draliman on life

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Na’ama Yehuda.

Ah, there’s a big queue and it’s raining. How very British 🙂

To read the other stories, click on the froggy.

Copyright Na’ama Yehuda

Queuing for days. Life or death lottery.

Red ticket? Fiery death. Green ticket? A seat on the Ark Ship.

Uproar! All the seats filled by fat cats, politicians, dictators. Ordinary people? Doomed to die when the asteroid hits.

The Ark Ship leaves for its new home. The people of the world prepare.

News flash! The Ark Ship’s off course! Headed for the sun! Very sad. Everyone dead. And incidentally, completely unrelated, that asteroid? Not going to hit Earth after all.

Conspiracy? Hush. Bite your tongue and get on with your life. A fresh start! Don’t screw it up.

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by J Hardy Carroll.

Copyright J Hardy Carroll

“Ha ha you have tied my utensils to the ceiling what a jape.”

“Yes ha ha now you cannot cook.”

“But… (line!)”

(But I must cook…)

“But I must cook I shall retrieve my utensils.”

“No you must not you may be hurt.”

“Oh nonsense I will just use this ladder help I am falling.”

“Oh no he is dead how tragic what have I done what have I done.”

(Cut!)

We hope you enjoyed our safety video. Don’t muck about in the kitchen! It’s a dangerous place!

(Actors sought for our next video, “Danger in the Bedroom!” Preferably with talent this time.)

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by C.E. Ayr.

I had a bit of trouble coming up with a story this week. Click on the froggy for all the other stories!

Copyright C.E. Ayr

The special lenses easily picked out the relevant letters encoded into the text. Writing them down, Jerry smiled. Karl Marx’s tomb in Highgate Cemetery. Too easy. Jerry was one of the best.

He arrived at Highgate after dark. Placing the package on the gravestone, he watched from the bushes as it was… stolen by a drunken hobo! Chasing down the thief, snapping his neck and replacing the package cost ten vital minutes, but finally it was collected, and payment left.

Job done.

Some days he really regretted taking a job at DeliverMyFoodInSecretBecauseTheWifePutMeOnADietAndShellKillMe.com.

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Penny Gadd.

For the other stories, click on the froggy.

Copyright Penny Gadd

Knock knock

“Hi, welcome, come in!”

“Oh, okay, thanks.”

“Here, let me show you around. Here’s the sofa.”

“Oh, yes. Nice.”

“And the bookcase.”

“Lovely. I see you have all fifteen volumes of ‘Yapia’.”

“Yes.”

“What’s that, then?”

“Dunno. It’s all in foreign.”

“Oh. And that plant. Very interesting. What is it?”

“A man-eating death plant. It’s hungry.”

“Oh, man!”

“Sorry.”

“I only came round to borrow a cup of sugar.”

“Yeah. But what can you do?”

“I know. Nice knowing you. Wow. Bummer.”

“Right? Plant, eat!”

Slobber! Chomp! Burrrrrp! More! Feed me!

“Bon appetite, plant.”

Knock knock

“Ooh, dessert!”

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Linda Kreger.

For this week’s other stories, click on the froggy.

Copyright Linda Kreger

“Broken leg at my time of life, that table left where anyone could trip over it…”

“Your table, Gran.”

“That house is a tip…”

“Your house, Gran.”

“Now I’m stuck on this hill, no strength, you youngsters…”

“Maybe if you’d been more careful…”

“The cheek!”

“Pull yourself along a bit?”

“At my time of life?”

“Drop your shopping, we’ll carry it.”

“You will not!”

“Please, Gran, we need you to help out here…”

“Be more careful, pull myself along, drop my shopping, help out… didn’t happen in my day… no respect, youngsters today… be telling me to release the brakes next…”

“GAAAHHHH!”

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Dale Rogerson.

I’m in a weird mood today so here’s a weird story. Click on the froggy to read all the other contributions.

Copyright Dale Rogerson

It appears to be a restaurant like any other…

“Superb meal, what-ho?”

“Top hole, don’t’cha know!”

“Ye-dishk’na ga… ulp, I meant, lovely…”

A diner stands and eviscerates the unfortunate. Yellow blood spurts…

… for this “restaurant” lies on a distant planet, a training ground for the infiltration of Earth. A century in preparation. Mistakes will not be tolerated!

They rise, adjust their cravats, top hats and monocles… they appear to be a century out of date! After all that preparation…

When they get to Earth they’ll look like a right load of dozy pillocks.

What a complete bollocks-up.

Invasion… cancelled.

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Jan Wayne Fields.

I don’t know if you remember my completely fictional characters Rocheel and Dail and their Disappointing Day Out? Well, they’re back and joined by the equally fictional “Jon”! This week they’ve decided to go camping in the back garden…

To read the other stories, click on the froggy.

Copyright Jan Wayne Fields

“Aargh! Dail! Help!”

“What are you doing, Rocheel? Is that you under the tent?”

“It fell on me.”

“The instructions clearly say ‘insert section iii of pole B into flange A of tent flap 3, while gently tugging guide rope 7c’.”

“CLEARLY?”

“Fair enough. So, the barbecue…. hmm, nothing’s happening, maybe a bit more lighter fluid…”

WHOOMP!

“Aargh, my eyebrows, my eyebrows are gone, gone forever!”

“Well, Dail, who are we gong to blame for this debacle?”

As one, they turned to look toward the house…

“Good idea. Jon, oh Jon, could you come out here a moment please…?”

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Randy Mazie.

This is a photo from December 2013 and I actually remembered it! I was going to just repost that story, but I wrote a new one so here’s a link to the old one instead. As a sort of drali-bonus. You’re welcome.

For all the stories, click on the froggy.

Copyright Randy Mazie

“No, we shouldn’t go in there!” Jeff was adamant.

“Ha, come on. ‘NO TRESSRASSING’? What does that even mean?!”

“It’s obvious. Come on, let’s go.”

“Chicken!” laughed Mike, already working at the boards on one of the windows. It creaked and splintered. “Last one in’s a rotten egg!”

Jeff peered through the window as Mike cavorted around the abandoned building.

“NO TRESPASSING!” boomed a voice. An axe swung. At first Jeff thought it had missed, then, almost in slow-motion, Mike’s head rolled from his body.

Jeff ran.

Just because you can’t spell, doesn’t mean you’re not a psychotic axe-wielding maniac.

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Ted Strutz.

For the other stories, click on the little stylised froggy.

Copyright Ted Strutz

“Did it go okay?”

“What?”

“The bomb. Planting the bomb in the seaplane.”

“What? This bomb?”

“I told you. To plant the bomb. In the PLANE!”

“Oops.”

“So. The Jackal’s drug shipment gets away from us again. Get out of my sight, you MORON!”

Agent Johnson walked away, full of insincere apologies. He disliked playing the incompetent fool, but he lived in a huge house, his kids were in expensive schools, his wife dripped diamonds.

The Jackal was very generous to those willing to go that extra mile. This should be worth at least a new swimming pool…

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Sandra Crook.

Click on the froggy for all the stories.

Copyright Sandra Crook

“It’ll be amazing, my love! We shall live as in Steam Age times! We shall eschew modern technology and replicate a simpler time!”

… Christ… “I don’t know. I rather like my home digital assistant…” … last week it was ‘open a meditation retreat’…

“Steam trains, washing in the stream, clean air, making our own entertainment…”

The train went past. They began to hack and cough, smoke filling their lungs.

“As I was saying, my love… dirty transport, bubonic plague, no antibiotics, filthy smoky air, boring evenings with no Netflix… we should respect the status quo…”

“I think that would be best, dear.” … idiot…