FF – Neat and Tidy

November 17, 2021 44 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Dale Rogerson.

“There we go. Ta-da!”

“Hmm, very neat and tidy. Not very safe-looking, though. Propped up like that.”

“Rubbish, it’s fine.”

“Look, your mum’s at the window.”

Creeeeak

“Boys, you’ve been working very hard! Do you fancy a snack? I can whip up…”

CRAAAAASH! Aaaargh!

“Oh, God, nooooooo! Why, God, whyyyyyy? Now we’re gonna have to make our own snacks.”

“Well, shit.”

“Bollocks to that. Pub?”

“Yep. I’m sure she’ll be fine.”

Grooooan…

Sharing My World 08-11-2021

November 14, 2021 11 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

How many pillows do you sleep with? If over one or two, is it because you sleep better ‘propped up’ a little?
Ha, I had to pop upstairs and check! One pillow. Quite a flat pillow at that. I’m of the opinion that sleeping with my head at a 45 degree angle to the body is probably not the best for your neck.

What would be the worst thing you could put in a piñata?
Poo 😮

Body parts 😮

Those chocolates with the nuts that are always left behind in the variety box at Christmas 😮

What noise annoys you the most?
I hate constantly-barking dogs. How do they find the energy to bark for hours on end? What’s wrong with them? Why don’t the owners get them to shut up? It’s 3 in the morning! These are just some of the barking-dog questions which will never be answered.

If cartoon physics suddenly replaced real physics, what are some things you would want to try?
I’d like to be able to go wherever I like simply by drawing a big hole.

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FF – A Beautiful View

November 10, 2021 48 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Ted Strutz.

Copyright Ted Strutz

Dave and little Maggie walked up on deck and looked out over the impressive vista before them.

“Oh, Daddy, isn’t it beautiful?”

“It is, Maggie.”

“I wish Mummy was here to see it.”

“Me too.”

Mummy had been held up. She’d missed the boat. Dave and Maggie’s home, since the waters rose. Maggie had been only six months then.

“Those are trees, aren’t they, Daddy?”

“That’s right, Maggie.”

“Daddy?”

“Yes, dear?”

“I heard some of the others talking. Why are they calling this place the ‘Sahara Desert’?”

“That’s a story for another time. Come on, let’s go back below.”

Sharing My World 01-11-2021

November 7, 2021 21 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World. This week is another squirrel one, courtesy of Evil Squirrel’s critters.

ScratchyWhat was the very first popular song you ever remember taking a liking to? I’m not talking about children’s songs or old traditional songs… but the kind of songs you’d hear on the radio.
I can’t remember, but the first album I bought with my very own pocket money was Super Trouper by Abba.

ZeebaAre you one of those people who get queasy at sight of blood, or could you watch an open heart surgery?
I’m fine with blood, and I can watch anything as long as it’s on TV. Just last night I was watching “Dredd” and happily munched away at my egg and bacon roll while viewing a drug dealer who’d been skinned and thrown off a 200 storey building, brains all over the ground.

However, if I were to see anything like that in real life, I’d probably pass out before I even had time to throw up.

Big ScratWho or what do you feel is lurking right behind you, just waiting to ambush you and make your life a living hell (or “heck” for those with delicate sensibilities)?
I don’t feel like anything is lurking right behind me. That’s no way to live 😮 Even Snuggle Bear doesn’t see it coming until it “happens”…

SparkleponyWhat is the gaudiest thing you have ever worn?
I once went to a 70s themed disco. I had a big wig, tight purple trousers, the whole 70s thing. Aside from that, I’m pretty much dark blue, black and grey clothes-wise.

The Squirrel ChildrenFess up! What was something you did as a child that got you into BIG trouble?
Me? BIG trouble? As if… 😉

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FF – Back Down to Earth

November 4, 2021 46 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Jennifer Pendergast.

“Look, dear, Billy’s done some artwork! I’m in it! I am at the centre of everything. The intersection of the Venn Diagram. I am his beginning and his end. I am the centre of his universe. I AM HIS GOD!”

“That’s all very nice, darling, but Billy’s only four years old. I’m not entirely sure that’s what he’s trying to say.”

“Hey, Billy, come and explain your artwork to me!”

“Well, Daddy, the yewow dinasouwus is gonna eat you, and you is vewy scared and you has done a little poo poo.”

“Humph.”

“Don’t worry, darling, you’re still the centre of my universe.”

Sharing My World 25-10-2021

October 31, 2021 27 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Name something you wouldn’t want to run into in a dark forest or in an abandoned building?
Dreeplang G’Kar, lesser demon of the Circles of Hell (Junior Grade). He’s okay usually, but stick him in an abandoned building and he goes all hard core, all “eat your soul” this and “destroy the world” that. There’s just no talking to him.

Do you believe in multiple dimensions or worlds?
Yeah. I bet that’s what deja vu is. A glimpse across realms dum dum DUM…

Would you ever go to a graveyard at night?
Yes, I don’t see any reason not to. Even Dreeplang G’Kar is pretty chill in graveyards.

What is the most frightening book you’ve ever read?
“Wuthering Heights”. That was frighteningly boring. I thought it would be all heaving bosoms and whatnot. You’re better off watching the film adaptation for stuff like this. Shame, because the song spinoff by Kate Bush was awesome.

If you could have a spooky Halloween pet (black cat, owl, bat, rat, wolf), which would you pick out of the five choices?
I’d have a black cat. Black cats aren’t spooky, black cats are cool.

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FF – Alien Attack!

October 28, 2021 49 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Douglas M MacIlroy.

Looking at the title of the photo, I think this was taken at an observatory.

Copyright Doug M MacIlroy

“What did the general say?”

“Not much, but I could hear shouting in the background. They’ve locked in the coordinates we got from our telescope. The military has been scrambled. Missiles have been launched at the unknown object we reported.”

“That’s not so good, then.”

“And I gather from all the screaming, Russia and China think we’re about to attack them and have mobilised their own militaries.”

“So when do we tell him that what we saw was the result of a seagull crapping on the lens?”

“Maybe we’ll leave it for a bit. They sounded very busy. Pint?”

“Yep.”

Sharing My World 18-10-2021

October 24, 2021 15 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Are you easily frightened or startled?
I am when I suddenly become aware that there’s a spider crawling all over me. It’s probably quite amusing to watch me screaming and jumping up and down.

If you were a ghost, what location do you think you would haunt? Is it the same or different from the location you’d want to haunt?
I’d probably end up being allocated some boring spot somewhere by the Ghostly Supervisor. whereas I’d prefer to be haunting the… um, never mind 😉

What do you see in your mind’s eye when you close your eyes?
I see everything and anything. My mind’s eye is free to roam the universe, where it makes stuff up with gay abandon.

If a Semi (Big Rig in Americanese) (lorry or trolley over the pond) were about to smash into a crowd, and you could divert the vehicle’s course to hit only one person, would you? How would you decide who would become the victim?
Even if I weren’t frozen in indecision, I’d probably leave it alone and yell warnings. Leaving it alone is “what will be, will be” whereas if I messed with it, I’d be deliberately killing the one person.

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FF – First Date Mishap

October 20, 2021 55 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo appears to be a beautiful painting by Rochelle herself 🙂

“Goodness, a home-cooked meal!”

“I like to make an impression on a first date!”

“I’ll just add a bit of salt, pepper, some ketchup…”

What are you doing.

“Huh?”

You haven’t even tasted it yet.

“I, um…”

“Let me take a quick photo of you (snap) I just need to send a text, one sec…”

tappity tappity here is photo of target tappity tappity usual terms tappity tappity make it look like an accident tappity tap send

“… there we go. So, where were we? You were telling me about your job? It sounds fascinating!”

“Um.”

“Eat up!”

“Um.”

Sharing My World 11-10-2021

October 17, 2021 16 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What is the scariest game (board or on-line) you ever may have played?
That would be “The Last of Us”. One of the best games ever made, but I will never play it again! At one point I actually jumped up off the sofa, I got such a fright.

I’m still trying to work up the courage to play the sequel.

What’s just “over the rainbow” for you?
A pair of weighing scales. That’s what it says in the song, isn’t it? “Somewhere over the rainbow, weigh a pie…

Sorry, that’s a very old joke 😦

Do you have to watch something upbeat after watching a suspense or horror movie so you can go to sleep?
No, I always read some of my book before going to bed so that takes the edge off it. I’m not even sure what constitutes a proper “horror movie” these days anyway, to be honest.

Is there intent behind every action?
No. Sometimes people just act on instinct. Though I suppose that does mean some sort of un-premeditated intent. You sometimes end up with unintended consequences, though.

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