in his brain somewhere. How to tell, that’s the question…
I’m glad you liked it!
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Wow! I do hope that this is one of those stories that is a dream inside of a dream?
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Me too. But I don’t think so 😦
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