draliman on life

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Had any good conversations with yourself lately? Did you listen to yourself? And how’d that work out for you?
I always have conversations with myself. And I always listen. If I’m not going to listen to myself (for better or worse), who am I going to listen to?

What is gravity and how does it work?
Gravity is a big sucking thing. At the centre of the Earth there’s a huge gravity wave generator, or “vacuum cleaner” to the layman, which constantly spins round and round sucking stuff down. We can only hope the bag never gets full or everyone will float off into space!

What is more real – Mind or Matter?
Is either real? Is this just a dream? Are you all figments of my imagination, or am I a figment of yours?

Dum dum dummmmm.

Should a vegetarian (or vegan) eat animal crackers?
I know this is a fun question, and just for fun I looked up the ingredients of “original” animal crackers. And I found this rather terrifying statement:

“Are animal crackers vegan? While Nabisco’s recipe is free of animal ingredients, Cole & Stewart’s sociological analysis would suggest that consuming animal crackers is ritualistically anti-vegan, as it socializes speciesist sentiments and human supremacy in children.”

Bloody hell. They’re only biscuits. I didn’t realise they were turning the world’s children into supremacist monsters.

What other popular foodstuffs are corrupting the minds of our children? Let me know in the comments!

Name (describe) something you wouldn’t want to run into in a dark and deserted wood or alley.
You’ve been avoiding him for months. Avoiding all the usual places. Then one day you forget. You get careless. You take a shortcut home. In a flash of lightning you see him. Darkness returns. Was he really there? Did you imagine him? Lightning flares again. He’s closer.

Much closer.

He opens his mouth, salivating in anticipation. He speaks.

“You thought you could avoid me? None can avoid me.”

He is the End. The Omega. The nightmare become real.

He is the Tax Collector.

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Why do we have such trouble telling our loved ones that we love them? Do you have that kind of communication issue with your loved ones?
Dunno. As for me, it’s ‘cos I’m such a hardass.

Decorations for holidays? Spirit lifters or pain in the butt? Or a mix?
A pain in the butt to put up. But a spirit lifter once they’re up! Except for these people who put up Christmas decorations in November. By the time Christmas actually arrives I’m fed up with seeing them – they’re no longer special fun.

Do you donate to charities? Of your time, do you feel money is the only true gift, or other?
I have direct debits for a couple of charities. I expect time would be a better gift, but not my time as I’d be rubbish at it.

Are you too superstitious or have you ever played with a Ouija Board?
I’m not really superstitious though I admit I do ask after a magpie’s family whenever I see one 🙂

As for Ouija boards, you go for it Hasbro (formerly Parker Brothers)! A relatively recent parlour game (fun for all the family) somehow become some sort of mystical link to the “other side”. I prefer my mystical items to be older than a hundred-odd years…

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World. I’m going for the sci-fi logo this week.

Social media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat) a good thing, a bad thing or a mixture of both?
It’s simply the most amazing thing, all that instant information, keeping up with friends etc!

It’s the work of the devil, so much false information, never talking to friends in person etc!

It depends on how you use it.

Are you camera shy or do you pose for the camera with confidence?
I never react when it looks like I’m going to be in a photo so I don’t look stupid grimacing with my hands up or something. I just very casually drift away out of shot. See that indistinct blur at the edge of all the family photos? That’s me, that is.

Is there anything you’ve kept from younger years for sentimental reasons alone?
One or two things. One is “Cuddly Bear”, a little wooden bear which belonged to my Mum when she was little and she gave him to me when I was little. He’s a little the worse for wear after all these decades.

Cuddly Bear – my childhood friend

Do you like to decorate for different holidays?
Well, there’s only Christmas which requires any decorating. I need to be in the right frame of mind before putting up a tiny tree and an ornament or two. Most of the time I can’t be bothered but at some point in the run up to Christmas I’ll be all in the “Christmas spirit” and then up goes the tree.

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

If confronted with a violent crime against a single individual in progress (severe beating, rape, assault) do you try to do something about it (phone authorities or confront the criminal, stop the crime) or do you figure it’s none of your business and walk or drive on by? Worse (to me) would you record the crime for social media use without doing anything else?
I would leap into action, using my secret ninja skills to incapacitate the attacker and render them helpless, give an enigmatic smile to the victim and disappear into the night, the unknown warrior, seeking neither reward nor recognition, fighting only for truth and justice.

In reality… no-one really knows how they’ll react in such a situation. I’m not a fighter so hopefully I’d hide round a corner, call the police and then try to video it on my phone for evidence for the police. Maybe I would yell out to try to scare the attacker away, but I’d probably be too scared.

I liked my first answer better.

If someone asked to be your apprentice and learn all that you know, what would you teach them?
First I would need to assess that person’s suitability. Are they up to the task? Do they have what it takes? If I decide to take them on, I would teach them all about the dark side of the Force.

I need to find someone soon. It’s very hard to rule the galaxy with an iron fist on your own.

First think of a product. Now, what would be the absolute worst brand name for one of those products?
How about a real product? KIA cars. “Killed In Action.” Not something I want written on my car.

I would like to propose “Chocopoo”. It’s a chocolate bar shaped like a poo. It’s designed to gross people out. Plus, it’s tasty and delicious!

What ridiculous and untrue, yet slightly plausible, theories can you come up with for the cause of common ailments like headaches or cavities?
All that sort of stuff is caused by the low-level control wave used by The Few – the secret council which rules the world from the shadows. Though largely undetectable, it can cause minor ailments in a few susceptible individuals. And occasionally make their brains explode. But that’s quite rare.

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

When was the last time you face palmed?
I’m not sure I ever have. Do real people actually do that? I assumed it was an over-dramatic gesture for the theatre and suchlike. I do the occasional eye roll though.

When is censorship warranted? Ever?
Uh-oh, this sounds like one of those potentially contentious issues mentioned last week that I said I’d never discuss. But I’ll give it a go.

Yes, definitely. Or not. Never censor. Maybe. Yes in some circumstances, or never at all. YesNo.

I hope that’s cleared it up for you.

If there were commandments for the modern day world, what should (could, would) some of them be? Get creative!
And I say to thee, yea verily, thou shalt not… oh, who am I kidding, no-one’s going to read these in this modern hustle-bustle world. Maybe I’ll make a fun app and display one of my new commandments every so often. In between levels or something.

Thou shalt not continue playing this app, and instead shalt thee get out in ye sunshine.

What did you Google last?
How to get the “Black Hand Prototype Weaponised Wingsuit” in Just Cause 4. I’ve destroyed nearly everything in Just Cause 3 now so it will soon be time to start 4 🙂