Home > Fiction > FF – Ramblings from the Pub Part 1

FF – Ramblings from the Pub Part 1

Here is my contribution to Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Rochelle herself!


“You know that chap. Lenny. He’s got a telephone.

Like those ones your mam and pap had. Only older. Real old.

An’ it’s special. Connects ‘upstairs’. You know.

Angel HQ.

He’s got their ear.

He could use it to start the Apocalypse. Then end it. Reverse that ‘Climate Change’ whatsit.

Feed the starving. Home the homeless. Help the helpless. Just like that vampire with a soul. Buffy’s ex.

‘Angel’. That’s the one.

And what does he do?

Uses it to order pizza from that place down the street.

Some people don’t deserve a Hotline to Heaven.

Just sayin’.

Mine’s a pint.”


  1. January 2, 2020 at 9:02 pm

    Some pizza is heavenly! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. January 2, 2020 at 9:15 pm

    Those old phones are always good for pizza but they can do more too


  3. GHLearner
    January 2, 2020 at 10:01 pm

    “Reverse that climate change whatsit.” If only. 🙂 Great story, I especially love the Angel angle.


    • January 3, 2020 at 12:29 pm

      If only he’d thought of it 🙂
      You can’t beat a bit of Angel.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. January 2, 2020 at 10:40 pm

    Brilliant take on the prompt and some nice popular culture references too (I loved Angel). Wonder what I’d do with an Angel hotline…


    • January 3, 2020 at 12:30 pm

      Invite him round for tea! Hoping he wasn’t currently in an Angelus phase… 🙂


  5. January 2, 2020 at 10:47 pm

    Very imaginative and very well executed


    • January 3, 2020 at 12:32 pm

      Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!


  6. January 3, 2020 at 12:13 am

    the phone serves him right. what’s more heavenly than having pizza for dinner? 🙂


  7. January 3, 2020 at 2:32 am

    A hotline to heaven would be cool. Excellent and entertaining story, Ali.


  8. January 3, 2020 at 3:09 am

    Yanno… maybe he’s wise to use it just for ordering pizza… Could you imagine what his life would be like if peeps knew?
    Love this.


  9. January 3, 2020 at 3:17 am

    Super powers. Right.


    • January 3, 2020 at 12:38 pm

      Super-large stomach from all the pizza.


  10. January 3, 2020 at 11:30 am

    I didn’t know younger people had the patience to use a rotary dial. Some might not know what it was for. 😀 — Suzanne


    • January 3, 2020 at 12:38 pm

      Kids wouldn’t these days for sure 🙂


  11. January 3, 2020 at 1:48 pm

    Dear Ali,

    A hotline to heaven? Now there’s a concept. Must be great pizza. 😀




  12. January 3, 2020 at 3:32 pm

    Angel HQ. Love that. This story was just fun and whimsical. Most delightful.


    • January 4, 2020 at 4:41 pm

      I’m not entirely sure I believe a word of it, however 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  13. January 3, 2020 at 5:44 pm

    Very neat and imaginative. I particularly like “Home the homeless. Help the helpless.” Sounds just like the conversation one has in the pub after a few pints. Speaking of which, the last line’s pretty funny too!


    • January 4, 2020 at 4:42 pm

      I have a feeling he earns his pints via stories! I’m glad you liked it 🙂


  14. January 4, 2020 at 2:13 am

    You had me at Hotline to Heaven. Wonderful pub chat. Looking forward to more chapters.


    • January 4, 2020 at 4:43 pm

      I thought I’d call it “Part 1” in case he wants to come back with another wild tale 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  15. January 5, 2020 at 1:51 am

    He can call Heaven, but can he take a picture with it? Surf the internet?


    • January 5, 2020 at 6:30 am

      I’m afraid it’s only good for ordering pizzas and influencing world events. Which means no self-respecting nuder-40 would be interested.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. January 5, 2020 at 12:41 pm

    Loved your notion of a hotline to heaven – witty story Ali.


    • January 5, 2020 at 5:07 pm

      Thanks! It would be cool. And dangerous. Good job he only uses it for pizzas!


  17. January 5, 2020 at 4:49 pm

    A hotline to heaven? That’s nice, but can you take selfies with it?


    • January 5, 2020 at 4:50 pm

      Dammit, I usually scan the comments to make sure nobody already claimed my gag, but I was in a hurry. The one time I didn’t….


    • January 5, 2020 at 5:26 pm

      Plagiarism! No, wait, you’ve posted another comment.


  18. January 5, 2020 at 7:36 pm

    Give the guy a break! He can’t reverse climate change on an empty stomach! 😉


    • January 7, 2020 at 6:01 pm

      Good point! Unfortunately once he’s finished his pizza he’s feeling too full up to do anything 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  19. January 7, 2020 at 8:48 pm

    Alas… not all deserve a hotline… but it must be a very tasty pizza


    • January 9, 2020 at 7:44 am

      Too much Heavenly pizza is probably pretty bad for mortals, though it does taste pretty amazing!


  20. January 14, 2020 at 4:08 pm

    Or maybe that’s just it… Perfect priorities


    • January 16, 2020 at 12:30 pm

      Pizza is certainly one of my priorities!


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