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FF – Unearthed

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Lisa Fox.

Copyright Lisa Fox

The building was overgrown now. Condemned. After only 20 years, cracks had appeared, floors had collapsed

Jens had helped build the place. He felt a little guilty at its early demise – and well he should. It turns out that if you mix too many dead bodies into the concrete, it ruins its structural integrity.

Sighing, he turned to leave. Best to get gone before the excited archaeologists who had descended on the place realised that they had unearthed, not “Marcus Paulinus of the Roman Legion” but “Tommy ‘The Tooth’ Timpson, erstwhile mob accountant”.

The Cartel was gonna be pissed.

  1. June 2, 2022 at 4:55 pm

    Obviously he miscalculated the body-to-concrete ratio. The most widely used formula is 1 body to 325 kilograms.

    Liked by 2 people

    • June 4, 2022 at 8:04 am

      It’s scary you know that 😮 Unfortunately our hero mixed up his Imperial and metric 😦

      Liked by 3 people

  2. June 2, 2022 at 7:05 pm

    Tommy “The Tooth” is going to have a spectacular comeback

    Liked by 2 people

    • June 4, 2022 at 8:05 am

      I’m sure it’ll come as quite a surprise to people on both sides of the law.


  3. June 2, 2022 at 8:38 pm

    if he had burned the body and the ashes mixed with cement, he wouldn’t have this problem. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • June 4, 2022 at 8:07 am

      He’s a bit lazy. Happy to take the money, not so keen on doing a good job!

      Liked by 2 people

  4. June 2, 2022 at 9:16 pm

    Can’t get decent builders these days!

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 4, 2022 at 8:10 am

      It’s pure laziness. Magickmermaid has already provided us with the very simple rule of thumb!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. June 2, 2022 at 9:16 pm

    The bottom seems to have fallen out of the building trade. The back, arms, legs, heads, and stomachs too it appears!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. June 3, 2022 at 2:45 am

    Is Jimmy Hoffa there also?

    Liked by 2 people

  7. June 3, 2022 at 2:21 pm

    Hehehe. Tommy the tooth will make it into a museum, who’d have thought?


  8. June 3, 2022 at 5:45 pm

    He should have calculated the ratio properly…


  9. June 3, 2022 at 9:50 pm

    Right. It is important to stick with the recipe. Or at lease keep the proportions equal. 🙂


  10. June 4, 2022 at 1:26 am

    This could be a new episode of the Sopranos!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. June 4, 2022 at 2:07 am

    Good tale.


  12. June 4, 2022 at 5:07 pm

    True story: When I was in junior high school for kids in the (cough, hack) honors program, my class was presented with an exercise on how to deal with dead bodies in a future where there was no more room to bury people in cemeteries. I would like to go back 33 years and submit this brilliant ideas of using the dead as building materials. Couldn’t be any worse than some of the crap they’re making homes out of today…

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 6, 2022 at 6:08 am

      That idea would have got you a top grade, plus a visit to the child psychologist…


  13. June 5, 2022 at 6:08 pm

    Ha Ha, loved this one. Probably explains why our local Asda Carpark has been pulled down and rebuilt – too many bodies in the concrete! 🙂


    • June 8, 2022 at 6:04 am

      It’s more common than you’d think 🙂


  14. June 5, 2022 at 6:57 pm

    Most excellent storytelling. I must remember that pro-tip. I love the mob accountant’s name.


    • June 6, 2022 at 6:13 am

      They all seem to have names like that 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • June 6, 2022 at 3:08 pm

        Uh-huh. If you were a gangster what would you like your nickname to be?


        • June 7, 2022 at 5:54 am

          Drali the Doornob. That’ll instil fear into the most vicious gangster, I’m sure 😉

          Liked by 1 person

  15. June 6, 2022 at 2:14 am

    This was a ‘read out loud to my husband’ story. We both loved it. Very good. Especially love ‘Tommy the Tooth Timpson;. Still chuckling at that.


  16. Lyn
    June 6, 2022 at 11:55 am

    He’s have been better off grinding the bones to make bread… fi fi fo fum


  17. June 6, 2022 at 12:50 pm

    Dear Ali,

    Perhaps he should’ve cremated the body before mixing it into the concrete. A story well told.




    • June 7, 2022 at 5:52 am

      Dear Rochelle,
      None to bright, and in too much of a hurry, that’s our Jens.


  18. June 6, 2022 at 9:56 pm

    Great story!!


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