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Clean Shot

It’s Friday Fictioneers time again hosted by Rochelle, this week featuring a photo also by Rochelle! To view the other contributions or to add your own, click on the blue froggy below.

Nothing really occurred to me this week but I’ve thrown some words together which you can find under the prompt photo.

 

balcony

Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Lying on the balcony, Jackson peered through the sights – he had a perfect view of the front of the house. Pulse quickening, he tried to remain calm as the door opened to reveal his target. He was holding a child.

Damn! But his mission parameters were clear – “acceptable collateral damage”.

He slowly, carefully began to squeeze the trigger.

“Jackson! Dinner!” yelled a voice from behind him.

Double damn! Jackson put his high-powered water rifle down and went inside.

“Tomorrow, you will be mine, oh yes,” he snarled as his target disappeared from view, blissfully unaware of the soaking he had so narrowly avoided.

  1. February 11, 2015 at 7:49 pm

    I loved this, having engaged in water-pistol battles a-plenty. Loved that it wasn’t full of blood and death.

    Like

    • February 11, 2015 at 7:57 pm

      I’m glad you liked it :-). With the exception of Monday’s story, I’ve been pretty death-free for many weeks. Water-pistol battles are fun!

      Like

  2. February 11, 2015 at 8:05 pm

    What a great twist, Ali! Hilarious once again. 😀 Well done. 🙂 — Suzanne

    Like

    • February 11, 2015 at 8:30 pm

      Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂

      Like

  3. February 11, 2015 at 8:08 pm

    An unexpected twist. Better than blood and gore.

    Like

    • February 11, 2015 at 8:32 pm

      I nearly gave in and wrote something with quite a different ending, but that would have been too obvious 🙂

      Like

  4. February 11, 2015 at 9:06 pm

    I love when your darkness breaks into sunshine, brill job 🙂

    Like

    • February 12, 2015 at 2:19 pm

      It could have gone either way 🙂 Thanks!

      Like

  5. February 11, 2015 at 11:40 pm

    If the intended target was the Wicked Witch of the West, then this still qualifies as Dralihorror!

    Like

    • February 12, 2015 at 2:20 pm

      That could have ended quite ickily!

      Like

  6. February 12, 2015 at 12:38 am

    A fun story Draliman, you made me SOL…that’s snicker-out-loud, just so you know 😉

    Like

  7. February 12, 2015 at 1:28 am

    Loved the angle that it was a child and a water pistol. This was a fun an entertaining read.

    Like

    • February 12, 2015 at 2:20 pm

      I’m glad you liked it. I thought a bit of childhood fun was in order this week!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. February 12, 2015 at 2:41 am

    i was fooled into believing it was for real. great twist at the end.

    Like

    • February 12, 2015 at 2:21 pm

      That was the idea, I’m glad it worked! Thanks.

      Like

  9. February 12, 2015 at 3:21 am

    As much fun as almost falling down the stairs… all of the adrenaline, none of the pain. 😀 Great read.

    Like

    • February 12, 2015 at 2:22 pm

      A bit of anticipation and then no-one got hurt. Glad you liked it!

      Like

  10. February 12, 2015 at 3:23 am

    Great!! I had to read it twice to understand the soaker reference.
    I am the minority in here, I love, love your blood and gore.
    Good story DrAli.

    Like

    • February 12, 2015 at 2:22 pm

      Yes, I did notice from the comments that many were happy it didn’t end in a blood bath this week!
      I’m glad you liked it anyway 🙂

      Like

  11. February 12, 2015 at 7:24 am

    Lovely story. I was truly caught up in that and the phrase ‘acceptable collateral damage’ (whilst not entirely child-like) was quite chilling. Good one.

    Like

    • February 12, 2015 at 2:24 pm

      Thanks.
      Although I didn’t actually think of the implications (from a writing point of view) of using such a grown-up phrase as that, I expect he heard it on some film he wasn’t supposed to be watching 🙂

      Like

      • February 15, 2015 at 6:45 am

        yes, for sure. kids repeat everything they hear.
        Ellespeth

        Liked by 1 person

  12. February 12, 2015 at 8:38 am

    Squeeee! Good one! ❤

    Like

  13. February 12, 2015 at 11:45 am

    I would have gone for the shot and ducked at my mother’s wrath.
    Maybe put her off by bringing my weapon to the table, challenging her to yell at me, for being a minute late. Randy

    But then again the left side of my face is flat and red from all the slaps i’ve received but that’s another FF

    Like

    • February 12, 2015 at 2:24 pm

      Sounds like you like to take risks 🙂

      Like

  14. February 12, 2015 at 1:08 pm

    I was holding my breath then!

    Like

    • February 12, 2015 at 2:25 pm

      And then you could let it out in relief when absolutely no-one died!

      Liked by 1 person

  15. February 12, 2015 at 3:47 pm

    Really refreshing story! Loved the boy’s point of view, and how he was so determined at first to even “sacrifice” a baby to achieve his mission, but when his mom yelled that the dinner was ready he just dropped it without a second thought.

    Like

    • February 12, 2015 at 7:22 pm

      That’s the fickleness of youth for you. That plus a growing boy’s healthy appetite!
      I’m glad you enjoyed my story 🙂

      Like

  16. NotAPunkRocker
    February 12, 2015 at 4:11 pm

    Then, he went in the house and used the water gun on his mother instead.

    Oh, wait. That’s what my kid would have done LOL.

    Very cute story 🙂

    Like

    • February 12, 2015 at 7:24 pm

      Hee hee! I’m sure Jackson thought about it but his stomach won out 🙂
      I’m glad you liked my story!

      Like

  17. February 12, 2015 at 4:48 pm

    Ah…so you are finally getting around to the sniper!

    DJ

    Like

    • February 12, 2015 at 7:24 pm

      Yep, but not with real bullets!

      Like

  18. February 12, 2015 at 5:45 pm

    Nice twist! It seems a few people avoided trouble that day.

    Great story 🙂

    Like

    • February 12, 2015 at 7:25 pm

      It does, it could have been nasty 🙂
      Glad you liked it!

      Like

  19. February 12, 2015 at 6:05 pm

    Oh, I’m so relieved it’s only water! Very funny story. This is a serious battle. I could totally imagine a water fight taking place here, too.

    Like

    • February 12, 2015 at 7:26 pm

      There could have been mayhem and water everywhere if only it hadn’t been dinner time 🙂

      Like

      • February 12, 2015 at 7:31 pm

        Saved by the dinner bell. 🙂

        Like

      • February 12, 2015 at 7:55 pm

        🙂

        Like

  20. February 12, 2015 at 7:39 pm

    You caught me there.. I truly feared a more sinister plot-

    Like

    • February 12, 2015 at 7:56 pm

      It could have been a violent end, but I’m sure that’s what all you guys were expecting after the build-up!

      Like

  21. February 12, 2015 at 8:06 pm

    Great twist – not what I was expecting at all!

    Like

    • February 12, 2015 at 8:55 pm

      Thanks, I was hoping to lead the reader down a different path until the end 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  22. Lyn
    February 12, 2015 at 8:42 pm

    Definitely not one of your usual endings, but it’s nice to breathe easily now and then 😀
    Good one, Dman, real good 😀

    Like

    • February 12, 2015 at 8:55 pm

      I’m glad you liked it!
      It can’t be murder and mayhem all the time 🙂

      Like

  23. February 12, 2015 at 10:27 pm

    Ah, a good soaking. So much better than a bullet.
    In your case, makes for a surprise ending. I like.

    Like

  24. February 13, 2015 at 2:55 am

    This made me smile!! I loved the twist of the good soaking. I was completely believing it was going to be a bullet! You got me!

    Like

    • February 13, 2015 at 1:46 pm

      It almost was going to be a bullet but I decided before writing that a soaking would be better.

      Liked by 1 person

      • February 13, 2015 at 4:54 pm

        It worked out great and it was a pleasant twist to the story!!

        Like

      • February 13, 2015 at 8:47 pm

        Thanks 🙂

        Like

  25. February 13, 2015 at 8:08 am

    Phew…that was a relieve, Draliman. We didn’t expect this end, but clean it was..MOL… Pawkisses for a Happy Valentine’s Weekend 🙂 ❤

    Like

  26. February 13, 2015 at 9:38 am

    No mission is more important than dinner. 🙂

    Like

    • February 13, 2015 at 1:48 pm

      Especially to a growing young lad! There’s always tomorrow for the soaking.

      Like

  27. February 13, 2015 at 10:51 am

    Dear Ali,

    What a set up! You had me literally holding my breath. Would he shoot the child? Collateral damage? Thank you for the smiles and giggles. 😀

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • February 13, 2015 at 1:51 pm

      Dear Rochelle,
      I’m glad my little set up worked! Have a nice weekend 🙂
      Ali

      Like

  28. February 13, 2015 at 11:39 am

    That really took me in; so pleased it was just play. But are the minds of these kids already warped – they certainly use the language of death.

    Like

    • February 13, 2015 at 1:51 pm

      I imagine he’s heard the terminology in a film or video game, but hopefully he’ll turn out okay.

      Like

  29. February 13, 2015 at 4:33 pm

    I love the way you build this up to infer that a real assassin is waiting to strike. The water-fight idea is great! Hilarious, as always. 🙂

    Like

    • February 13, 2015 at 8:47 pm

      I’m glad you liked the build-up! Water fights are fun 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  30. February 14, 2015 at 2:15 pm

    Adorable! I love the twist at the end. And yes, we can be very, very serious about our water gun battles.

    Like

    • February 14, 2015 at 6:22 pm

      Jackson appears to be more serious about his dinner 🙂 Glad you liked it!

      Like

  31. February 14, 2015 at 2:47 pm

    “Collateral damage” put me in a state of dread. The twist gave me relief. Good tale.

    Like

    • February 14, 2015 at 6:23 pm

      Don’t worry, there was no way I was going to shoot a kid. I’m glad you enjoyed the happy outcome!

      Like

  32. February 15, 2015 at 2:43 am

    Dear Draliman, Great story and I love that it was really water pistols! So clever and talk about summer fun – you can’t get better! Awesome job! One year, our oldest son wanted a water soaker gun for his birthday. We got water guns for everyone and went to this park that has a fort built for kids to play in (really a cool fort too!). It was a blast and warm enough to enjoy! Thanks, Nan 🙂

    Like

    • February 15, 2015 at 6:08 am

      Dear Nan, I’m glad you liked that it wasn’t a real sniper, just a bit of summer fun. That trip to the park you mention sounds great 🙂

      Like

  33. February 15, 2015 at 6:47 am

    oh now…this was very funny. always count on the call to dinner to break one’s concentration.
    Ellespeth

    Like

    • February 15, 2015 at 8:17 am

      Growing boys, always thinking with their stomachs. He can always take up position again after he’s eaten 🙂

      Like

  34. February 15, 2015 at 11:37 am

    Poor Jackson. So many distractions. Better luck for tomorrow. Great how you let on Jackson’s age with his thoughts in the last line.

    Like

    • February 15, 2015 at 11:48 am

      There’s a lot to do when you’re a kid 🙂 I’m sure that tomorrow will see the big water fight start in earnest.

      Like

  35. February 15, 2015 at 9:15 pm

    A happy twist, although I hope his violent tendencies don’t transform into more deadly talents as he grows older – there’s still a worrying tone to his thoughts, even if he only has a water pistol. Well told, and still a bit sinister to me.

    Like

    • February 16, 2015 at 11:34 am

      I also worry that one day soon the water pistol will change to something more dangerous.

      Like

  36. February 16, 2015 at 2:50 pm

    Delightful story, so glad you went this way.

    Like

  37. Tena Carr
    February 22, 2015 at 11:32 am

    Wow. What a twist…. I was expecting this to be somekind of military type mission, and then… Very nice!

    Like

    • February 22, 2015 at 3:42 pm

      Thanks! I like to pop a little twist in my stories when I can 🙂

      Like

  38. March 8, 2015 at 12:55 am

    Excellent! Excellent! Excellent! I was so worried about the assassination until the last line. Then I busted myself laughing. Thank You!

    Like

    • March 8, 2015 at 5:43 am

      I’m glad I managed to keep you on the wrong track until the last moment 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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