Broken World

December 26, 2013 52 comments

Hello one and all – I hope you all had a wonderful holiday time! However, the holidays can’t hold back Friday Fictioneers which, as always, is hosted by Rochelle. Today’s striking photo was supplied by fellow Fictioneerer Douglas M MacIlroy.

If you would like to join in, click above for Rochelle’s site. You can also view all the entries (updated during the week) here.

eiffel-tower-dmm

Copyright Douglas M. MacIlroy

The high-intensity beams shone out like the eyes of some fantastical creature. The tower’s atomic cells had powered the lights for centuries, as they would for centuries more.

The beams cast eerie shadows across the endless miles of desolation, legacy of the mismanagement of the latter decades of the twenty-first century. The light glinted off rivers running thick with toxins, flowing through empty miles dotted with the petrified remains of vegetation. The sun’s rays, no longer attenuated by ozone, had bleached the skeletons white.

Above it all the tower stood guardian over a poisoned world, mute testimony to the folly of Man.

Happy Holidays!

December 24, 2013 27 comments

It’s nearly Christmas! Woohoo!

I’ve switched on the snow on my blog, so it must be nearly here.

Join with me, if you will, in appreciating the most awesome Christmas rhyme of all time…

“‘Twas the night before Christmas,
and all through the house,
not a creature was stirring,
except… the four assholes coming in the rear in standard two-by-two cover formation.”

…taken from the most awesome Christmas film of all time!

Die Hard

Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho.

Well, it’s set at Christmas time anyway. So tuck yourself up on the sofa with drinks and snacks and enjoy an evening of mayhem with Bruce!

Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays to everyone 🙂

Christmas2013

[Copyright note: Die Hard theatrical poster taken from Wikipedia, in which it strongly implies “fair use” when using the whole image to describe the film (copyright is believed to belong to the distributor of the film, the publisher of the film or the graphic artist).]

Unexpected but Welcome!

December 22, 2013 10 comments

This is a little round-up of award nominations I have recently received. I’m also using it as a shameless plug for a bunch of my posts, so let’s dive straight in!

First off, fun with the Blog of the Year Award 2013 (my original post on this along with all the rules, my nominations and all the rest is here). The lovely and talented gentlestitches awarded me a star! I’m pretty sure I got another one along the way as well (!) so that makes a total of 3 stars (if anyone apart from Mer and gentlestitches can remember giving me a star, let me know and I’ll grovel a lot and update this post)!

Blog of the Year Award 3 star

Three star blogger!

Then, can you believe this, doggy’s style awarded me the Black Hole award, and one of my stars fell in (boo)!

Read more…

Categories: My Life Musings Tags:

Dry Clean Only

December 18, 2013 68 comments

It’s Friday Fictioneers time again, this being Wednesday and all! Hosted by Rochelle, near on 100 people have a go at writing 100 words in response to a photo which this week has been supplied by Jean L Hays.

Entries are added all through the week – check here to view the other entries.

I’ve gone for a bit of silly dialogue this week 🙂 .

dolphin_01

Copyright Jean L. Hays

“Wow, that’s amazing! The colours are so vivid. It’s like being there!”

“What’s that?”

“Your hanging glass decoration thing. With the dolphin. It’s like being there! Wait, where’d the dolphin go?”

“Oh, that. That’s not a picture, it’s a portal. I expect the dolphin swam off.”

“For real? A portal? Wow, is there nothing they can’t do nowadays?”

“It’s actually quite old, as a matter of fact.”

“Cool. I’m gonna stick my hand through. I can feel the sea!”

“Watch out for the…”

“Aaargh!”

“…sharks.”

“Aaargh!”

“Hey, point your arm stump some place else. This suit is dry clean only!”

Saved by the Subconscious

December 17, 2013 20 comments

I, like most, have had my fair share of road problems. Little accidents, near misses, breaking down, driving over bits of wood in the carriageway and so on. Hell, last year I nearly drove over Bambi!

Yesterday’s incident, however, was quite weird. I mean, you see this sort of thing happening on the TV, but…

There I was, driving down the A30 dual carriageway at 75mph 70mph on my way home from work. Traffic was extremely light. Not far from my slip-road (very close to where I nearly squashed Bambi, funnily enough) I saw a van up ahead and decided to pull in behind it rather than shoot around it.

It was only going at 50mph so obviously I was pretty annoyed (I started to wish I’d just overtaken), but impatient as I was, I kept a decent distance behind. This turned out to be a good thing.

Read more…

Happy Messages

December 15, 2013 18 comments

Last week was a strange week. The week before last I realised I had a load of holiday backed up, and very little time in which to take it! So I booked Monday to Thursday off last week. Usually I have weeks to work myself up to a holiday, but this came upon me rather suddenly.

On Monday, I was ill! This was most disagreeable. This is the first time I’ve had anything worse than a cold since early 2003 (when I had pneumonia), so it came as a bit of a surprise. I’d forgotten how rubbish it feels to be unwell. Even the pneumonia was no big deal – no pain, no discomfort, just a bit breathless. A couple of days in hospital and that was that.

This time I actually threw up! The first time in over eleven years. Yuck 😦 . I can’t even remember when I was ill before that – either all the vodka masked the symptoms or it sent all the bugs and viruses running for the hills.

Nasty Vodka

Run, little diseases, run!

Read more…

A New Life

December 11, 2013 48 comments

It’s Friday Fictioneers time again! As always it is hosted by Rochelle and this week’s 100 word photo prompt has been provided by fellow Fictioneerer Adam Ickes.

You can see other entries here – more are added every day, or have a go yourself – it’s fun!

That looks to me like a Native American in the background – if it isn’t, it is for this story!

adamickes-childsboots

Copyright Adam Ickes

They’d broken away from their tribes, eschewing modern technology. They wanted to recapture the lives of their ancestors. Over a hundred had gathered in a remote valley to live according to the ways of a long-gone age, following a history gleaned more from John Wayne movies than from textbooks.

From time to time backpackers wandered into their valley. Waste not, want not. Why just take a scalp when the entire body is covered with good, useful skin?

Of course in this modern age they needed money, so they sold their products in town. Their best-seller?

Hiking boots, 100% quality leather.

The Beast Within

December 4, 2013 57 comments

It’s Friday Fictioneers day again! Under the watchful eye of our host Rochelle, we write 100 words in response to a photo prompt which this week has been supplied by Randy Mazie.

You can read the other entries here – the list grows all week so check back!

I hope no-one minds, but I altered the spelling of the “writing on the wall” within the story :-).

trespass_randy_mazie-1

Copyright Randy Mazie

The building had stood empty for many years, long enough that the tree had grown from a mere promise to near full height. Every so often, questing shoots would slide between the boards on the window. Within seconds they withered, blackened and died.

“NO TRESPASSING.”

No human hand had penned those words.

Samuel was cold and hungry. He couldn’t face another night on the streets and the building looked perfect. He carefully pried one of the boards from the window and slipped inside.

The board snapped back, muffling his last agonised scream.

The beast within tolerated no intrusion.

No trespassing.

Categories: Fiction Tags:

Who Put the Black in Black Friday?

December 1, 2013 42 comments

That title sounds like the start of a silly song.

“Who put the ‘Black’ in Black Friday?
Grab stuff before it’s all gone. (dum dum dum dum dum)
Don’t be a snivelling cry-baby,
Crash through the queues and be strong!”

The first I really heard about Black Friday was a couple of years ago via Amazon UK’s Black Friday deals. For a while that’s all we had, but this year one of the “Big Four” supermarkets decided to bring Black Friday to the UK! Yes, it has made its way across “The Pond” and reached our happy shore.

Read more…

Bitter Boat

November 29, 2013 32 comments

It’s time for Friday Fictioneers, and this time I’m well stumped. My muse has gone on holiday, I think. Never mind, I’m not missing one so I’ve popped together the story below.

Thanks as always to our host Rochelle, and to Ted Strutz for supplying the photo. Other entries for this week can be found here.

copyright-ted-strutz

Copyright Ted Strutz

Ah, to be a cruise ship! The majestic lines. A power station turning huge propellers to slice with ease through the dark waters of the Atlantic, the Pacific, to distant and exotic destinations. The pride of the fleet!

It could have been me.

It SHOULD have been me!

Ding ding, all aboard for the harbour tour! All aboard!

Harbour tours. Pah! How could the Great Builder (may He be exhalted) install my consciousness in this tiny, flat-bottomed scow? How has it come to this?

I think today I will end this. Sink myself. All hands lost.

Goodbye, cruel world.