FF – Musings of the Cutlery
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Valerie J. Barrett.
To read all the stories and to add your own, click on the froggy.

Copyright Valerie J. Barrett
Ah, to see the light of day! The old house restored and open to the public!
I pressed the Sunday best, you heated Madam’s beverages.
And I stirred that beverage. Halcyon days!
What’s all that white crap?
That’s a mark of my venerable age. Why are you spraying out your spout?
I’m excited, okay? Big day!
Shh, here come the visitors. Oh, for them to see us in all our beautiful glory, paragons of a bygone age!
“Wow, look at all this useless old shit. Let’s try the next room.”
Well, that took us down a peg or two and no mistake.
Philistines.
Categories: Fiction
flash fiction, Friday Fictioneers
You might have cleaned the spoon before the first visitors arrived!
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I know, it’s disgraceful.
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I do like to stir!
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Badoom-tish!
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I’m pretty sure my house would fit that description too. Oh well.
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You should see all the useless old tat in my house…
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I love all my vintage and antique things! Although I’ll probably end up like Miss Havisham, sitting in my armchair with cobwebs attached to my dress. 😀
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Hee 🙂
I have some old bits – candlesticks and a dinner gong – on my mantelpiece I got from my Granny when she passed away.
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such a nice personification~
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Thanks!
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That cut them down to size and no mistake!
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It certainly did! Poor antiques.
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Yes one person’s dream, can sadly be another’s rubbish
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Very true.
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I really enjoyed the bantering and the voices. I can relate to the spoon with “all that white crap.” I have my own on the top of my head and it screams old lady. Hopefully they receive a more appreciative visitor. =)
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I’m sure eventually someone will come along and stroke their egos 🙂
I’m glad you liked it!
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Fun. I think there is more to the “white crap”… 😀
Our minds were on the same track this week.
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I did toy with accusations and denials of cocaine use but I had enough trouble with the word count as it was!
We did both decide they were display items 🙂
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The word limit can be restrictive. Simple is best.
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Hah! I thought it was the family retainers speaking at first. Good one.
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Just the family appliances 🙂
I’m glad you liked it.
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Dear Ali,
Interesting characters, these. Now we know that even tea kettles and irons have feelings. I don’t know about the spoon. He seems a bit shallow. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
That’s spoons for ya!
Ali
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Perhaps it was the visitors who were the useless old shit
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It certainly seems that way. No appreciation.
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This is great, I love the pov. I admit, I have an iron just like that, and an older one that was filled with glowing embers. And a lot of more old stuff no one will want after me.
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That sounds cool! I bet someone would be happy to have them.
I’m glad you liked it!
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Kitchen Implement Theatre! I love it…
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A bit derivative of that squirrel fella’s critter theatre thing, perhaps…
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Sadly, we don’t often see ourselves as others see us. Such a letdown. Funny and well written, Ali. 😀 — Suzanne
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I don’t think I’d like to see myself as others do 🙂
I’m glad you liked it!
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Some people just don’t appreciate shabby-chic beauty. On the other hand…!
Rosey invited me to lunch!
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I’m all about the shabby-chic!
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Funny. Similar idea and another good one!
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Yes! We both decided our appliances had fun personalities 🙂
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Some good stories again this week
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Yes 🙂
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What a disappointment! The essentials of yesteryear find themselves brutally dismissed now they are no longer relevant.
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It happens to us all… 🙂
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perhaps it’s time to sell and move on. 🙂
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They’re only visiting so it’s okay 🙂
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There might be a few items in my house that will be taken down a peg or two as well… they think they are useful but there is no more room for them!
This was fun!
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Oh no! You’ll just have to steel yourself and break the bad news to them…
I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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Maybe I’ll just sneak ’em out…
I did!
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Heh 🙂
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Wonderfully told from the utensil point of view!
~Donna
https://authorshutterbug.wordpress.com/
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!
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Love the utensil angle – so inventive – had to read the first few lines twice to figure it out ! Different points of view about ‘heritage’ compared to modern stuff interesting too. Well done.
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Yes, the first few lines could have been the “help” 🙂 I’m glad you liked it! I often see things like this while visiting stately homes near where I live, especially around the kitchen and servants’ areas, so we can see how things used to be.
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Just a chatter in the kitchen. All kitchens have them. It is difficult to please everyone.
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Especially when you’re an iron. Irons never please me.
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Some people just don’t know how to show respect for the every-day necessities of life 🙂
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Shameful, the younger generation 🙂
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Yes, but I think the example of the older generation bears some responsibility as well.
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It must have been them youg’ens that which got no sense of history nor good ethnicity of family.
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If it doesn’t connect to the internet they just don’t want to know.
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We each have our own place. For some: “What is internet?”
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Such a well fashioned dialogue. And so it goes…
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!
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You are welcome.
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lol Yep. Those words definitely took them down a peg or two. 🙂
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The poor guys are fading into history… at least they’re educational now 🙂
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From a modern, functional point of view, all items in a museum could be considered “useless old shit”. Why would anyone with that perspective bother to visit a museum in the first place? Must’ve lost a bet or something. 😉
This tale has the classic draliman humour but also contains a deeper message about history and obsolescence.
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I’m guessing they came to see the gardens and wandered into the stately home by accident, thinking it was the gift shop 🙂
I’m glad you liked it!
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Ha! 😁
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Not easy to be aged and tossed away…
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No. And it happens to us all…
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Nice perspective 🙂
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Thanks 🙂
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Poor old things. Such fascinating and useful lives they’ve lived and these boorish visitors are blind to it. Love the approach you’ve taken with this – most enjoyable.
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Yes, after everything they’ve seen and how useful they were in the past…
I’m glad you liked it!
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Great work, it reminded me of the utensils and furniture in Beauty and the Beast
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Ha, yes! I’m glad you liked it.
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Now we know what they all do at a certain age…MOL…Pawkisses for a Happy Wednesday🐾😽💞
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They grumble – just like us 🙂
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Yeah, I too wondered about that white crap 😉
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Very odd. These people have never heard of Brasso 🙂
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