FF – Destroying the Lobster
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Rochelle herself.
Patrons screamed as a black-clad figure smashed through the ceiling window, dropping to the floor.
“Come out, Lobster!” he snarled. “Your evil-doing days are done!”
“Good evening, Sir,” said a waiter, quite unphased. “Table for one?”
“What? Where is the Lobster?”
“I’m sure I don’t know, Sir. Maybe a cocktail while you wait?”
“I’m a top agent, dammit!”
“That’s nice, Sir.”
“I’ve got the wrong address again, haven’t I?”
“Indeed. We do have lobster, if Sir would care to choose one?”
“Fine. I’ll destroy the lobster one way or another.”
“Certainly, Sir. I’ll have the ceiling repairs added to your bill, Sir.”
Sharing My World 17-01-2022
Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.
Fill in: ‘If I were really completely honest, I would say that …’ (This is a question for ‘radical honesty’)
… “radical honesty” is a great way to really upset people and get your face smashed in.
Have you ever broken anything? What about rules?
I’ve broken lots of things, though not as many as you might expect by my age. I’ve never broken any “significant” bones (just potentially little toes, apparently they break all the time I’ve heard).
As for rules… me? I’m a little angel, me…
Are you also afraid of spiders? What is your biggest fear, other than spiders? (if you’re not afraid of spiders, use your biggest phobia instead).
I don’t know if “afraid” is the right word. I know they can’t hurt me. Screaming and rushing across the room is just a result of being “startled”.
Do you think time goes faster as you get older?
Yes, because it does.
FF – The Wrong Book
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Ted Strutz.
“Hi, excuse me?”
“I’m in the middle of Children’s Story Time…”
“Won’t take a sec. Do you have a copy of Winnie-the-Pooh and the Horrible Demise of Eeyore?”
“Um…”
“Rapunzel and the Tower Plummet? Jack and Jill 2 – Undead Resurrection?”
“This is a Children’s Library, Sir!”
“The Famous Five and the Mystery of the Disembowelled Corpse?”
“Please leave! You’re upsetting the children, giving them ideas!”
“Humph. Bye, then.”
“Now, children, where was I?”
“Please, Sir, Goldilocks, Sir! I reckon Baby Bear’s gonna rip her face off! I would if she ate my porridge!”
“Aargh! What will I tell the parents…?”
Sharing My World 10-01-2022
Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.
Who do you think is an example of a successful person?
You’re successful if you believe yourself to be successful. That’s a determination people have to make for themselves. Everyone has a different metric. A great job, a successful relationship, power, a shit ton of cash…
I’ll have all of those, please.
Why are you doing what you’re currently doing?
It’s Sunday morning and that’s when I do my Share Your World post 🙂
What is your personal theme song?
I don’t have a theme song. Sounds a bit weird, like “new age motivation”. Singing it to myself in the mirror every morning before tackling the day 😮
What do you think about tofu?
I don’t think about tofu. I think about steak, burgers, bacon and sausages.
FF – Eternal Vista
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Bradley Harris.
He gazed out over the beautiful vista before him, feeling his heart rate decrease, his blood pressure lower as he found serenity. The lapping waves, the sun shining off the bottom of the clouds, the lush, green grass. The corpse at his feet.
Oh, mate. When I said ‘what’s mine is yours’, I didn’t mean my wife.
He’d bury him here, he thought. Such a lovely view to enjoy for eternity.
Don’t worry, mate, you won’t be stuck here all alone for long. I’ve brought company.
With that in mind, he returned to the car to fetch his cheating wife.
Sharing My World 03-01-2022
Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World. This week we have more questions from the Nest critters.
What frivolous, but annoying thing that people do be considered a sin (crime)? And how should violators be made to repent (be punished) for it?
I’m with Dawn on this one. Littering. Okay, it’s technically a crime but even so. There’s no need for it. The punishment? The bin men make a delivery rather than a collection, and dump a load of rubbish in their living room. See how they like it.
Imagination IN and impracticality and logic aside, if you could pick one animal to have as an exotic pet based solely on how cute and adorable it is, what would it be?
One of those cute baby animals, like a baby panda or one of those baby wild cats.
Do you have any siblings? If so, where do you rank in birth order? And do you think either of these facts contributed to the person you became?
I’m the older of two brothers. I don’t know if that has contributed to my current state of being.
We all have things that make us happy, but what makes you deliriously, giddily, tail wagging-ly happy?
I don’t get that happy. I have quite stable moods. I like to keep things somewhere in the middle.
If you had an alter ego, who or what would it be? Describe some fun or interesting things about them!
I would be Dre’Zar, lord of the universe. Living incognito on Earth for whatever reason, I would have many special powers. For example, if I saw someone doing something absolutely frivolous but annoying (like littering) I would be able to instantly obliterate them.
FF – Role Reversal
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Brenda Cox. It took me forever to think up a story this week.
Hand-painted art was all the rage. And why wouldn’t it be? Since the attempted takeover of the world by intelligent machines (well done, Sci-Fi, you were right), that’s all there was.
After all the scientists and engineers were blamed, put up against a wall and shot (it was presumably a very big wall), creative types were all that were left.
In a completely unexpected reversal of roles, poorer countries became the new “Silicon Valley”, while those left in the actual Silicon Valley, bereft of devices, were left trying to rediscover how to make a pencil work.
Who’d’a thunk it?
Sharing My World 27-12-2021
Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.
At 12 a.m. on December 31st/Jan 1st, what will you be doing?
Since that has been and gone, I can tell you exactly what I did! I watched TV and played Assassin’s Creed Valhalla until just before midnight, at which point I read until the year had passed.
Is there a tradition you have for New Year’s Eve?
Just to stay up late and have some nibbles in to eat.
Do you have any hope or reason you find that next year will be better?
Nope.
What’s the biggest personal lesson you learned during 2021?
I don’t do “personal lessons”. I just keep making the same mistakes over and over again. It’s how I roll.
FF – It’s Christmas!
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Dale Rogerson.
It’s Christmas!
Lights, colours, buying gifts.
It’s Christmas!
Boisterous antics, late nights at the pub.
It’s Christmas!
Bringing home the tree, hanging the decorations.
It’s Christmas!
Even Baz had treated himself. An extra couple of newspapers padded his sleeping bag and he’d pulled it below the overpass to keep out of the worst of the snow. He wasn’t supposed to be under here, but he knew he’d be okay for a week, no-one would move him on until January, because…
It’s Christmas.
Sharing My World 20-12-2021
Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.
What is your least favourite holiday side dish? (for any holiday)
I’m not sure what the definition of “side dish” is here. In a restaurant, it really is a dish on the side, but at home nobody I have ever known has had a separate dish. We British tend to bung everything on the plate at once, chuck on a load of gravy and then tuck in.
What is the ugliest or most tasteless decoration you’ve ever seen?
I’m sure I’ve have seen a few, but they have been apparently wiped from my memory in disgust.
What is a cherished or unusual (either or both) family tradition from your childhood?
Me and my brother always woke up early on Christmas morning, went through our Christmas stockings and then woke Mum and Dad up to show them what Santa had brought us 🙂
You’re walking down the street, feeling great — what holiday song would be playing in the background?
I took this photo while walking to the next village over a couple of days ago. So maybe “Mud, Glorious Mud”. Though it’s not technically a holiday song, it seems most apt for this Christmas, where we’re seeing a lot of drizzle and temperatures as high as 12 degrees, so very warm!
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