Home > Fiction > FF – Musings of the Cutlery

FF – Musings of the Cutlery

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Valerie J. Barrett.

To read all the stories and to add your own, click on the froggy.


Ah, to see the light of day! The old house restored and open to the public!

I pressed the Sunday best, you heated Madam’s beverages.

And I stirred that beverage. Halcyon days!

What’s all that white crap?

That’s a mark of my venerable age. Why are you spraying out your spout?

I’m excited, okay? Big day!

Shh, here come the visitors. Oh, for them to see us in all our beautiful glory, paragons of a bygone age!

“Wow, look at all this useless old shit. Let’s try the next room.”

Well, that took us down a peg or two and no mistake.



  1. June 12, 2019 at 7:13 pm

    You might have cleaned the spoon before the first visitors arrived!


  2. June 12, 2019 at 7:23 pm

    I’m pretty sure my house would fit that description too. Oh well.


    • June 12, 2019 at 7:29 pm

      You should see all the useless old tat in my house…


  3. June 12, 2019 at 7:37 pm

    I love all my vintage and antique things! Although I’ll probably end up like Miss Havisham, sitting in my armchair with cobwebs attached to my dress. 😀


    • June 13, 2019 at 6:28 am

      Hee 🙂
      I have some old bits – candlesticks and a dinner gong – on my mantelpiece I got from my Granny when she passed away.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. June 12, 2019 at 7:38 pm

    such a nice personification~


  5. June 12, 2019 at 8:45 pm

    That cut them down to size and no mistake!


  6. June 12, 2019 at 10:38 pm

    Yes one person’s dream, can sadly be another’s rubbish


  7. June 13, 2019 at 4:00 am

    I really enjoyed the bantering and the voices. I can relate to the spoon with “all that white crap.” I have my own on the top of my head and it screams old lady. Hopefully they receive a more appreciative visitor. =)

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 13, 2019 at 6:30 am

      I’m sure eventually someone will come along and stroke their egos 🙂
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. June 13, 2019 at 5:22 am

    Fun. I think there is more to the “white crap”… 😀
    Our minds were on the same track this week.


    • June 13, 2019 at 6:32 am

      I did toy with accusations and denials of cocaine use but I had enough trouble with the word count as it was!
      We did both decide they were display items 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  9. June 13, 2019 at 6:51 am

    Hah! I thought it was the family retainers speaking at first. Good one.


    • June 13, 2019 at 1:08 pm

      Just the family appliances 🙂
      I’m glad you liked it.


  10. June 13, 2019 at 10:33 am

    Dear Ali,

    Interesting characters, these. Now we know that even tea kettles and irons have feelings. I don’t know about the spoon. He seems a bit shallow. Nicely done.




    • June 13, 2019 at 1:08 pm

      Dear Rochelle,
      That’s spoons for ya!


  11. June 13, 2019 at 10:53 am

    Perhaps it was the visitors who were the useless old shit


    • June 13, 2019 at 1:09 pm

      It certainly seems that way. No appreciation.


  12. gahlearner
    June 13, 2019 at 11:44 am

    This is great, I love the pov. I admit, I have an iron just like that, and an older one that was filled with glowing embers. And a lot of more old stuff no one will want after me.


    • June 13, 2019 at 1:09 pm

      That sounds cool! I bet someone would be happy to have them.
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  13. June 13, 2019 at 12:10 pm

    Kitchen Implement Theatre! I love it…


    • June 13, 2019 at 1:11 pm

      A bit derivative of that squirrel fella’s critter theatre thing, perhaps…


  14. June 13, 2019 at 1:25 pm

    Sadly, we don’t often see ourselves as others see us. Such a letdown. Funny and well written, Ali. 😀 — Suzanne


    • June 13, 2019 at 6:14 pm

      I don’t think I’d like to see myself as others do 🙂
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  15. June 13, 2019 at 1:34 pm

    Some people just don’t appreciate shabby-chic beauty. On the other hand…!

    Rosey invited me to lunch!


  16. June 13, 2019 at 3:17 pm

    Funny. Similar idea and another good one!


  17. June 13, 2019 at 3:18 pm

    What a disappointment! The essentials of yesteryear find themselves brutally dismissed now they are no longer relevant.


  18. June 13, 2019 at 10:33 pm

    perhaps it’s time to sell and move on. 🙂


  19. June 14, 2019 at 5:34 pm

    There might be a few items in my house that will be taken down a peg or two as well… they think they are useful but there is no more room for them!
    This was fun!


    • June 14, 2019 at 8:10 pm

      Oh no! You’ll just have to steel yourself and break the bad news to them…
      I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  20. June 14, 2019 at 8:11 pm

    Wonderfully told from the utensil point of view!



  21. June 15, 2019 at 8:42 am

    Love the utensil angle – so inventive – had to read the first few lines twice to figure it out ! Different points of view about ‘heritage’ compared to modern stuff interesting too. Well done.


    • June 15, 2019 at 4:11 pm

      Yes, the first few lines could have been the “help” 🙂 I’m glad you liked it! I often see things like this while visiting stately homes near where I live, especially around the kitchen and servants’ areas, so we can see how things used to be.


  22. June 15, 2019 at 3:02 pm

    Just a chatter in the kitchen. All kitchens have them. It is difficult to please everyone.


    • June 15, 2019 at 4:12 pm

      Especially when you’re an iron. Irons never please me.


  23. June 15, 2019 at 5:44 pm

    Some people just don’t know how to show respect for the every-day necessities of life 🙂


  24. June 15, 2019 at 6:11 pm

    It must have been them youg’ens that which got no sense of history nor good ethnicity of family.


    • June 16, 2019 at 6:08 am

      If it doesn’t connect to the internet they just don’t want to know.

      Liked by 1 person

  25. June 15, 2019 at 9:42 pm

    Such a well fashioned dialogue. And so it goes…


  26. June 16, 2019 at 5:23 am

    lol Yep. Those words definitely took them down a peg or two. 🙂


    • June 16, 2019 at 6:12 am

      The poor guys are fading into history… at least they’re educational now 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  27. June 16, 2019 at 1:51 pm

    From a modern, functional point of view, all items in a museum could be considered “useless old shit”. Why would anyone with that perspective bother to visit a museum in the first place? Must’ve lost a bet or something. 😉
    This tale has the classic draliman humour but also contains a deeper message about history and obsolescence.


    • June 16, 2019 at 4:19 pm

      I’m guessing they came to see the gardens and wandered into the stately home by accident, thinking it was the gift shop 🙂
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  28. June 17, 2019 at 7:04 am

    Not easy to be aged and tossed away…


  29. June 17, 2019 at 4:36 pm

    Nice perspective 🙂


  30. June 18, 2019 at 8:06 am

    Poor old things. Such fascinating and useful lives they’ve lived and these boorish visitors are blind to it. Love the approach you’ve taken with this – most enjoyable.


    • June 18, 2019 at 6:23 pm

      Yes, after everything they’ve seen and how useful they were in the past…
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  31. June 18, 2019 at 2:58 pm

    Great work, it reminded me of the utensils and furniture in Beauty and the Beast


  32. June 19, 2019 at 7:37 am

    Now we know what they all do at a certain age…MOL…Pawkisses for a Happy Wednesday🐾😽💞


    • June 19, 2019 at 5:58 pm

      They grumble – just like us 🙂


  33. June 19, 2019 at 6:42 pm

    Yeah, I too wondered about that white crap 😉


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