Friday Fictioneers – Vera Versus the Devil
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted as always by Rochelle. This week’s picture was contributed by FF stalwart Sandra Crook.
I’ve had a very odd and worrying week, so here’s a very odd story to go with it, best I can summon up right now.
Meet my heroine, doddery old Vera, as she sits on the beach enjoying a nice cup of tea. Feel free to apply a Northern English accent to her words :-).
To read the other stories, click on the blue froggy.
Copyright Sandra Crook
“Look at them cliffs, dearie. Lovely view!”
“I CARE NOTHING OF VIEWS! I AM COME…”
“Nice cup o’ tea?”
“… TO, um, TEAR YOUR REALM TO SHREDS…”
“And a tasty biscuit?”
“… um, AND DRAG YOU TO THE DEPTHS OF, um, yes, thank you… WAIT! I CARE NOTHING OF BISCUITS…”
“What did you say your name was, dearie?”
“Um, YOU WILL BURN, um, ‘Satan’, Ma’am.”
“Ooh, I knew some Seytons once, from over York way, are you related? Strange bunch. Nice bit o’ Madeira cake? Fresh this mornin’.”
“Um, BURN IN THE FIRES OF… oh, what’s the point.”
“Ooh, where’d he go? Odd fellow.”
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draliman on life 
Very creative and great title. Perhaps he’d prefer devilled eggs to biscuits? I hope your week improves Ali.
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Devilled eggs might have swayed him 🙂
Thanks, the worst is over I think.
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Very funny, Ali. Aww, so the cake almost tempted him. I guess the devil will have to go elsewhere. I hope things are looking up for you.
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There’s no fighting tea and biscuits 🙂
Things are looking better, thanks.
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Seems he was feeling a bit under the weather that day. 🙂
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His heart wasn’t in it, poor fellow 🙂
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Nope. Hope things Brighten for you soon alley
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Things are looking better, thanks.
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Oh I hate autocorrect.
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🙂
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ha ha .Such great hospitality would surely drive the devil away! Great story.
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He was out of his element 🙂
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You see? Good manners can tame the Devil. I’ve always said more civility would cure much of what ails this world 🙂 Now, you’ve proved it.
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Certainly not what he was expecting 🙂
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Great scene! It seems even Satan’s no match for a Northerm woman and her insistence on cake and biscuits – and a nice cuppa, of course. You did very well with the northern accent. I could hear Vera’s Yorkshire twang as I read this. 🙂
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Thanks! No-one would be a match for Vera and her tea and tasty snacks and Satan is no exception 🙂
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Sorry about the two comments, Ali. I thought the first one hadn’t posted, so I wrote a second one. Please delete it, if you haven’t already.
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Done that!
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Tea, biscuits and a beautiful day at the beach, Satan didn’t have a chance. Nicely done. Phyllis
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No, the idyllic scene really confused the poor fellow 🙂
Thanks!
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What the world needs is more tea and bickies! 😀
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For sure 🙂 Yum.
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Ah ya made me laugh!
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Yay, I’m glad 🙂
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I’m laughing out loud. I love this perfect small story.
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I’m glad you enjoyed it, I like to make people laugh 🙂
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Reblogged this on West Coast Review and commented:
This story gets five out of five stars on West Coast Review.
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Thanks for the reblog!
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My Gram always swore by the great magic in tea and cookies. Maybe you should have a few this week Ali.
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I will do exactly that this evening at my book club 🙂
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Seyton’s say isn’t going to get any better. The next doomed realm on his list is Chad and Brad’s…
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That should be Day, of course. The devil made me typo…
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🙂
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They’ll drive him back to Hell quick smart. Or he’ll join them for a toke and never leave…
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So funny. And liked the way the devil just gave up..
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Thanks! There’s no fighting Vera and her tea and biscuits 🙂
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And that’s exactly the way to deal with him. Such an original take on the prompt. Well done.
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Kill him with kindness. I’m glad you liked it!
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I think the devil was getting bored 😀 Hope all is okay again, Draliman 🙂 Happy Pawkisses 🙂 ❤
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He could at least have stayed for a cuppa!
Everything is looking better now, thanks.
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Dear Ali,
“I knew some Seytons…” this made me laugh out loud. I could just see this sweet, clueless old lady frustrating Lucifer himself. I’m sorry about your odd week, but it precipitated one of the most delightful stories on the list. Hope things are looking up for you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
I think such a lady would frustrate anyone with a “job” to do. Satan was no exception! I’m glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for such a lovely comment 🙂
Things are getting back to normal, thanks.
Ali
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Very amusing, sir.
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Thanks 🙂
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I’m please to hear, Satan copes with old ladies, as badly as the rest of us.
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No-one is immune to flustered old ladies with cups of tea 🙂
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a flustered devil. i love it…
or God works in mysterious ways, His Vera to perform…
Randy :’-)
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He may well have co-opted Vera as his agent on Earth. It worked, anyway!
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i guess vera wins this round, but what about the next? i wonder. 🙂
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I reckon that with a nice cuppa in her hand Vera will always be victorious 🙂
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So do I hear that Satan gives in to the temptations… awesome images here.
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Thanks! That Madeira cake was the final straw.
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Hilarious, Ali. That is a great scene. She’ll never know who exactly she was talking to. She actually tempted Satan with the tea and biscuits and got away with it. He probably had the wrong person anyway. She didn’t seem the type to be taken by him. I would guess she had poor eyesight. I hope your day improved. 🙂 — Suzanne
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She out-tempted the master of temptation! She remains completely oblivious to this day 🙂
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Very funny story. I loved how Vera got the best of him. 🙂
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And she didn’t even realise. Just Vera being Vera 🙂
I’m glad you liked it!
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Oh that’s cool! I have somebody I love and her name is Vera 🙂
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Does she have a fondness for tea and biscuits (who doesn’t)? 🙂
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I am certain about the biscuits 🙂
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🙂
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Loved it. The power of evil is no match for the complacency of the elderly. I like Vera. Hope to see more of her.
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I was thinking maybe I could find another foe for her to inadvertently best, a sort of “Vera Versus” series.
I’m glad you liked it!
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My money is definitely on Vera and my intention is to turn into a batty old lady – if I’m not there already. Fun piece. Reminds me of Terry Pratchett.
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There’s no beating Vera!
Thanks – Terry Pratchett is one of my favourite authors. I always loved the way he had Death speak in capitals 🙂
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The world needs more Veras. This is brilliant. Not that I wish more worrying weeks on you (glad you say all is good now)–but a series of ‘Vera versus’ would be just the thing. Can you recommend a video or recording about the way of speaking for the poor Kraut here who isn’t all that certain about the dialects? Would be great if I could ‘hear’ her, too.
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A world full of Veras. 🙂
The only thing I can think of off the top of my head is “Heartbeat” – a long-running series (finished now) about a policeman in 1960s Yorkshire. There are Yorkshire accents in that. Or if you’ve heard Sean Bean (Sharpe, Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings) talk, he has a Yorkshire accent. I’m sure YouTube will have a Yorkshire accent somewhere too!
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Thank you. Yes, I can hear Sean Bean. I’ll check out Heartbeat.
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Brill 🙂
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Thanks 🙂
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Vera is a character with spunk. I would love to read more about her. 🙂
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I have one or two other ideas for a “Vera Versus” series already in my head 🙂
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Excellent. I look forward to reading them.
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I’ve just posted another one. Though it’s hard to beat The Devil. I should have worked up to Him 🙂
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That was a most amusing tale, Ali.
So happy to hear your week is back to normal.
Makes one wonder if Vera was clued in all the way… they can be sneaky those old ladies!
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There is always a possibility that she knows exactly what she’s doing 🙂
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I’m of the opinion she totally is.
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Excellent. Those pushy old ladies almost always get their way! …
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They certainly do! Vera has a certain something against which no man (or thing) can stand.
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Madeira cake is on this week’s menu. Since reading your story, I’ve read recipes for it. Yum…
Oh! and your story is so silly great…hopefully, writing it lifted your week and your spirits.
Ellespeth
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I’m glad you liked it! I’m rather fond of my Mum’s Madeira cake 🙂
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luv it, doc…
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Innocence is always the best weapon against the Accuser of the Bretheren
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Yep. Vera’s either too innocent or too oblivious to be corruptible.
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Hahahaha, loved it! Just loved it!
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I’m glad 🙂
I just posted a second Vera story too! I’m hoping to do a little series.
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She seems to be in her own thoughts, pissing off the other one!
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She has no idea what’s going on, bless her!
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I missed these originally, it seems. This was funny, disarming, and charming, Doc Ali. Did the Devil end up throwing himself off the cliff in frustration? (one hopes) 🙂 I don’t off-hand know what a north English accent sounds like, so I’m imagining Hyacinth Bucket (Bouquet)’s voice for Vera’s role.
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I’m glad you liked it! I wouldn’t be surprised if he jumper off the cliff. Prolonged exposure to Vera can do that to you!
Hyacinth’s accent is quite “proper” English. I don’t know if you have seen the actor Sean Bean in anything (“Sharp”, “Lord of the Rings”, “Game of thrones”, “Goldeneye”) but that’s the sort of accent 🙂
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Oh yeah, I’ve seen him in a lot. Did you see the recent Frankenstein Chronicles he was the lead in? He was awesome, as was that series; much too short. Thanks for the accent tip . . . that makes sense that Hyacinth would use the ‘queen’s English’! Thanks again, Dr. Ali–happy Thursday.
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I haven’t seen that, I’ll have to watch out for it!
Happy Friday to you 🙂
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