Home > Poems > The Ninth CoW – Critter!

The Ninth CoW – Critter!

It’s that time of the year again! It’s Evil Squirrel’s Ninth Annual Contest of Whatever! Woohoo!

This year we’ve been given a picture of a critter. Who is he/she? What is he/she? That’s our job. It’s backstory time!

I have decided to write a little poem. Since I can’t write poetry, I am using a poetic structure I have made up called “random pentameter”. This means that it doesn’t have to scan or rhyme and things change from verse to verse. I can see it becoming quite popular.

Copyright Evil Squirrel’s Nest

The fact is clear, for all to see
From rhino to tiniest bumblebee
Our poor little friend is obviously
Butt ugly.

His favourite story, the ugly duck
Became a swan
He hoped this for himself
But no such luck.

Wandering the world alone
No luggage, anything, not e’en a phone
He chanced upon a place, it was the best
He’d found the Evil Squirrel’s Nest!

In Shelf Critter Theatre(R)(TM)(c) he became a God
Always watching out for the underdog
Exalted above all the rest
In every episode at the Nest.

He was so happy
So carefree
It really was a sight to see
On a natural high
He carelessly
Walked into the road with little fuss
And was run over by the Number 19 bus.

Wait, wait wait, some of you probably wanted a happy ending? Here you go.

There was no strife
Within his life
Our critter even found a wife!
Isn’t that nice.

Categories: Poems Tags:
  1. February 27, 2022 at 6:48 pm

    Hahaha the happy ending was nice (and not sure you made this style up as I have seen it before) but definitely the draliman signature prose in flow here


    • February 28, 2022 at 9:58 am

      I’m sure there are many people who can’t write poetry without mixing it all up ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      • February 28, 2022 at 6:26 pm

        Well that is a wonderful part of poetry – not all prose has to for a pattern or a form- but I know you know that!!

        Liked by 1 person

      • February 28, 2022 at 6:26 pm

        Also- my favorite kind of prose is like the free verse you have is here!


        • March 1, 2022 at 4:17 pm

          Yay ๐Ÿ™‚ I quite like it too, not as “forced”.

          Liked by 1 person

          • March 3, 2022 at 9:07 pm

            I have a question for you- would you interested in sharing a short story for Marsha’s story chat in April of this year? It has to be a fresh story (any length but I think the they prefer short) anyhow – if you are interested I will email you more info


            • March 4, 2022 at 2:56 pm

              I would be interested in details unless I have to commit – I always get caught out when I commit to things ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

              Liked by 1 person

  2. February 27, 2022 at 7:26 pm

    ๐Ÿคฃ You gotta look both ways when crossing a street! Pity nobody told it before it did and that bus got in the horrible accident from hitting whatever it is…. Bravo! Wonderful pantameter thingie! ๐Ÿ˜€


    • February 28, 2022 at 10:01 am

      I’m surprised the bus didn’t see him in time, all neon purple and all!


  3. February 27, 2022 at 8:34 pm

    I think he’s a cute little guy and I like poem with the happy ending! I remember studying rhombic perimeter in school. Oh, wait. That’s geometry, not poetry.

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 28, 2022 at 10:02 am

      Yeah, he is cute but that would have messed up my “poem” ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  4. February 27, 2022 at 9:00 pm

    I love it! Our pink friend would be happy with this one.


    • February 28, 2022 at 10:02 am

      More happy with the happy ending I expect!


  5. February 27, 2022 at 9:06 pm

    It’s poetry Jim, but not as we know it. Hang on – you’re name’s not Jim!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. February 27, 2022 at 10:47 pm

    Oof. How bad was the accident though? Did he get the stuffing knocked out of him or just a tire skid? ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿฅบ Poor ugly stuffie
    I hope he had a nice insurance policy. Y’know, for that wife of his ๐Ÿ˜…
    Digging this new storytelling approach! I hope we get to see more of this style. ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿปโ˜บ๏ธ


  7. February 28, 2022 at 2:27 am

    Poetry! Now that was the last thing I expected… but I think your random pentameter might catch on. This was unexpectedly brilliant, and sad to think that this poor guy caught the bus that was meant for Buster. Thank you for entering and showing off one of your many hidden talents in the process!


    • February 28, 2022 at 10:06 am

      Ha, “unexpectedly brilliant” ๐Ÿ™‚
      I think Buster is suing…


      • February 28, 2022 at 3:46 pm

        LOL, I really didn’t mean that to sound like a backhanded compliment! I think yours may be the first poetic CoW entry ever…


        • March 1, 2022 at 4:16 pm

          Yay! I expect I win a special prize for that! Huh? Huh?


  8. March 1, 2022 at 12:10 pm

    Love the new poetic form….I’m all for it. I wrote a poem for the competition this year too BUT you definitely rocked it further than I did!



  9. March 4, 2022 at 2:14 am

    You are quite the poet… I see a ‘prize laurate’ in your future. But you do realize, the uglier things are the more interesting and ‘richer’ they seem. Visit any aquarium shop and checkout the prices.


    • March 4, 2022 at 2:57 pm

      I fall over in shock when I see the prices of some fish!

      Liked by 1 person

      • March 4, 2022 at 10:43 pm

        I don’t realyy like fish. I’ve enver had to eat fish as a kid. It costs twice (plus) what hamber for tacos costs. I like tacos. It’s hard for me to try fish!

        Liked by 1 person

  10. March 6, 2022 at 4:42 pm

    MOL…I’m glad for the happy end, but we would have liked it too, when he was…well…you know…MOL…Ps I think you did great on your poem, Draliman *paws up* Pawkiss๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ˜ฝ๐Ÿ’ž


    • March 8, 2022 at 7:24 am

      I’m glad you enjoyed my poetic experiment ๐Ÿ™‚


  11. Lyn
    March 7, 2022 at 10:56 am

    Oh that was so lovely. You have a talent for poetry. Let’s see some more ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿฎ


  1. March 4, 2022 at 9:58 am
  2. July 25, 2022 at 12:18 am

Speak to me - I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: