Home > Fiction > FF – Live by the Country

FF – Live by the Country

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Claire Fuller.

Copyright Claire Fuller

“I’m not sure I trust this place, darling.”

“Well, we need a new tyre… hello, sir!”

“Aye.”

“We need a new tyre, please.”

“Aye. ‘Ere.”

“We need one with tread on it!”

“Aaarrrrr, ye city folks, always want’n somethin’. ‘Ere.”

“Um…”

“What? You want me ‘t fit it fer yer too?”

“Yes, obviously!”

“Aaarrrrr, ye city folks…”

“How much?”

“Three cows an’ a bushel o’ corn.”

“What? What? I’ll show you… um…”

“Aaarrrrr, no, darn city folks, you hold a pitchfork like this, see?”

“Ah yes, thanks.”

stab stab stab

“Darling!”

“What? Live by the country, die by the country.”

vroooooom!

  1. December 8, 2021 at 5:23 pm

    LOL! I thought this would end the other way around! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. December 8, 2021 at 6:12 pm

    Now who will fit his tyre?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. December 8, 2021 at 7:04 pm

    Stupid city slicker probably forked the new tYre before the old man corrected his tool handling…

    Liked by 1 person

    • December 9, 2021 at 1:27 pm

      Lucky he didn’t fork his wife as well…
      That’s correct, it’s spelt with a “y”!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. December 8, 2021 at 7:22 pm

    Wow! Those were expesive tires! Unless you happen to have three cows you are planning to dend to the glue factory? I think he’s a cheatin’ city folk….“Aaarrrrr.”

    Liked by 1 person

  5. December 8, 2021 at 8:14 pm

    Reminds me of one of my favorite Popeye the Sailor Man’s lines: “It’s all I can stands, I can’t stands no more!” Hoping the dud tyre gets them somewhere a proper, hassle-free replacement can be gotten. Good dialogue with a gruesome-though-humorous end.

    Like

  6. December 8, 2021 at 8:54 pm

    Well, in all fairness she did try to warn him…

    Like

  7. December 8, 2021 at 9:30 pm

    They need a third Roper to catch all the cows!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. December 8, 2021 at 9:34 pm

    The moral of this story is . . . Stay in the city. Gangs are safer.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. December 8, 2021 at 9:54 pm

    Ouch.

    Like

  10. December 9, 2021 at 1:29 pm

    Dear Ali,

    Not the best day in the country. Moral: Always stow and extra cow and some corn.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • December 9, 2021 at 4:43 pm

      Dear Rochelle,
      See, as city folks they didn’t know that!
      Ali

      Like

  11. December 9, 2021 at 2:13 pm

    Yikes! No wonder the place looks deserted! Nice tale.

    Like

  12. December 9, 2021 at 7:02 pm

    country folks are weird. but then who’s talking? 🙂

    Like

  13. December 10, 2021 at 12:17 pm

    Like an episode of The Archers, an everyday story of country folk!

    Like

    • December 12, 2021 at 5:30 am

      I wonder how they’d do the “stab” sound effects 😮

      Like

  14. December 10, 2021 at 2:58 pm

    Thank Cat I’m a Country girl 😹Pawkisses for a Happy Weekend🐾😽💞

    Liked by 1 person

  15. December 10, 2021 at 5:51 pm

    Whops, that’s a bit harsh, no? You got me completely baffled withthe spelling and I’m relieved to learn that I haven’t forgotten everything and tire can also be used. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • December 12, 2021 at 5:34 am

      Yes, “tire” is a valid spelling in the US (but never in the UK) 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  16. December 11, 2021 at 12:00 am

    Well done. Very funny. 🙂

    Like

  17. Bear
    December 11, 2021 at 1:43 pm

    Great story! Merry Christmas!

    Like

  18. December 11, 2021 at 3:48 pm

    Goodness. Country Guy was an old grump, though, and irritating enough to make you want to fork him 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  19. December 11, 2021 at 4:00 pm

    All a bit extreme when all they wanted was a tyre change!

    Liked by 1 person

    • December 12, 2021 at 5:43 am

      It all spiralled out of control 🙂

      Like

  20. December 11, 2021 at 6:22 pm

    I enjoyed your humorous take on the differences between city dwellers and country folk. It was straight out of Midsomer Murders!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Lyn
    December 26, 2021 at 9:54 am

    🤣🤣🤣🤣 Oh aaaar – O-Wor-K-Wordip (did you ever watch Worzel Gummidge on the telly welly? I can’t stand the new Worzel Gummidge. No one will every play the part as well as Jon Pertwee 😭

    Like

    • December 28, 2021 at 7:32 am

      I watched the original Worzel back when I was little, but have never seen the remake.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Lyn
        December 29, 2021 at 6:12 am

        It’s dreadful… but then I loved Jon Pertwee as Dr Who, too.

        Like

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