Home > Fiction > FF – Not To Be

FF – Not To Be

Here is my contribution for Friday Fictioneers. Rochelle hosts, and also provided this week’s photo.

I’m a bit late this week. I finally got a little holiday now that furloughed staff are back in the office, and I forgot what day it was!

Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields


“Ah, darling, the roar of the greasepaint, the smell of the crowd…”

“I’d say you had that backwards, lovie-darling, but have you seen the audience tonight?”

“Plebs to a man.”

“Why let such riff-raff in? We are Actors. The hoi polloi have no right to enjoy our supreme talent, lovie.”

“Agree, darling, agree.”

Um, guys, your mics are on…

“Oh, um, well, lovie, that’s enough rehearsal for next week’s play, ‘The Arrogance of Actors’, um, um, oh.”

Guys, you know it’s the ‘El Lobo’ cartel’s annual get-together tonight, right…?

“To be… or not to be, that is the…”



Not to be, evidently.


  1. July 23, 2020 at 10:17 am

    Never bad mouth your audience


  2. July 23, 2020 at 12:04 pm

    And thus do the hoi polloi express their sentiments.


    • July 24, 2020 at 5:40 am

      With disappointment, anger and a hail of bullets.


  3. July 23, 2020 at 12:11 pm

    Picked a bad night to have a go at the audience. I’m off on annual leave too, I can’t handle all these people back in the office, I preferred the quiet!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. July 23, 2020 at 12:54 pm

    Unfortunately, it turned out to be the smell of the greasepaint and the shots from the crowd. It seems arrogance can kill at times. Well done, Alie. O_o — Suzanne


  5. July 23, 2020 at 3:07 pm

    Dear Ali,

    Twould seem they performed for a bang-up audience.



    Liked by 1 person

    • July 24, 2020 at 5:51 am

      Dear Rochelle,
      Their final performance went off with a bang, anyway 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. July 23, 2020 at 4:24 pm

    it ended with a bang but not the kind one would expect.


  7. July 23, 2020 at 5:56 pm

    Well I’d say they deserved exactly what they got! Made me smile. 🙂

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos


    • July 24, 2020 at 6:01 am

      A little harsh but yes, well-deserved 🙂


  8. July 23, 2020 at 7:19 pm

    I have always been grateful for the absence of live mics near me when I say something stupid. Well danced words of humor. 🙂


    • July 24, 2020 at 6:05 am

      Yes, quite a few TV personalities have been caught out like this, though the consequences weren’t quite so dire. I’m glad you liked it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  9. July 23, 2020 at 8:16 pm

    Little did they know that was their swan song performance. Good one, Alistair! 😀


    • July 24, 2020 at 6:09 am

      “… a lack-lustre performance… devoid of any real feeling… came as something of a relief when they were gunned down…” 🙂


  10. July 23, 2020 at 10:46 pm

    Careful with microphones you think are turned off, I always say.


  11. July 23, 2020 at 10:59 pm

    Now it’s too late to ask them to autograph your machine guns. Idiots…..

    Wait, you mean they can hear my comment?

    (Quickly hides behind Buster)


    • July 24, 2020 at 6:11 am

      Buster, everyone’s favourite shield possum…


  12. July 24, 2020 at 2:42 am

    Oops! One must always pay attention when saying bad things. That’s why I often mumble so no one can pick out the words.


  13. July 24, 2020 at 8:53 am

    More of a cremation than an ovation! Nice one!

    Here’s mine!


  14. Lyn
    July 24, 2020 at 9:42 am

    It must have been “The Scottish Play.”


    • July 25, 2020 at 5:01 am

      There is some bad luck often associated with that particular play!


  15. July 24, 2020 at 10:32 am

    Well, they rather asked for it. Know your audience, I always say.


    • July 25, 2020 at 5:06 am

      Unfortunately this pair care only about the adulation rather than the audience which gives it.


  16. July 24, 2020 at 10:59 am

    Oh dear, loose tongues cost lives again. I supppose that’s another theatre closed for the foreseeable.


    • July 25, 2020 at 5:09 am

      Come now, the show must go on! Maybe fire the sound engineer, though.


  17. July 26, 2020 at 5:55 am

    Haha damn mics. They catch out many.


  18. July 26, 2020 at 1:02 pm

    An inventive and witty take on the prompt. Lots of story within the 100 words.
    Well done.


    • July 26, 2020 at 3:06 pm

      Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it!


  19. July 27, 2020 at 12:32 pm

    Et tu El Lobo?


    • July 28, 2020 at 5:10 am

      I can imagine those were the actors’ last, gasped words!


  20. July 27, 2020 at 6:04 pm

    MOL MOL no questions about it😸Extra Pawkisses🐾😽💞


    • July 28, 2020 at 5:13 am

      No, it’s a done deal for them 🙂


  21. July 27, 2020 at 10:33 pm

    The hot mic knows all and keeps no secrets.


  22. July 28, 2020 at 12:20 am

    LOL. Too funny. I’m sure everything will work for someone in the end. Possibly the police if they get there in time.


    • July 28, 2020 at 5:16 am

      I’m sure it’ll all be explained away as a horrific accident. Thought the gun was a prop, guv, very sad…


  23. July 28, 2020 at 4:59 am

    This is as bad as deciding to speak another language so that other’s can’t understand you… but your assumption can always backfire when you don’t know your audience!

    Liked by 1 person

  24. July 28, 2020 at 5:17 am

    Oh my, what an adventure. Glad they lived to tell the tale 🙂 Happy you’re getting a little more free time to write.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. August 1, 2020 at 9:16 pm

    These unfortunate actors had a long COVID 19 break and lost their skills.


  26. August 2, 2020 at 5:05 pm

    I hope ‘The Arrogance of Actors’ is more exciting than ‘Waiting for Godot’! 😉


    • August 2, 2020 at 5:11 pm

      Sadly we’ll never know, since the titular actors are now riddled with cartel bullets 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  27. August 6, 2020 at 1:44 pm

    I think all politicians should be ‘mic-ed’ once they leave thier homes. All atheltes should be ‘mic’ed’ during thier events. That would be interesting conversation!


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