Home > Fiction > FF – Jinks and Simmons in – Crack Down!

FF – Jinks and Simmons in – Crack Down!

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Dale Rogerson.

Copyright Dale Rogerson

And now on BBC One, popular 70s police drama “Jinks and Simmons”.

(Cue cheesy 70s opening titles)

“Jinks, look at this.”

“Fairy lights?”

“Bastards. Sick, sick bastards. Break it down.”

“POLICE! NOBODY MOVE! You – name!”

“Um, Mr Wilberforce. This is my wife.”

“What’s the date, Mr Wilberforce? THE DATE, MAN!”

“Um, November 13th?”

“CORRECT! November! And what are these?”

“Um, Christmas lights. We, um, love Christmas.”

“Jinks, arrest them for offences contrary to the Misuse of Holidays Act (1697). Too early for fairy lights, Mr Wilberforce! Get these sick bastards out of my sight.”

“Sick, sick bastards.”

(Cue cheesy 70s end credits)

  1. November 11, 2020 at 8:02 pm

    Heh. Unlike me, my husband would vote for such Christmas policing! 😂 I’ll take my chances and keep pushing for an early Christmas tree and “fairy lights” though.


  2. November 11, 2020 at 8:05 pm

    I agree with the police, although they will have a busy November if they hope to round up everyone with early decorations up this year!


    • November 12, 2020 at 3:00 pm

      I’m sure Jinks and Simmons are equal to the task. For Simmons, it’s personal (for whatever reason)!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. November 11, 2020 at 8:36 pm

    😀 I wonder what they do to the people who leave their lights up all year long…….


  4. November 11, 2020 at 8:38 pm

    I just hope the lockdown lasts so the carol singers can’t start going door-to-door in two weeks time

    Liked by 1 person

    • November 12, 2020 at 3:03 pm

      “Aw, Boris, just two more weeks, please…”


  5. November 11, 2020 at 9:13 pm

    Hooray, Simmons!


  6. November 11, 2020 at 9:22 pm

    Viva Bah Humbug!


  7. November 11, 2020 at 9:31 pm

    Ha ha – my feelings exactly! Loved your inventive take on the photo prompt. 🙂

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos


    • November 12, 2020 at 3:11 pm

      Simmons has Right on his side 🙂


  8. November 11, 2020 at 10:01 pm

    hey it’s about time they started cracking down upon the real troublemakers


    • November 12, 2020 at 3:13 pm

      Exactly, let’s wash away the prematurely-decorating riff-raff.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. November 12, 2020 at 3:37 am

    There are restrictions around here.


    • November 12, 2020 at 3:17 pm

      Restrictions on putting up early decorations? Nice!


  10. Lyn
    November 12, 2020 at 6:40 am

    Ordinarily I’d be ticked off when stores put up Christmas decorations and trees in mid October, but this year the earlier the better I say. But I draw the line when they start putting Easter eggs, hot cross buns and fruit mince pies out in November. Jinks and Simmons can go suck on a lemon 😀 😀 😀
    A true D-man tale though 😉


    • November 12, 2020 at 3:22 pm

      They’d rather have a mince pie (if mince pies on November weren’t contrary to the Misuse of Holidays Act (1697)) 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Lyn
        November 12, 2020 at 10:13 pm

        LOL (confidentially between you and me, I’d eat a mince pie for morning tea any day) 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  11. November 12, 2020 at 1:40 pm

    Those police seem somewhat edgy. At least they didn’t start shooting. 😦 — Suzanne


    • November 12, 2020 at 3:23 pm

      Fortunately they’re British police, so they don’t have guns 🙂


  12. bearmkwa
    November 12, 2020 at 2:43 pm

    Wish it were so, kinda. Our neighbor’s have their lawn so full of lights we can’t sleep. Had to buy ‘blocker’ curtains.


    • November 12, 2020 at 3:24 pm

      I have neighbours like that but fortunately they face the side of the house. The week before Christmas, that’s when decorations should go up. Otherwise it’s not special 😦

      Liked by 1 person

  13. November 12, 2020 at 2:48 pm

    Christmas lights in November!?!? Really, the nerve of some people. Don’t they know Valentine’s season has already arrived and there should be cutout paper hearts in the windows…


    • November 12, 2020 at 3:25 pm

      Valentine’s is so October. I’m stocking up on Easter eggs…


      • November 12, 2020 at 3:55 pm

        There better still be some left when I do my Easter shopping in December!


        • November 13, 2020 at 6:52 am

          Doubtful. The early squirrel catches the nut…


  14. November 12, 2020 at 6:21 pm

    i looks like these cops having too much time in their hands. 🙂


  15. November 13, 2020 at 12:09 pm

    Mine are going up early this year and I don’t care!

    Here’s mine!


  16. November 13, 2020 at 2:08 pm

    Dear Ali,

    Aack! I hope I’m not in violation for posting this photo. I thought we needed something cheery.




    • November 14, 2020 at 7:06 am

      Dear Rochelle,
      Simmons believes that November is too early for cheery 😦 He’s a bit of a killjoy 🙂


  17. November 13, 2020 at 7:58 pm

    I don’t like the way the stores start pushing Christmas before Halloween, but I dislike more the idea of a law against it being enforced.


    • November 14, 2020 at 7:08 am

      Yes, it should be the weight of public opinion which stops this nonsense in its tracks 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  18. November 13, 2020 at 10:37 pm

    Christmas before Thanksgiving *is* criminal!


    • November 14, 2020 at 7:10 am

      I just Googled Thanksgiving and it appears to be late November, so that does sound like the sort of appropriate date to start thinking about Christmas!

      Liked by 1 person

      • November 14, 2020 at 7:39 pm

        Every year Christmas gets pushed earlier and earlier. Soon it will be before Halloween (Guy Fawkes in your neck of the woods if your neck of the woods is the UK.)

        Liked by 1 person

  19. November 14, 2020 at 2:39 am

    Don’t tell Jinks and Simmons, but I’m putting up my tree tomorrow! Very creative, Ali!


    • November 14, 2020 at 7:13 am

      Tomorrow? TOMORROW? I’ll try to keep quiet about it, but that Simmons is like a dog with a bone… 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  20. November 14, 2020 at 3:01 am

    I can only imagine the raids on Rite Aid. …


    • November 14, 2020 at 7:18 am

      I just Googled that – it’s a pharmacy in the USA which also seems to sell Christmas decorations? Well, Jinks and Simmons will soon put a stop to that nonsense 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • November 14, 2020 at 5:33 pm

        LOL. Yes. It is ‘drug store’ in America, which sell a lot more than just medications. It is also a sort of convenience store, with snacks, staple foods, greeting cards, candy and … yes … ‘seasonal items’ (which seem to predate the season in several months … ) 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  21. November 14, 2020 at 4:10 am

    What sick, sick bastards lol. Festive fun!

    We had stores start with Christmas September one year. It didn’t go well. Supermarkets have started selling hot cross buns on Boxing Day, that sends people mental.


    • November 14, 2020 at 7:19 am

      I reckon it takes all the fun and “specialness” out of Christmas. By the time actual Christmas Day comes I’m usually sick of it all.

      Liked by 1 person

  22. November 14, 2020 at 6:38 am

    Never heard of that Act. there are a few people here with their Christmas Tree already lit up. Please send the Police.


  23. November 14, 2020 at 2:49 pm

    They’re definitely not doing their job very well. The shops get away with anything. Anything, I say!


    • November 14, 2020 at 4:02 pm

      Jinks and Simmons, burst onto action!


  24. November 14, 2020 at 3:31 pm

    I’m with them! Not before December 1st!


    • November 14, 2020 at 4:02 pm

      The weekend before Christmas, I’m thinking…


  25. November 15, 2020 at 3:39 pm

    I think I’m with the force on this one. It is Novemeber and Christmas stuff of any description in November is sick! Sick, I tell you.


  26. November 15, 2020 at 9:22 pm

    I wouldn’t mind a mince pie, especially with a nice dollop of brandy butter. But don’t bother the cops – I had one left over from Guy Fawkes night!


    • November 16, 2020 at 6:00 am

      Left over from Guy Fawkes night? A likely story… 🙂


  27. November 16, 2020 at 12:09 am

    Fun story! November is a bit early, isn’t it?


  28. November 17, 2020 at 7:27 pm

    Gritty and true to the genre! 😜


    • November 18, 2020 at 6:09 am

      They’re your typical no-nonsense cops 🙂


  1. No trackbacks yet.

Speak to me - I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: