Home > Fiction > Damn You, Hollyvood!

Damn You, Hollyvood!

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by David Stewart.

Copyright David Stewart

“’Ere, is that a light over by the spooky underground entrance?”

“Maybe. Best take a look.”

They sauntered over. Overhead, thunder rumbled (ominously). One cautiously opened the door and flicked the light switch. The stairway (predictably) remained dark. Overhead, thunder rumbled (even more ominously).

“Should we look?”

“Are you kidding? In a film we’d be ‘Security Guards 1 and 2’. We wouldn’t even last to the opening credits!”

They left. Voices came from downstairs.

“Damn Hollyvood mooveess! Ve vill not be drinking bloot zis night, children.”

“Aw, Pappa, you promised…”

“Ve vill try ze goth nightclub. Ve vill fit right in!”

“Yay!”

  1. August 31, 2022 at 2:28 pm

    Timorous vampires!

    Like

    • September 1, 2022 at 1:14 pm

      They don’t make ’em like they used to.

      Like

  2. August 31, 2022 at 2:44 pm

    Should those children be out this late at night? Do we need to call Social Services?

    Like

    • September 1, 2022 at 1:16 pm

      The oldest kid did try playing outside during daylight, but it didn’t work out so well for him 😮

      Liked by 1 person

  3. August 31, 2022 at 3:08 pm

    Thank God for hollywood movies I guess.
    Great story..

    Like

  4. August 31, 2022 at 3:23 pm

    Ha! Just shows, everyone should watch more movies. Great stuff

    Like

    • September 1, 2022 at 1:19 pm

      Yep, you never know when a life-saving tip will lodge in your brain 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. August 31, 2022 at 3:43 pm

    Poor vampires; their night was ruined. 😀

    Like

    • September 1, 2022 at 1:23 pm

      Never mind, maybe they’ll find someone, sorry, something nice down the goth nightclub to eat 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Michael Humphris
    August 31, 2022 at 4:26 pm

    I thought of a well known TV family, lovely

    Like

  7. August 31, 2022 at 4:51 pm

    A similar idea this week – yours is more fun – poor vampires! 🙂

    Like

    • September 1, 2022 at 1:29 pm

      Yes, but my security guards were more savvy than your protagonist 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  8. August 31, 2022 at 6:42 pm

    Batty vampires hanging out at goth nightclubs? Well yeaaaaah!!!! And you’re a master of doofus dialogues, Ali, as always.

    Like

    • September 1, 2022 at 1:30 pm

      They’ll be disappointed (and hungry) when they discover ever other vampire had the same idea and there’s no actual humans there 🙂

      Like

  9. August 31, 2022 at 6:58 pm

    Evil cackles… great one! Love the way you set this one up.

    Like

    • September 1, 2022 at 1:31 pm

      Thanks! It looked like a night for (ominous) thunder 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  10. August 31, 2022 at 7:09 pm

    Now I don’t have to wonder who those weird people are in all the black clothing. You’ve broken the spell 🙂

    Like

    • September 1, 2022 at 1:36 pm

      They’re perfectly harmless, honest 🙂

      Like

      • September 2, 2022 at 3:49 am

        That’s what they ALL say right before they suck all the blood from your body. Well HAH! They’d probably wind up with my pacemaker stuck in their teeth. That would show them!

        Like

  11. August 31, 2022 at 8:58 pm

    Dear Ali,

    Ah vampires. No doubt they’ll blend right in at the Goth nightclub. That is until the patrons feel the suck. 😉

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • September 1, 2022 at 1:38 pm

      Dear Rochelle,
      I’m sure they’ll be a huge hit! Until, as you say…
      Ali

      Like

  12. August 31, 2022 at 9:28 pm

    Baby vamps. That’s really creepy 🙂

    Like

  13. August 31, 2022 at 11:51 pm

    Cute!

    Like

  14. September 1, 2022 at 7:52 am

    Hollyblood… Help! …but great story, as always, Draliman😸Pawkisses from Heaven just for you🐾😽✨

    Like

    • September 1, 2022 at 1:45 pm

      I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂

      Like

  15. September 1, 2022 at 12:25 pm

    Haha, saved by movies. Who would’ve thought?

    Like

  16. September 1, 2022 at 2:14 pm

    Right. If it’s going to happen, they deserve more sex and violence as well as better billing. 🙂

    Like

  17. September 1, 2022 at 10:11 pm

    i guess better luck next time. 🙂

    Like

  18. September 2, 2022 at 4:45 pm

    I really like where you took this, Ali. The vampires in “What We Do in the Shadows” came to mind. If Hollywood movies provide no other service, their work is done.

    Like

  19. September 2, 2022 at 4:57 pm

    Great take on the visual 🙂

    Like

  1. September 6, 2022 at 1:29 am

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