Home > Fiction > More Haste…

More Haste…

I have completed my house move! Well, I have yet to re-assemble my bed, and I can barely move for boxes, but still… I missed last week’s Friday Fictioneers but I now have my internet connected. Fibre at last! Call me Mr Speedy.

So without further ado, here is my submission, written to a photo submitted by Fictioneerer Sandra Crook. As always, Rochelle is hosting the whole shebang, so be sure to check out her website, and you can also read the other submissions here.

hay-bales-sandra-c

Copyright Sandra Crook

I don’t believe it. Another tractor! Can’t these farmers move their straw in the middle of the night or something? What’s he doing? Fifteen miles per hour? Ridiculous. What about my dinner?

Ah, I think I can slip past… no! That was close. Damn cars coming at me. Maybe in a minute, I think there’s a straight bit. Here we go… oops. Dammit! More traffic. I can’t believe this. Pull over, moron! I’ve had enough of this. I’m going past. There’s never anything on this stretch. Foot down, yes! No! NO!


Jim Preston. Loving husband. Father of three.

Idiot.

Dead.

  1. February 28, 2014 at 8:32 pm

    That’s what we call “a traffic jam” in the country 🙂

    Like

    • February 28, 2014 at 8:37 pm

      Yup. And it doesn’t get any more rural than Cornwall. It’s like the entire county is one big tractor-fest!
      Um – by “traffic jam” were you referring to him being the jam…? 🙂

      Like

  2. February 28, 2014 at 8:39 pm

    Oh, what a sad end. I guess you can’t chance it with a tractor. That’s life in the country.

    Like

    • February 28, 2014 at 8:45 pm

      I hate driving behind tractors. And we have a lot of tractors.

      Like

  3. NotAPunkRocker
    February 28, 2014 at 8:40 pm

    Oh, how I missed you!

    And I love that you have your priorities in order. Bed? Eh. Internet? Yes!

    Like

    • February 28, 2014 at 8:47 pm

      Thanks, it’s nice to be missed 🙂
      I had my TV, Blu-ray player, surround sound system and DVR connected within an hour of moving in. Then I thought “stuff the rest of it”, lay down on the couch and started watching Stargate Atlantis DVDs 🙂
      Maybe I’ll reassemble my bed this weekend. I’m getting a bit too old for sleeping on a two-seater couch.

      Like

  4. Laura
    February 28, 2014 at 8:44 pm

    I love it. Give me the country life any day. 🙂

    Like

    • February 28, 2014 at 8:51 pm

      Same here. Cornwall (the county I live in) is almost all countryside anyway, but I’ve just moved into a tiny village. The only sound you can hear is the birds tweeting. Lovely!
      It didn’t work out so well for my impatient protagonist, however 🙂

      Like

  5. February 28, 2014 at 8:47 pm

    Oh no, he missed dinner. That would had ticked me off, I like my food.

    Like

    • February 28, 2014 at 8:51 pm

      I hate missing my dinner too. I don’t suppose my protagonist cares any more, mind.

      Like

  6. February 28, 2014 at 8:49 pm

    Ouch…lol.

    Like

  7. February 28, 2014 at 9:01 pm

    Funny, darling — (not ha ha funny) this was a recurring theme this week — getting caught behind a slow moving tractor. Jen over at elmowrites wrote a really good piece. I liked the newspaper clipping quality of your piece.

    Like

    • February 28, 2014 at 9:50 pm

      I thought it might be – I had ideas for a few stories but the ending for this one hit me straight away so I went with it. As usual I made sure not to read any of the other stories before writing mine! I’ll get to them tomorrow (in between unpacking and whatnot – I have no clothes left which are not in boxes somewhere!).

      Like

  8. February 28, 2014 at 9:05 pm

    Yes, there’s nothing like driving in France. Roads built in medieval times. Two way traffic on one way streets. Some of the strangest traffic laws in the world, and no one obeys them anyway. Spent two weeks there once, and made it out alive (and only 1,500 Euros damage to the rental 8^).

    Like

    • February 28, 2014 at 9:52 pm

      I’ve heard about driving in France and I don’t fancy it much! I drive along a few narrow roads to work with high hedges on both sides (typical of Cornwall) which makes it feel even narrower. If you get stuck behind a tractor on one of those you can be there a while!

      Like

  9. February 28, 2014 at 10:07 pm

    A little patience never killed anyone….

    Like

    • March 1, 2014 at 5:41 am

      Impatience, on the other hand…

      Like

      • March 4, 2014 at 9:15 pm

        Probably killed a lot more people. Or at least caused a lot more trouble. I’ve never heard of anyone getting in trouble for being too patient.

        Like

      • March 5, 2014 at 7:22 am

        Slow and steady wins the race, as they say.

        Like

  10. February 28, 2014 at 10:23 pm

    Great presentation of the piece.

    Like

  11. ernestortizwritesnow001
    February 28, 2014 at 11:34 pm

    Great pic. Sometimes I see stacks of haystacks on top of trucks on the freeway. Imagine having some of that hay hitting your windshield.

    Like

    • March 1, 2014 at 5:42 am

      I see that too – it always looks so precarious! And hay bales are surprisingly heavy.

      Like

  12. Lyn
    February 28, 2014 at 11:48 pm

    You’ve caught the scene well, D-Man – as usual. So sad; another temporary citizen. All our local roads are 50kph It doesn’t stop idiots overtaking you at 70kph though and there’s never any flashing lights around. After moving ten times in 40 years, I learnt very quickly that the first task before anything else is put the beds up. Then you can work as late as you like unpacking and collapse into bed whenever you want 🙂

    Like

    • March 1, 2014 at 5:44 am

      I see the same thing. How fast you can go seems more important than how fast you’re allowed to go.

      Problem is, to make the bed I need to clear a space. I need to get my clothes out of boxes and into the wardrobe, out of the way. Which means I need to reassemble the wardrobe. Which is propped up in pieces behind the bed. You see my dilemma? 🙂

      Like

  13. February 28, 2014 at 11:55 pm

    Wow what a loving family to call him an idiot in the obituary 🙂 congrats on the move

    Like

    • March 1, 2014 at 5:45 am

      I think maybe they were a little pissed off with him 🙂
      Thanks!

      Like

  14. March 1, 2014 at 7:26 am

    Yes that is what happens! Seen it nearly happen a few times.

    Like

  15. March 1, 2014 at 9:03 am

    Oh,have seen many such idiots-fortunately(or unfortunately) they survived!Excellent writing-you captured the nuances very well DR,-I could see the scene unfold in front of my eyes and hoped that he will manage to scrape through-but that was not be 🙂

    Like

    • March 1, 2014 at 9:08 am

      No, sadly he didn’t make it home to dinner.
      I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Like

  16. March 1, 2014 at 9:28 am

    First of all, congratulations on your move, now you can start nesting, whic is the only bit I like about moving.
    Secondly, great story, it could be about me lol. I’ve been stuck behind a few tractors & had exactly that debate going on in my head. Fortunately I’ve always managed to wait til I could see what was happening 🙂

    Like

    • March 1, 2014 at 11:45 am

      Fortunately they move quite slowly so you don’t need too much room to get past. More room than my protagonist had, however.
      I’ll start nesting once I’ve finished unpacking!

      Like

      • March 2, 2014 at 11:30 am

        Ha Ha

        Like

  17. March 1, 2014 at 9:39 am

    Good story. And all too realistic….

    Like

  18. March 1, 2014 at 10:29 am

    Oops. Jim really should have waited a bit more. But then, given the sort of impatience he exhibited there, its likely he would have met a similar end on some other road some other fine day! Loved the story 😀

    Like

    • March 1, 2014 at 11:46 am

      Yes, I think he was bound to come a cropper eventually.
      I’m glad you liked the story!

      Like

  19. March 1, 2014 at 3:37 pm

    Road rage kills. But it’s quite frustrating to get behind a slow-moving vehicle that you can’t pass. Don’t ask me how I know that, though. 🙂

    Congratulations on your new move. I had to laugh when I read “Fibre at last”, thinking of dietary fiber at first. That too will pass! Ha!

    janet

    Like

    • March 2, 2014 at 5:22 am

      Yeah, I hate getting stuck behind tractors.
      Ha, dietary fibre and “Mr Speedy” 🙂

      Like

  20. March 1, 2014 at 6:53 pm

    h, it does happen. Bloody tractors.
    Good luck with the bed. Have some flowers for the new place.

    Like

    • March 2, 2014 at 5:25 am

      Thanks. I don’t like “making” the bed, let alone actually making/assembling it!

      Like

  21. March 1, 2014 at 8:18 pm

    I’m really concerned about the last NO…was that right before BOOM

    Like

  22. March 1, 2014 at 11:28 pm

    They should give the tractors their own roads. And it would be cool to see a headstone with the word “Idiot” carved onto it….

    Like

    • March 2, 2014 at 5:30 am

      Special tractor roads would be cool! Before I moved all but the last half mile was dual carriageway, so no problem despite the number of tractors. Not any longer, unfortunately.

      Like

  23. March 2, 2014 at 1:15 am

    a good and amusing message.

    Like

    • March 2, 2014 at 5:31 am

      Thanks, and thank you for reading and commenting!

      Like

  24. March 2, 2014 at 2:11 am

    Having grown up in the country, I’m laughing at the city slicker referring to hay as straw. Obviously, that wasn’t the only thing our unfortunate protagonist didn’t know about.

    I personally think the piece would be stronger without the “explanation” at the end. JMHO.

    Cheers!
    Marie Gail

    Like

    • March 2, 2014 at 5:39 am

      Unfortunately he’s not going to have the time to learn “country ways” 😦
      Thanks for the criticism. The final bit is supposed to be an epitaph/tombstone type thing. It probably would have been better if I’d done some formatting on it (centralise, maybe a background to make it more newspaper-like).

      Like

  25. March 2, 2014 at 9:01 am

    I thought the way you handled it was quite brilliant, clever and funny.

    Like

  26. March 2, 2014 at 9:26 pm

    Dear Ali,

    I got a kick out of “Idiot” being part of his epitaph. I’ve ridden with him many times. At least his evil twin. Welcome back and I’m glad to see you have your priorities straight. 😉

    shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • March 3, 2014 at 8:15 am

      Dear Rochelle,
      I had to get my FF in! Even though I haven’t unpacked my clothes yet 🙂
      Alistair

      Like

  27. March 3, 2014 at 10:16 am

    It was so easy to see this playing out – unfortunately. Great pacing.

    Like

    • March 3, 2014 at 12:32 pm

      Yes – it had quite an inevitable conclusion. Thanks for reading!

      Like

  28. March 3, 2014 at 3:19 pm

    LOL funniest epitaph ever. good thing he’ll never get to read the inscription and know what his kids really think of him. haha 🙂

    Like

    • March 3, 2014 at 4:32 pm

      I think they were a bit peeved with him 🙂

      Like

  29. camgal
    March 4, 2014 at 12:17 am

    Wow..now that’s a story haha 🙂

    Like

  30. March 4, 2014 at 2:21 pm

    Well written with a dark humor ending. I felt that ending coming as I’ve been in a car with a driver like that. He (and I) were more fortunate than Jim.

    Like

    • March 5, 2014 at 7:19 am

      It must be very frightening to be in a car with someone who keeps taking chances like that.

      Like

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