draliman on life

Here is my post for Share Your World, hosted by Melanie.

What did you learn the hard way?
Not to learn things the hard way. I like to learn things the easy way. The hard way’s too hard.

Which activities make you lose track of time?
The frantic activity of looking for my watch after I’ve somehow misplaced it. I have no idea what the time is.

Why do we seem to think of others the most after they’re gone?
‘Cos that’s when you realise they owed you a tenner. And you spend the next five years contesting the will trying to get your beer money back.

Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
Of course! Not. Or maybe. Possibly.

Yes.

No.

I can’t decide.

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What’s the worst commercial you’ve seen (or heard)? Why was it so bad?
It has been so long since I saw an advert I can hardly remember any. I watch mainly streaming services, or programmes on the BBC, which has no adverts. If I want to watch something broadcast on one of the commercial channels, I never ever watch it “live”. I record it so I can fast-forward the adverts.

I’ve searched my memory but I’m drawing a complete blank on this one.

What takes a lot of time but is totally worth it?
I’m not really into things that take a lot of time. I’m lazy like that. I like lots of different things that take short amounts of time.

Have you ever smiled at a stranger and then wished you hadn’t? Why or why not?
Probably, though I can’t remember the last time. It would have been like the usual “awkward wave” moment. The one where someone is waving, and you think “who’s that?”, but you don’t have a good memory for faces, it could be someone you know, and you wave back. Then you realise your horrible mistake when someone else waves back and you try to awkwardly turn the wave into a head scratch or arm stretch and you make it worse…

What do you think is the nastiest tasting food?
For me, I reckon that’s celery. I even tried some recently because I didn’t believe it could be as bad as I remembered. It was.

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What activity instantly calms you?
Falling asleep. That’s pretty calming.

What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve done lately?
Spontaneous? Spontaneous? What is this word which you speak to me?

You mean, do something without meticulous planning, every detail examined and triple-checked?

Craziness.

If people receive a purple heart for bravery, what would other colour hearts represent?
There’s the “Taupe Heart for Mediocreness”.

There’s also one which is a sort of dark dirty red colour, streaked with black, which is the Broken Heart, of course. It is inscribed on the back:

They broke your heart
It wasn’t fun
You fell apart
And now you’re done.

Some versions have this inscribed on the back instead:

You messed it up
And now you’re chucked
They threw you out
And now you’re… well I expect you can see where this one’s going…

What is the bravest thing you’ve ever done or witnessed someone else do?
A little while ago I saw someone fly their fighter down into a trench, ignoring shots from below and fighters from behind and hold his nerve until he could fire his torpedoes down a shaft to blow up a huge deadly space station.

No, wait.

That was Star Wars.

Sorry.

Still pretty brave, though.

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What are you most proud of in the last year?
I felt proud of making the decision to keep my current car due to low mileage rather than swapping for a new one (I use PCP finance so it’s generally a straight swap with a smallish deposit).

I felt less proud when the car dealership phoned me up about getting a new car and I immediately caved 😮

If you see a puddle on the ground, do you walk around it or give in to the child within and splash about?
Confucius say “he who jump in puddles didn’t have to spend all day making money to pay for shoes”.

Do you feel free? Why or why not?
Yep, I’m totally free. Form an orderly queue, ladies, no charge!

What life skills are rarely taught but are extremely useful?
I don’t know what’s taught these days. I don’t remember being taught any life skills whatsoever back in the 70s/80s, apart from maths perhaps.

A bit more “how to budget and manage your money” and a bit less “Henry the Eighth” and “types of glacier” might have been useful.

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What inanimate object do you wish you could eliminate from existence?
That high curb. You know, the one around the corner. That I keep scuffing my alloys on. That can go. The bastard thing.

What tells you the most about a person?
Their eyes… the way you can look into a person’s very soul and be able to instantly tell whether they’re going to smile politely and wish you good day or stab you repeatedly in the kidneys until you hand over your wallet.

What is something you thought would be easy until you tried it?
Being in a relationship. It’s not all fun and roses, people! Apparently playing video games and watching TV all day is “not acceptable”. You have to “communicate” and “do stuff together”. I can’t be having with that.

What ridiculous and untrue, yet slightly plausible, theories can you come up with for the cause of common ailments like headaches or cavities?
Aches and pains. Many people think they’re down to old age. Not true! They’re caused by the high-pitched squeals of small out-of-control children. These squeals build up, reverberating around the world, gaining strength and ultimately causing our very bodies to vibrate, causing these pains.

Who knew?