draliman on life

It’s that time of the year again! It’s Evil Squirrel’s Ninth Annual Contest of Whatever! Woohoo!

This year we’ve been given a picture of a critter. Who is he/she? What is he/she? That’s our job. It’s backstory time!

I have decided to write a little poem. Since I can’t write poetry, I am using a poetic structure I have made up called “random pentameter”. This means that it doesn’t have to scan or rhyme and things change from verse to verse. I can see it becoming quite popular.

The fact is clear, for all to see
From rhino to tiniest bumblebee
Our poor little friend is obviously
Butt ugly.

His favourite story, the ugly duck
Became a swan
He hoped this for himself
But no such luck.

Wandering the world alone
No luggage, anything, not e’en a phone
He chanced upon a place, it was the best
He’d found the Evil Squirrel’s Nest!

In Shelf Critter Theatre^(R)(TM)(c) he became a God
Always watching out for the underdog
Exalted above all the rest
In every episode at the Nest.

He was so happy
So carefree
It really was a sight to see
On a natural high
He carelessly
Walked into the road with little fuss
And was run over by the Number 19 bus.

Wait, wait wait, some of you probably wanted a happy ending? Here you go.

There was no strife
Within his life
Our critter even found a wife!
Isn’t that nice.