MFTS – The Origin of Hell on Earth

August 31, 2015 15 comments

Here’s my story for Barbara Beacham’s Mondays Finish the Story. It’s slightly over the word count but I’ve already chopped out 40 words!

The supplied sentence is in bold in my story, and you can see all the other contributions by clicking on the blue froggy.

Copyright B.W. Beacham

Copyright B.W. Beacham

 

The cemetery spread along the area known as Devils Abode.

However, the Devil was away on business and the minions were having a party! There was jelly and ice cream, little sausages on sticks and, of course, unspeakable torments.

All the best demons had turned up. All the worst demons too. Chamblezook, Defiler of Small Animals, had accidentally marked the invite “public” on FaceScroll.

Chamblezook watched in horror as the demons… “tore up the joint”, he believed was the “in” term. He gasped as he looked out the window to see Grigglebarg, Corrupter of Kitty-Cats, taking a leak on the Master’s prize-winning geraniums.

Then he heard a voice. “He’s mine, she’s mine, missed him…” The Master was coming, reading the graveyard headstones. He would not be pleased.

He was not pleased. In his rage the Master created Hell on Earth. He later admitted he may have gone too far, but billions of humans would now be subjected to the worst torment ever devised.

And thus the Reality Show was born.

 

Sharing My World 2015 Week 34

August 30, 2015 30 comments

Week 34 already. Where has the year gone?

Thanks as always to Cee for hosting this challenge, on top of all the photography challenges she hosts as well!

share-your-world2

Was school easy or difficult for you? How so?
Yes. Both. The work was okay, I usually got good marks. But the whole school thing. Yuck!

Who was it who said school is “the happiest days of your life”? Or did that saying just pop up out of nowhere? It’s a big fat lie, anyway.

As an adult, with bills and responsibilities and all the rest, at least you’re in control of the big mess you’re making of it :-).

What is your favourite animal?
To have as a pet, it would be a cat. As for animals in general, I like cute. Koala Bears are cute. Even if they’re lying about being bears.

Here’s a picture of a raccoon I bought from Goldfish’s online store. Goldfish can make anything look cute in her pictures.

raccoon-pic

How cute is that?

If you had to have your vision corrected would you rather: glasses or contacts?
I’ve worn glasses since I was around 10, and have to wear them all the time.

I did spend a few years wearing contacts while I was at university. However, back then due to my astigmatism I couldn’t have soft lenses, I had to have “semi-hard gas permeable”. They were pretty uncomfortable, and I had a real problem falling asleep in lectures back then. You don’t want to fall asleep with contacts in. Nasty.

List:  Name at least five television shows (past or present) you enjoyed?
Oh boy. I could go on forever. I guess I’ll just name some that I’m enjoying at the moment, or have enjoyed recently (which doesn’t necessarily make it recent!).

  • The Good Wife
  • Dr Who (obviously)
  • Grimm
  • Stargate SG1/Atlantis
  • Blake’s 7
  • Red Dwarf
  • Blackadder
  • From Dusk Till Dawn (the Netflix spin-off) – darker and more gory than the film – series 2 out now!
  • Bones
  • Lost Girl
  • Grey’s Anatomy (anything medical actually – ER, Casualty, Holby City…)

 

Categories: About draliman Tags:

Friday Fictioneers – Poorly Thought Out

August 26, 2015 58 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle at Addicted to Purple. This week’s photo was contributed by Claire Fuller.

To read this week’s other stories, click on the blue froggy.

Copyright Claire Fuller

Copyright Claire Fuller

 

“So what’s this you’re demonstrating, then?”

“Well, you know how the little bastar… darlings from Class 7B are always tipping the lockers over?”

“Yeeesssss…”

“I’ve retro-fitted them with special bars that automatically slam down to steady them the moment any tipping movement is detected.”

“Riigghttt… one problem I can see…”

“I’ll give them a shove and you’ll see it in action.”

“…is that there’s a busy corridor right behind…”

Shove.

Creak.

Clunk.

SPLAT!

“Yay! The anti-tipping mechanism deployed beautifully.”

“On top of Class 5C.”

“Some sort of pre-deployment alarm system, perhaps?”

“Go away now, please. Somebody call an ambulance!

 

MFTS – Chad and Brad Go Vamp

August 24, 2015 44 comments

Here is my contribution to Barbara Beacham’s Mondays Finish the Story. Today we find out what Chad and Brad, our favourite stoners, have been up to since last we saw them.

The supplied opening sentence is in bold in my story, and this week’s other stories can be found by clicking on the blue froggy.

Copyright B.W. Beacham

Copyright B.W. Beacham

 

The family had no idea that little Luigi would grow up to be… prematurely dead.

Neither did Chad and Brad when they visited their old friend hoping to score some weed. Everyone knew Luigi had the best in town.

While waiting for Luigi to fetch his stash, Brad stumbled across an old photograph.

“Dude!” said Brad. “Come look! It’s little Luigi!”

“Digging the cool retro costumes, Luigi,” said Chad, puffing on his spliff. “When was this taken?”

Luigi’s face turned dark. “1874,” he said. “Now my secret is out and you both must join me… in death. Bwahahahaha!” Luigi’s fangs extended and he attacked.

“Not again,” grumbled Brad, taking an extended puff of annoyance. “Ghosts, vampires…”

“Dude!” exclaimed Chad as Luigi leapt straight into the lit end of his joint.

As everyone knows, vampires and flames don’t mix. Luigi burst into flames.

“Oh man!” said Chad. “I torched Luigi! Sorry, dude.”

Luigi screamed and exploded.

“Not cool,” said Brad, wiping Luigi-ashes off his coat. “Come on, let’s find his stash. Finders keepers!”

“Dude.”

 

Sharing My World 2015 Week 33

August 23, 2015 27 comments

Here is my Share Your World, hosted as always by Cee at her wonderful photography blog.

share-your-world2

What are some words that just make you smile?
“Asshat” and “douche-canoe” (not technically actual words). Thanks, Merby! Kerfuffle (according to Chrome, also not actually a word). Evidently, words which are not words make me smile :-).

You’re given $500,000 dollars tax free (any currency), what do you spend it on?
Me! Mortgage and miscellaneous debts. Pay off my car. Then save for my retirement. I might even buy friends and family a present. Like a chocolate bar or something. If I’m feeling particularly generous I might even buy them a bottle of wine! One bottle between them.

What subject would you like to study in depth, if given the time to do so?
I don’t fancy the idea of studying anything to be honest. Maybe the Jedi path. As long as the study pack comes with a light sabre so I can decapitate muggers.

Would your rather be stuck in a small plane with bad turbulence for 2 hours or be a passenger in a car racing the Daytona 500?
No.

Categories: About draliman Tags:

Literary Lion – Stained Red

August 22, 2015 28 comments

Here is my story for Laura’s Literary Lion prompt. Mr Lion has spoken and this week’s prompt word is “flower“. I’ve left all attempts at humour behind for a slightly grittier attempt for this week’s story.

 

FlowersBW

 

Ring-a-ring o’ roses,
A pocket full of posies,
A-tishoo! A-tishoo!

We all fall down.

The words of the old nursery rhyme run through Dravid’s head as he looks around. Apt, he thinks, but the Black Death had nothing on this.

Here a woman stumbles past, sobbing, clutching the remains of her baby close to her. There a child stares blankly, a numb look on his face as blood-tinged tears trickle down his cheeks.

Once upon a time there were “rules of war”. You can do this, but not that. Kill this person but not that one. Not anymore. Rules? In war? War is all about winning. About killing, and killing, and killing, until there’s no one left to kill. That’s how you know you’ve won. And so finally both sides unleashed the stores of chemical weapons they never admitted to having.

Delivery was always the trick, thinks Dravid as he muses on this. Too easy to shoot down missiles, planes. He drops his backpack by the side of the road, the empty chemical bomb rolling out into the dirt, its contents already unleashed. He’s done his bit. Time now to rest. Lowering himself to the ground, his fingernails already rimmed with red, he knows that his end is near, past overdue in fact. He plucks a perfect white rose, marvelling at how selective the chemical is, leaving plants and animals untouched. Something to do with DNA, he understands.

The chemical, his chemical courses through his body, and his last sight as his insides liquefy is his blood, staining the rose red. Such a beautiful shade of red.

 

Categories: Fiction Tags: ,

Friday Fictioneers – Bad Things Come in Threes…?

August 20, 2015 50 comments

Here is my rather rushed story for this week’s Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle and with a photo supplied this week by C. E Ayr. Click on the blue froggy for this week’s other stories!

I hate to publish and run, but I’m off to my book club. It’s my turn to bring the biscuits!

Copyright C. E. Ayr

Copyright C. E. Ayr

 

“What’s that picture, Grandpa?”

“Whales, in the sea. That’s to remind us of the days before the particle accelerator accident, when 90% of our seawater drained through to another dimension.”

“Oh. Is that what caused the ruined buildings?”

“No. That was the creatures from the other dimension attacking us because we almost drowned them all.”

“Oh. So why do we still have seas?”

“That was some helpful aliens who delivered water and accidentally drowned 95% of the survivors. But they say bad things come in threes, so we’re safe now.”

“Yay!”

“I’m sure the massive comet currently hurtling towards us will miss.”

“Um. Yay?”

 

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