draliman on life

Here is my post for Melanie’s special Squirrel Edition of Share Your World. The questions this week come from some of the critters living on Evil Squirrel’s Shelf.

When you just need to forget the world for a few hours, what helps you get away from it all? (Fuzzywig the stoner raccoon)
Having a nice nap. With no help required from Fuzzywig’s 4:20 stash.

If you woke up tomorrow with a unicorn horn extending from the top of your head, what would be the biggest advantage and disadvantage of your new appendage? (Mitzi the horny unicorn)
Stab people, I expect! That’s what unicorn horns are for. Mitzi doesn’t use hers right.

I stab all night and I stab all day
I gouge and I rip, it’s the unicorn way
Those who insult with every breath
I’ll stab and gouge the shits to death

What is the creepiest thing you’ve ever seen someone do, that you’d be willing to talk about, of course? (Snuggle the kinky pervert bear)
Sorry, Snuggle. I know what you’re up to with this question. Trying to get some ideas, huh? I’m onto your little game.

What’s the silliest or pettiest thing that tends to really upset you? (Rainy, the wickedly obsessive rain-loving skunk)
Everything! If people don’t do things my way, they’re doing things the wrong way!

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Restrictions are being lifted all over the world. Do you feel it’s safe to go out and mingle in crowds in light of the Pandemic?
Well, depends what you mean by “safe”. It’s always less safe to mingle in crowds, there’s always something going around, even other potentially fatal viruses (like flu).

I just checked the stats – 90% of adults in the UK have had one dose of vaccine, 76% have had both. And although most restrictions have now been lifted, most people are still wearing masks inside shops etc (most shops are “strongly requesting” it), so it’s as safe as it can be I guess.

What are some things that are okay to do occasionally, but definitely not okay to do every day?
All the best things to do, obviously. Like eating chocolate and ice cream and cakes and whatnot. Burger and chips, fish and chips, pizza…

Would you relocate for love (romantic or otherwise)?
I seriously doubt it. You shift your entire life around and then you break up and you’ve got nothing.

(he said cynically…)

Do you believe in any conspiracy theories (no judgment)?
No, because if I believed in one, in my own mind it would be “fact”, not a theory. Heh heh.

Some people would laugh at some of the things I believe in. More fool them. Anyone who doesn’t believe in the Worldwide Cat Cabal is going to be very surprised when the furry little hellions finally make their move towards world domination.

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

If you could be anywhere else right now, where would it be?
In my secret volcano lair on a faraway tropical island. I couldn’t get an extinct one, all the Bond villains had snapped them up, but I’m sure it won’t erupt. At least it doesn’t need extra heating.

What Wastes The Most Time In Your Day To Day Life?
Time? Waste? Nothing I do is a waste of time. Binge-watching Supergirl on NowTV is educational.

How would you describe your greatest enemy? If you don’t have one, share your secret! 🙂
The secret to not having a greatest enemy is to do what I did. You sit in your volcano lair (hoping it won’t suddenly erupt) and organise your minions to “take care” of them.

If you were a bird, what kind of bird would you be?
A bird? A bird? I don’t want to be a bird 😮 But if I had to be a bird I’d be one of those which glides on the thermals. Because I’m pretty lazy and I can’t be having with all that constant flapping.

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Do you believe in second chances?
In general, yes, but not for for everyone. Just imagine…

Okay, Mr Hitler, you’ve been quite naughty but everyone deserves a second chance so here’s Germany back. But if you invade Poland again, we’re going to be pretty annoyed with you.

Is your glass half full or half empty?
It starts off full, gets emptier over time and then fills up again. Such is life!

Would you rather someone be honest and hurt your feelings or lie to protect them?
Lie to me every time! Who wants to know everything everyone else thinks of them? White lies rock. There are times to lie and times to tell the truth, and the time to tell the truth is definitely not when you’re asked a question like “does my bum look big in this?”

When have you felt your biggest adrenaline rush?
That time I sneaked into an arms bazaar, located some nasty weapons, called in an air strike and then escaped in a jet plane while being shot at from all sides.

Wait a mo. That wasn’t me.

It was quite the adrenaline rush watching James Bond do all that, though.

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Are justice and the law necessarily the same thing?
I’ve seen the excellent documentary “Judge Dredd” and I can say that they are definitely the same thing. The Judge turns up, proclaims your guilt and then blows your head off.

Which kitchen appliance do you use every day?
The kettle I reckon, whether for hot drinks or for getting a head start on potato boiling.

What is one thing you’ll never do again?
I’m perfectly capable of doing everything again, as I consistently fail to learn by my mistakes.

What event escalated very quickly?
Apart from the obvious ongoing situation, you mean? Which escalated extremely quickly and now lingers on and on and on…

Nothing else I can think of.