Home > Fiction > FF – Not a Holy Relic

FF – Not a Holy Relic

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by C.E. Ayr.

“Look, Brother!”

“Yes, the sign of Infinity!”

“There is no beginning. There is no end. All things are eternal.”

“We are one with the Universe, and the Universe is one with us.”

“It is a sign, Brother!”

“Yes, a sign! We are indeed blessed!”

“Blessed!”

There it is, Baz!

Yeah, I see it. Excuse me, gents…”

“Wait, touch not the Holy Relic, mortal!”

Um. It’s my shoelace.

“Your shoelace?

Yep.

“So… we couldn’t encase it in holy amber? The centrepiece of our religion, to worship for time unending?”

Not really. I need it to keep my shoe on.

“Arse.”

“Bugg’rit.”

  1. December 2, 2020 at 8:28 pm

    they needed a reality check anyway; that isn’t enough to hang the entire universe on.

    Liked by 1 person

    • December 3, 2020 at 8:38 am

      I dread to think what they’ll hang their hopes on next…

      Liked by 2 people

  2. December 2, 2020 at 8:30 pm

    Lace affair!

    Liked by 1 person

    • December 3, 2020 at 8:41 am

      Ha! If only they could “let it be” but they’ll be after something else soon.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. December 2, 2020 at 9:22 pm

    HAHAHA! Looking at my shoelace I have suddenly become enlightened!

    Like

  4. December 2, 2020 at 9:25 pm

    Ha ha – loved this!

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Like

    • December 3, 2020 at 8:41 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  5. December 2, 2020 at 9:30 pm

    Just have to keep looking. They’ll find something soon enough. This is how all religions start.

    Liked by 1 person

    • December 3, 2020 at 8:43 am

      Yes, I’m sure their centrepiece will soon emerge, for better or worse.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Lyn
    December 2, 2020 at 10:31 pm

    LOL Well…so much for devotion. 😮

    Like

  7. December 2, 2020 at 10:45 pm

    Dear Ali,

    Blessed are the pragmatic for they shall keep their shoes tied.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • December 3, 2020 at 8:48 am

      Dear Rochelle,
      First things first. Warm feet before devotion 🙂
      Ali

      Like

  8. December 2, 2020 at 11:46 pm

    I have a feeling they will soon find some other piece of garbage to worship, they don’t look too fussy! 🙂

    Like

  9. December 3, 2020 at 7:01 am

    Funny exchange. Reminds me of the person who saw Jesus in a grilled cheese sandwich. Holy is as holy does. I wonder if the grilled cheese could walk on water? These guys will never know now with the shoestring 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  10. December 3, 2020 at 9:35 am

    It can’t be a real holy relic if looking at it doesn’t melt your face off, right?

    Like

    • December 3, 2020 at 3:51 pm

      True. I saw Jesus in a piece of toast once and my eyeballs exploded…

      Like

  11. December 3, 2020 at 10:51 am

    The shoelace isn’t exceptional but that’s great bricklaying. 🙂 — Suzanne

    Like

    • December 3, 2020 at 3:51 pm

      They’re obsessed with the wrong thing 🙂

      Like

  12. December 3, 2020 at 11:17 am

    Hahaha! I like how the lofty language soon descended into foul-speak when the facade fell away 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • December 3, 2020 at 3:52 pm

      Now we know how they talk when they’re safely back in the monastery 🙂

      Like

      • December 4, 2020 at 8:01 am

        Ahhhh, a little bit of soft, delicate English slang there, at the end. I can almost hear Bows Bells ringing. And aptly applied to some other louts, anxious to start yet another religion. A totally different part of a shoe should be applied to them. 😳

        Like

        • December 4, 2020 at 5:02 pm

          They’re too religious to have gone with “proper down the pub” swearing 🙂

          Like

  13. December 3, 2020 at 11:30 am

    Oh the disappointment of it all.

    Like

    • December 3, 2020 at 3:57 pm

      Will they ever recover? Probably…

      Like

  14. December 3, 2020 at 1:54 pm

    I wonder what they’d make of one of those elastic bands that get dropped all over the place by posties?

    Like

    • December 3, 2020 at 4:02 pm

      You mean “circle of life” symbols? Maybe they could snap them on their wrists the next time they think they’ve found a holy relic.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. bearmkwa
    December 3, 2020 at 3:10 pm

    Cackling laughter echoes through the car cabin! Unbridled hilarity. Love this one!

    Like

  16. December 3, 2020 at 5:54 pm

    Love a good laugh. Well done.

    Like

    • December 4, 2020 at 4:58 pm

      Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Like

  17. December 3, 2020 at 6:17 pm

    it’s a fun read. one of the best this week. 🙂

    Like

  18. December 3, 2020 at 6:36 pm

    MOL…I think it’s a holy shoelace…at least it’s endless..MOL😸Pawkisses for a Happy Week ahead🐾😽💞

    Like

    • December 4, 2020 at 4:58 pm

      I bet you’d have fun with it, Binky 🙂

      Like

  19. December 4, 2020 at 3:05 am

    Dammit! Now they needs must find something else…

    Like

    • December 4, 2020 at 5:01 pm

      I’m sure they’ll stumble across some other discarded item sooner or later…

      Liked by 1 person

  20. December 4, 2020 at 6:20 am

    One man’s scared object is another’s shoelace. Haha. Bow before the alrighty shoelace…

    Like

  21. December 4, 2020 at 9:35 am

    The greatest philosophical expectations thwarted by a simple piece of a practical shoelace.
    Oh well, perhaps they need to find another inexplicable symbol to entertain themselves.

    Like

    • December 4, 2020 at 5:03 pm

      Knowing this pair they’re bound to find some old piece of tat to base their religion around.

      Liked by 1 person

  22. December 4, 2020 at 6:36 pm

    LOL. I mean if they want to, they could always buy an identical shoelace and continue thinking deep thoughts about it. But they better let this guy have his back. Adorable story. Thanks for sharing!

    Like

    • December 6, 2020 at 6:13 am

      I think they’re too disappointed by the whole experience. I expect they’ll just go down the pub 🙂

      Like

  23. December 4, 2020 at 8:45 pm

    Sad they lost their centerpiece, but, hey, a guy needs his shoelace. I’m sure they’ll find another.

    Like

    • December 6, 2020 at 6:16 am

      Yes, I don’t think these guys have much trouble finding symbolism everywhere and anywhere.

      Like

  24. December 4, 2020 at 8:57 pm

    And that’s why we’re only left with impractical religious beliefs. All the practical things are busy serving practical purposes.

    Like

    • December 6, 2020 at 6:16 am

      They certainly need to find something a bit more unsubstantial to base their religion on.

      Like

  25. December 5, 2020 at 4:25 pm

    The practical side of me always enjoys the irony of a simple explanation 🙂

    Like

    • December 6, 2020 at 6:18 am

      Me too, I like things to work out in a practical, logical way 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  26. December 5, 2020 at 4:34 pm

    Another crackpot religion, that’s what the world needs now!

    Like

    • December 6, 2020 at 6:19 am

      Keeps ’em out of trouble, I suppose! Sometimes…

      Like

  27. December 6, 2020 at 1:35 pm

    Made me laugh out loud — great story. Love the way the dialogue goes sharply down hill at the end.

    Like

    • December 7, 2020 at 6:35 am

      They don’t handle disappointment at all well!

      Like

  28. December 6, 2020 at 9:24 pm

    They could always go to the community’s lost-and-found. I’m sure there are a few spare strings there!

    Like

  29. December 8, 2020 at 12:04 am

    I could just see this conversation, I liked it

    Like

    • December 8, 2020 at 8:14 am

      Thank, I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Like

  30. December 8, 2020 at 3:20 am

    Fun story! The concept is great and the dialogue really sparks.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. December 8, 2020 at 1:41 pm

    Too bad something like this doesn’t happen every time. It would save us quite a lot of trouble.

    Liked by 1 person

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