FF – Unearthed
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Lisa Fox.
The building was overgrown now. Condemned. After only 20 years, cracks had appeared, floors had collapsed
Jens had helped build the place. He felt a little guilty at its early demise – and well he should. It turns out that if you mix too many dead bodies into the concrete, it ruins its structural integrity.
Sighing, he turned to leave. Best to get gone before the excited archaeologists who had descended on the place realised that they had unearthed, not “Marcus Paulinus of the Roman Legion” but “Tommy ‘The Tooth’ Timpson, erstwhile mob accountant”.
The Cartel was gonna be pissed.
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draliman on life 
Obviously he miscalculated the body-to-concrete ratio. The most widely used formula is 1 body to 325 kilograms.
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It’s scary you know that 😮 Unfortunately our hero mixed up his Imperial and metric 😦
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Tommy “The Tooth” is going to have a spectacular comeback
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I’m sure it’ll come as quite a surprise to people on both sides of the law.
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if he had burned the body and the ashes mixed with cement, he wouldn’t have this problem. 🙂
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He’s a bit lazy. Happy to take the money, not so keen on doing a good job!
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Can’t get decent builders these days!
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It’s pure laziness. Magickmermaid has already provided us with the very simple rule of thumb!
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The bottom seems to have fallen out of the building trade. The back, arms, legs, heads, and stomachs too it appears!
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Every body part represented in Jens’ construction!
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Not necessarily all in the same place though!
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Is Jimmy Hoffa there also?
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It wouldn’t surprise me!
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Hehehe. Tommy the tooth will make it into a museum, who’d have thought?
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A fine example of “Homo Dodgius Accountitatus” 🙂
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He should have calculated the ratio properly…
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It’s simple enough. Lazy sod.
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You’d think…
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Right. It is important to stick with the recipe. Or at lease keep the proportions equal. 🙂
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In my day, gangsters took pride in their work… 🙂
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This could be a new episode of the Sopranos!
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I will submit it immediately!
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Good tale.
Tracey
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Thanks 🙂
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True story: When I was in junior high school for kids in the (cough, hack) honors program, my class was presented with an exercise on how to deal with dead bodies in a future where there was no more room to bury people in cemeteries. I would like to go back 33 years and submit this brilliant ideas of using the dead as building materials. Couldn’t be any worse than some of the crap they’re making homes out of today…
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That idea would have got you a top grade, plus a visit to the child psychologist…
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Ha Ha, loved this one. Probably explains why our local Asda Carpark has been pulled down and rebuilt – too many bodies in the concrete! 🙂
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It’s more common than you’d think 🙂
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Most excellent storytelling. I must remember that pro-tip. I love the mob accountant’s name.
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They all seem to have names like that 🙂
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Uh-huh. If you were a gangster what would you like your nickname to be?
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Drali the Doornob. That’ll instil fear into the most vicious gangster, I’m sure 😉
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🙂 Especially if they have a bad tooth.
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This was a ‘read out loud to my husband’ story. We both loved it. Very good. Especially love ‘Tommy the Tooth Timpson;. Still chuckling at that.
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I’m glad you both enjoyed it 🙂
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He’s have been better off grinding the bones to make bread… fi fi fo fum
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A nice side hustle too – “Jens’ Croissants Ltd” 🙂
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Dear Ali,
Perhaps he should’ve cremated the body before mixing it into the concrete. A story well told.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
None to bright, and in too much of a hurry, that’s our Jens.
Ali
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Great story!!
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!
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